The Messy, Loud, Chaotic, Peaceful Family
Chelsee here! Homeschooling is a huge part of homesteading and I wanted to take a minute to share the White family homeschool story!
My first glimpse into Catholic homeschooling was about 15 years ago when I met my future husband's aunt and her family. They are a beautiful, large, Catholic, homeschooling family and seeing their life greatly impacted me.
There was a short season after I had married my husband, Jason, and became a new mother. I would go over to this aunt’s house and help their seventh grader with his math. My daughter was so happy at their house; she loved watching the excitement of all the children running around her and doting on her. And I was happy too. I loved seeing these occasions of family life that were so different from anything I had ever seen before. It was messy, loud, and chaotic — yet ordered. It sounds like an oxymoron, yet now I see that it isn't! At the time it was a bit confusing and surprising. Now I see that the order I sensed wasn't because the house was immaculate or pinterest-worthy or a labels-on-everything-everywhere kind of house. No, instead it was due to the peace that comes with a rightly ordered life centered on God and submission to His will.
Jason’s aunt’s dedication to a vocation of marriage and family life was a beautiful witness to behold because she understood that her path to Heaven was through her family. These parents understood that our purpose here on this earth is to know, love, and serve God and they diligently sought to fulfill this mission by serving each other as a family. Love was woven throughout all they did so they lived in a joyful atmosphere.
And you know what? It wasn't easy. I could see that plain and clear — raising nine children and homeschooling them to boot was no easy task. In fact, it was one of the harder paths they could have chosen — so why did they choose it? I began to wonder.
I saw the difference in their kids' formation, education, moral compass, and life skills compared to that of their peers, and realized it was different in a very good way! Clearly, if I wanted the same I would need to be intentional about raising my own child and future children. If I hoped for anything similar for my children, I could not hand them over to daycare, the public (and, sadly, private) educational systems, modern day media, and cultural influences and expect them to be formed and guided. According to my duty as their mother, I realized that my job is to pass down the faith to them and help them to live a life worthy of the calling they have received (Ephesians 4:1). The best way that I can love them and care for them is by teaching them to know, love, and serve God in this world so that they can be happy with Him forever in the next.
I found my duty clearly laid out for me in the Catechism of the Catholic Church:
"The right and the duty of parents to educate their children are primordial and inalienable. Parents must regard their children as children of God and respect them as human persons. Showing themselves obedient to the will of the Father in heaven, they educate their children to fulfill God's law. Parents have the first responsibility for the education of their children. They bear witness to this responsibility first by creating a home where tenderness, forgiveness, respect, fidelity, and disinterested service are the rule. The home is well suited for education in the virtues. This requires an apprenticeship in self-denial, sound judgment, and self-mastery - the preconditions of all true freedom." (CCC 2222-2223)
As parents, we form our children into what they will become as adults, and I found that homeschooling is an excellent means of formation. It provides the proper atmosphere to teach my children what they need to know and when they need to know it. This was all evident in Jason's aunt's home and it served as a testimony of the truth contained in that way of life — a life I wished to emulate!
Not only were the children formed and educated according to their parent’s and God’s wishes rather than society’s wishes, but they were remarkably happier! They didn't suffer from being thrown into the trenches of a secular world where God has been meticulously removed. You know who else was happier, I noticed? The parents! Jason's uncle worked hard all day long to provide for his family and he came home tired, knowing his work wasn't finished because he still had a duty to his children to provide for their needs in more than financial ways. He worked and worked, recognizing that his family was a blessing and a gift… and he looked satisfied. I could tell he loved them! I was at his office with Jason one day (before I had even met the rest of the family) and saw a picture on his desk of his family and thought, "Wow! That's a lot of kids! And what a beautiful witness they are!”
Saint John Paul II says that "Motherhood is sometimes presented as something backward or as a limitation to a woman's freedom, thus distorting its true nature and dignity.” I saw this clearly in Jason’s aunt’s home. She quit her career shortly after beginning to have children and she was more satisfied and happier than ever before, devoting herself to her future through them.
I knew very quickly that God was showing me through this family how He wanted my own family to live as well. He was revealing to me the true nature and dignity of womanhood. The path wasn't an easy one, but the choice to follow it was!
Fast forward 15 years and we have now been homeschooling for eight years now. We have five children ages 3-11 and another due in October. It's messy, loud, and chaotic... and I wouldn't have it any other way! It is filled with peace and grace — so much grace! It isn't easy; it's the hardest thing I have ever done and continue to do. But God uses my family over and over to show me His beauty, truth, and goodness. So I remain convinced, even during those most difficult days, that this is the best way to fulfill my vocation and use my time on this earth.
