VISION & ORIGIN

1 – It Takes a Village

As I gazed across the expansive, turbulent sea, a circle-shaped inlet of deep blue water came into focus. The long-awaited ship finally sailed into port, and several villagers gathered around me waving their arms as they shouted, “Juan Enrique, Juan Enrique, Juan Enrique es aquí.” We were all excited to see our generous benefactor on the bow of his supply ship waving back to us with a comforting smile of confidence. The decks were once again filled with stacks of cement bags, wooden timbers, and colored roofing tiles that he had brought from the civilized world.

Surrounding us were lush, green leaves of the dense jungle that we had settled, now showing signs of our work scattered throughout each clearing that we had carved out and connected by dirt roads. Stick-framed structures poked up through the canopy in every direction—some intended for homes, some for workshops, and one for a school, with a chapel in the middle to guide our activities in the center of our faith. These new buildings, in various stages of construction, would house the needs of our new community.

It now seems funny to me that this recurring dream of my childhood didn’t include building departments, construction quarrels, and taxes. Nevertheless, it was an exceptionally clear vision that seemed real to me then, and even more real to me now that construction has begun.

I suppose it started back then—this idea of small Catholic family neighborhoods nestled in various regions of the world. After all, why not live next to like-minded people of the same faith? And why not live close to a priest and/or religious and celebrate Mass together on a daily basis? Why are we not doing it already?

With this energetic calling to build a Catholic Family Homestead, I have never been concerned about the extensive effort required because it just has to be done, and without delay! One of the most important considerations of my continuing discernment for this enterprise is that no matter how many difficulties persist, and no matter how many people tell me that I’m crazy, one constant thought continues: Why don’t Catholic Family Homestead Communities already exist?

For those families who are genuinely interested in starting a Catholic Family Homestead, this testimony is intended to strengthen you along your journey. Follow the inclinations of your heart, for they most probably originate from the will of God, who inspires us to mature beyond the complacency of the current hedonistic majority. So with a prayer for clarity and fortitude, let’s trace the origins of Our Lady’s Ranch, and the trials, tribulations, and trust that blazed the trail of rewards now enjoyed by all those who have surrendered themselves to God’s holy will.

“Blessed are they who have kept the word with a generous heart and yield a harvest through perseverance.” (Luke 8:15)

After the many village building dreams of a ten-year-old boy that later became an architect, the next significant movements occurred through a constant desire to live in the serene setting of a pastoral countryside. A shimmering little brook flowing through the swaying green blades of meadow grass nestled at the base of shallow hills, seemed to me an ideal place to raise a family. But then what of ministry? How can this scene utilize one’s gifts, talents, and resources for the glory of God and the salvation of souls? Well, by utilizing the peaceful environment for spiritual retreats. So that’s what I first intended—to purchase a few acres of land in the country where I could raise children and provide spiritual retreats for busy people who desired a respite in order to experience God in the natural beauty of His creation.

Initially these thoughts and ideas only occurred a few times a year, but then they would surface every month. And just as they began happening every week, a little touch of divine intervention nudged me while on an airplane, traveling to the island of Guam. Starting back in 1989, I spent seven years on the island developing single-family housing cul-de-sacs, while providing architectural and construction services for the local residents and business owners.

On the very first one of the many flights to Guam, with twelve hours of flying time to daydream and wonder, I was enjoying thoughts of a future wife and future children, living in a sprawling countryside ranch house, while building little cabins for visitors. In between these musings, I opened up the Continental Airline magazine and my eyes fell directly upon photos of Australia. Then I began to read an article about a husband and wife who purchased fifty acres there, and were in the process of beautifying the land while receiving city-folks for retreats. And I distinctly remember the immediate assuring feeling that swept through my body while realizing, That’s it! That is exactly what I want to do.

So I proceeded to work hard, develop my architectural skills, and make as much money as possible in order to someday afford my dream property in the California countryside. After completing several large architectural projects, I began buying land on the island, designing and building homes on the property, and selling those homes usually four at a time, and sometimes five. Back then, I didn’t fully realize the significance of creating little groups of homes, where I had introduced each new buyer to his/her neighbors who quickly formed friendships among the four or five families that had occupied those adjacent dwellings that I had built. But God had already designed a beautiful master plan that He was preparing me to build, even though I could only see a few rough sketches at that time.

2 – A Way of Salvation

Fast forward ten years later and there I am with my late wife (Alicia), our two-year-old daughter (Ty), and our one-year-old son (Zach) looking for countryside property in Grass Valley, California. Throughout the entire process, one fundamental question guided our discernment: How and where do we want to raise our children? This was the central question that kept returning to us in prayer, in conversation, and in every major decision. We understood that the environment in which we raised our children would shape not only their earthly lives but their eternal destinies.

After searching for the ideal property for two years, we rented a home on a lake near the little town of Grass Valley where we attended Mass at St. Patrick’s Parish. We soon met several devout Catholic families, yet we took a particular interest in the Ettlins, who came over for dinner one night to get better acquainted. As the conversation gravitated towards ministry, I began to explain the vision that was occupying a significant portion of my time and attention. I shared how we were seeking to answer that fundamental question of how and where to raise our children. I also spoke about our growing conviction that the modern cultural environment wasn’t conducive to the faith-filled family life we envisioned.

As I was describing some elements of this half-baked idea, I could see them engrossed in thought until finally they both simultaneously broke into the monologue by saying, “Community! What you’re talking about is community.”

They elaborated on their interjection by describing their recent visit to a Catholic Community in Alabama called, Caritas of Birmingham. They said that the community was based upon the messages of Our Lady of Medjugorje, and that they offer visits and retreats.

So my next thought was of course, “Let’s go! How soon?”

Well, it only took two months to get there, but to me it was like two years. I was introduced to Our Lady’s messages for the first time and after a four-day visit, my next statement was, “I’m going to Medjugorje!”

And so I did, right from there, about five days later. The mission of Caritas includes nine-day pilgrimages to Medjugorje that they lead each month, so I signed up for the next one available. In those following nine days of heaven in Medjugorje, I learned more about my life and mission than in all the 36 years before it.

The Medjugorje apparitions started on June 24, 1981, when six children saw the Blessed Mother at a place now called Apparition Hill in the little village of Medjugorje, which was part of communist Yugoslavia back then (now in Bosnia and Herzegovina). These young visionaries were between the ages of 10 and 16 years old when the apparitions began. They tell us that Our Lady began appearing to them every day, sharing messages about living in the peace of God through Prayer, Fasting, Reading the Bible, Holy Mass, and Confession.

What makes these apparitions truly extraordinary is their ongoing nature and the breadth of the messages. Our Lady herself emphasized this unique moment in salvation history when she said, “...I wish to keep on giving you messages as it has never been in history from the beginning of the world...” (April 4, 1985).

Through her messages, Our Lady has been guiding the faithful with maternal wisdom, offering practical advice for our modern challenges. The central theme of her messages encourages us to place God in the center of our lives. “At this time, I especially desire to call you to decide for God. Put God in your lives and in your families in the first place. Leave the passing things of this world of materialism—all that distances you from my Son. Decide firmly. Live my messages. I desire to continue to lead you—to lead you to my Son—that in Him you may find true and real peace and love. Thank you, dear children, for also today having responded to my call.” (July 5, 2019)

The Church is still carefully studying these apparitions, but Pope Francis gave the green light for official pilgrimages to Medjugorje in 2019, acknowledging it as a real place of prayer and spiritual growth. Millions of people have experienced conversion there, and countless vocations to the priesthood and religious life have come from Medjugorje. In August of 2024, Pope Francis granted approval for devotions linked to Medjugorje, “The Dicastery for the Doctrine of the Faith, with the assent of Pope Francis, grants approval for devotion linked to Medjugorje, recognizing the abundant spiritual fruits received at the Sanctuary of the Queen of Peace without making a declaration on the supernatural character of the Marian Apparitions.”

Upon reading and understanding the messages of Our Lady of Medjugorje, along with the mission of Caritas of Birmingham, I became more familiar with the Catholic agrarian community life that is now being activated by the Holy Spirit in many hearts throughout the world. So after that first visit, I went back to Caritas several more times to experience some formal retreats there, along with several presentations and apparitions of Marija, one of the six Medjugorje visionaries.

From the moment we arrived at Caritas, the rhythm of life there struck me as both intense and beautiful. Their day revolved around communal prayer (especially the Rosary), farming, and mission work. Everyone took part in cultivating the land so they could live simply and dedicate more resources to spreading the messages of Medjugorje.

I was really impressed by their self-sufficiency as they actively followed St. Paul’s example. Paul made tents during the day and when he had some spare time, late into the night. Thus he earned his living and did not become a burden to anyone. (1 Thessalonians 2:10)

The families of Caritas farmed to feed themselves so that when people donated money, it could go straight to spreading the Gospel instead of buying groceries. Their land provided most of what they needed, which freed up resources for evangelization—so simple, yet so effective!

Caritas showed me what a Catholic agrarian community could be like. What struck me most was how rich their life was—not just in their faith, but in the deep connections of their relationships. These people weren’t blood relatives, but they lived as one big family in Christ. I remember thinking, Why doesn’t everyone live where their best friends are just a short walk away?

Their agrarian lifestyle made it possible for them to structure each day around a prayer schedule, then farm work and home-schooling, followed by meals and leisure time. The daily schedule at Caritas was integrated together and flowing along with the natural seasons of the year, coupled with the liturgical calendar. Every activity connected them to creation, to each other, and back to our Creator Himself.

I watched parents teaching their children in such a natural way—not with textbooks and lectures, but through shared experiences. Milking the cows created a time for learning, while harvesting vegetables became a lesson in thankfulness. School was integrated with work, academics were interrelated with prayer, meals were social occasions, and every day was a uniquely powerful expression of people’s love for God in harmony with Him. What a beautiful way to live, as opposed to our current social norms which basically isolate each activity with church in one box and work in another, and then school and social life segregated as well—all disconnected activities that also disconnect us from one another and God.

I met with the founder of Caritas many times and considered what life could be like living there, or starting a small satellite community in California. I eventually discerned remaining separate from Caritas because of their rigid schedule, which is heavily structured like a religious order, and therefore geared more toward the sacrifices of their mission rather than the normal routines of daily family life. I wanted to live in an intentional community, but one that allowed much more flexibility and freedom for each family to make their own decisions about their desired prayer schedules, work times, home schooling, and their resulting daily routines.

On one of my visits to Caritas, during a time of deep prayer, I began to see more clearly the type of Catholic Homestead Community that Our Lady was showing me. I envisioned a place richly endowed with natural beauty and a variety of water sources, landscape topography, vegetation, and animal habitat. Sprinkled about the landscape were various homes located far enough apart for privacy, yet close enough together for convenience of common activities. Each house would face toward a common area in the middle, with big front porches where children could play together in sight of their parents. Right at the center of all the homes would be a small chapel, putting Christ literally in the heart of daily life. The whole layout was conceived to help us live like the Holy Family in Nazareth, where prayer, service, work, recreation, and rest would naturally fill our days with a sense of belonging, purpose, and joy.

This vision wasn’t just about building houses, barns, and roads. It was about creating a peaceful, agrarian lifestyle rooted in Jesus, guided by Mary, and flowing with the rhythms of nature along with the Liturgical Calendar. We would start just like the early Church did, with families that maintain common understandings while practicing the same faith and supporting each other through life’s challenges. Within these little neighborhoods, families could help each other raise children, produce wholesome food, and build those bonds of love that make life worth living.

Each Catholic Family Homestead Community would be financially independent, yet always ready to lend a hand to others. Each community could help people grow in all four dimensions of our physiology—spiritual, intellectual, emotional, and physical. We would have places to pray together, work together, eat together, and play together—to the degree that community members decided. Paramount in these communal opportunities would be mutual respect for each family’s personal space including individual creativity, business enterprise, and leisure time.

Our Lady’s Ranch could eventually be a model for several close-knit communities, united by our Catholic faith where families, individuals, priests and religious would live side by side—not just as people sharing the same lifestyle, but as pilgrims walking together toward heaven.

Back then I had many questions without answers. Where would God lead us to build this first homestead? Which families would join us? How should we structure our common prayer life? How much flexibility should we reserve for each family? How should we balance the private activities of our own independent families while also being truly united as a community?

While I couldn’t see all the details yet, I knew deep in my heart that this dream wasn’t just my imagination running wild. I could earnestly sense a divine calling—one that would direct my path throughout the years ahead. Partly excited because of my own ‘human enthusiasm’ but mostly engaged because of a strong inner prompting, I put my trust in God knowing that He was already preparing each step of the journey.

My experiences with the Caritas community and mission were good and healthy and holy. They helped me visualize community life and evaluate the degree of structure vs. flexibility that would accomplish a healthy neighborhood setting. The experiences there also helped me grow in my relationship with Jesus through the messages of Our Lady of Medjugorje.

In those early days of Our Lady’s school of holiness, almost every time that I randomly opened a book of Our Lady’s messages, I opened to this particular message again and again. It ran through my mind multiple times a day. A Way of Salvation became the guiding star that led me towards an agrarian life where faith, family, and farming could truly intertwine.

“Little children, I desire that through your lives you are witnesses, that you are my extended hands, my instruments. Get as many hearts as you can close to my heart and lead them to God, to A Way of Salvation.” (May 31, 1995 – emphasis added)

Over time, through Our Lady, God showed me how to live a certain spirituality that we now affectionately call, A Way of Salvation. More than a phrase, these words would become a comprehensive framework for daily living, eventually translating into concrete aspects of our homesteading lifestyle. At its foundation are Gospel values with daily Bible reading and reflection. Prayer is naturally woven throughout each day rather than only relegated to times of need. This budding spirituality blossomed into a spirit of gratitude, viewing everything as a gift from God. Instead of focusing on material accumulation, emphasis would be placed on building meaningful relationships and creating lasting memories.

My time at Caritas had shown me a working example of faith-centered agrarian living, even though it wasn’t exactly the model I felt called to create. I had a sense of the spirituality that God was forming in me, drawn deeply from Our Lady’s messages of Medjugorje, and I had glimpsed what families living and working closely together could achieve. But forming a new lifestyle for my own family, and potentially others, meant starting out with very few guideposts.

Without an existing movement to join or an established blueprint to follow, the search for land took on even greater importance. I wasn’t just looking for property—I was seeking a physical location for the philosophical ideal of how best to live as a family. Each potential property I toured raised the spiritual question: Could this physical place support the vision that God had placed within my heart. So the search wasn’t just about buying real estate. It was about finding a natural setting that would sustain the lifestyle that human beings are supernaturally designed to live—one that connects us to God, to nature, and to each other.

3 – Searching for Land

After several years of learning from Caritas, we continued searching for property in Grass Valley, while praying with the Ettlins (and others too) about buying land together in order to live in a communal way. So with renewed vigor, we engaged a few realtors and proceeded to visit every listed property in Nevada County and beyond. We were looking for land that settled at the end of the road for privacy, that extended both local and distant views for a majestic scale, that contained a variety of natural habitats for wildlife diversity, and that flowed with plenty of water in various sources, just in case we ever wanted to ‘farm’ a little.

By now, my little family and I had already been searching for land for over three years and yet we still didn’t find that serene place that would be conducive to living in peace and sharing it with others. So I spoke with our two most aggressive realtors and asked them to start knocking on doors and turning over rocks to find this special property for us. A few weeks later, one of them contacted me about an expired listing that she had discovered. As she began to describe this large parcel of land at the end of Bear Hollow Road, with gentle rolling topography and a year round creek, I found myself very emotionally engaged, with a sense of interior enthusiasm that was impatient with anticipation.

So I scheduled a time to meet the owner of the property on the upcoming Friday. But as the big day approached, I felt more and more anxiety because of a financial impediment that hung around my neck like a heavy chain. There was some unfinished building business from my time overseas that hung in the balance of attorneys, consultants, and government agencies. So the more excited I got about the possible property, the more anxiety I felt because I just knew in my heart that God would not want me to proceed with this new endeavor until the old business was closed. But this old business had already been going on for several years and had no timeline or anticipated closing date. So I found myself with so much emotional distraction that in order to remain calm and rational, I was forced to surrender everything to God in His benevolent will.

On that following Thursday evening, just minutes after my prayerful surrender, the realtor called and said that because of heavy rains, the new property meeting was rescheduled to Monday. Over the next few days, I felt confident that we were about to see a very special property, yet I remained perplexed with the impossibility of purchasing it. So after the next three days of continuing mental undulations of excitement vs. surrender, that Sunday, after returning home from Mass, I needed once again to let go of my own objectives and simply trust in God, humbly surrendering to His will. Within minutes of that spiritual release, a postal worker stopped by with a package addressed to me from Guam. It was a nice, thick, flat package that came from my attorney with the following beautiful words written on the cover page, “Sign where indicated with a notary public and send back to me done!”

I really couldn’t believe it! God is so good! Even though His ways are challenging, He continually offers us opportunities to decide for His will in faithful surrender. He usually stands us on an emotional tightrope that demands our growth in humility, trust, and surrender; which act as balancing poles that keep us suspended and moving forward in his will. He always rewards our fidelity with peace, and sometimes with material blessings as well. So now in God’s divine will, I was peacefully happy to visit this new property and continue the dream of family life in the countryside. And I was now able to proceed without the prior anxiety of my own ambition.

So that next morning, we enjoyed a family outing while first stopping at a postal service for signatures, notaries, and financial freedom. Then we drove out to the property to meet our realtor and ol’ Bob Reeder. He was a calm, wonderful host who began showing us creeks and waterfalls, hills and woods, meadows and springs, agricultural water-canals, and everything we could ever imagine for the dream of living a simple life in the peace of God, and sharing it with others. And the parcel just so happened to be nestled at the end of the road, sheltered in a private oasis, surrounded by hills, and replete with a wide variety of natural habitat, with extended views across the Sacramento Valley to the Coastal Mountain Range.

As we walked and talked with Mr. Reeder, he shared several facts about the property. It had never been listed for sale before, and he had acquired it from an old friend. He mentioned that he had never intended to sell the property, but now that he was older, he might let it go—but only if he found a family who loved it as much as he did. Soon after that he showed us a waterfall, gracing the moss-covered rocks below it. Filled with wonder for the natural beauty of God’s creation along with a keen knowledge of God’s generosity, I thought to myself, Wow, this is it!

Then, as I glanced up at Mr. Reeder, who was about ten paces ahead, I noticed that little Ty’s hand was clenched around his pinky finger as they walked together. His heart was absolutely melting, and so was mine.

After spending the day with Mr. Reeder, I felt very strongly that the three years of searching were over and that God had shown us the place for Our Lady’s future community. However, Alicia posed the reality-check question, “How do we really know that it’s God’s will?”

So I smiled and replied, “Well, we can only afford half of this property, so if God wants it then He needs to act.” And sure enough, through a series of providential events, we experienced several episodes of Divine Intervention, like watching scenes unfold in a movie.

For three years we had been looking for land, and for three years I had realized that we might not be able to afford the land. So during those years I was considering various scenarios of partnerships or some kind of financial strategy to purchase a property, including asking my brother if he would help. So for three years, I had mentioned to him (many times) what properties I had seen and asked if he was interested in a partnership. And for three years, he would always give me the same one word answer, “No!”

Well, as fate would have it, I was due over his house for dinner that Wednesday evening, after just seeing the property on Monday. And I’m coming unglued with the enthusiasm of telling him about this great property and how perfect it was and how excited I was about it. But I was not about to undergo another rejection, so I had resolved to not say anything about the property. However, as soon as I walked into his house and got settled in the kitchen, the first thing he said to me was, “Hey! How’s that property search coming?”

Well, that really caught me off guard, so I slowed down the moment by asking, “What do you mean?”

And he said, “Well, you know… I’ve been thinking that I might want to go in on that with you as an investment.”

Really! Just like that—I almost fell over right on the spot. So then, I rather casually replied, “Well, yeah… I saw a place on Monday that seemed pretty good.” Meanwhile, inside my body I’m experiencing this tremendous reaction—the kind of surreal encounter with God that we receive when knowing that He is so acutely present with us in that moment.

And sure enough, it was not my imagination that produced that ‘heightened awareness’ of God’s presence, rather God himself, who was blessing the leap of faith that I was taking in response to His inspirations. Only a few more days passed before my brother and I met together at Bob Reeder’s property. And without delay, my older brother provided the resources we needed to purchase that one hundred and seventy-three acre parcel of land that is now affectionately called, ‘Our Lady’s Ranch’.

My brother has continued to provide financial assistance and advice on this mission for more than twenty-five years, pretty much like that boat captain of my childhood dreams so many years ago. And every time he helps Our Lady’s plan of peace here at Our Lady’s Ranch, I can still hear those villagers shouting with enthusiasm while jumping up and down saying, “Juan Enrique, Juan Enrique!” But maybe it’s all just a random coincidence. Or maybe it’s not—My brother’s name is John Henry (Juan Enrique).

4 – A Divine Blessing

Closing of the real-estate transaction occurred on July 6 of the year 2000. On that day, the land now known as Our Lady’s Ranch transferred from secular ownership to a perpetual dedication and consecration to Jesus Christ through our Blessed Mother, Mary. The transfer of title occurred on the feast day of Saint Maria Goretti, the patroness of the innocence and purity of children. She is a co-foundress, with our Blessed Mother and St. Joseph, in the establishment of this Lifestyle for the Healing and Restoration of Families, which begins in the innocence and purity of all who dwell here, especially the children.

On that memorable day of July 6, 2000, I decided to begin a more formal consecration to Jesus through Mary. So I resolved on that day of Saint Maria Goretti, to say all the mysteries of the rosary in honor of Our Lady, while asking her for protection and direction for the property and my family. Alicia and I started at the entrance to the land, right on the once narrow, gravel roadway, which would become the main entrance to Our Lady’s Ranch.

We prayed the sorrowful mysteries of the rosary there, making a special request that, “All who enter may experience the deep peace that God has planned for all who love Him.” We also reflected on the great journey to the Promised Land, as led by Moses, with the final passage led by Joshua. We considered three significant gifts of the Holy Spirit there—Knowledge, Understanding, and Fortitude. I asked God to grant these virtues to us by giving us the information we needed, by showing us how to use it, and by granting us the strength to move forward regardless of the personal sacrifice required. We then buried three Miraculous Medals at this location; one for the Father, one for the Son, and one for the Holy Spirit.

Then I picked a message from Our Lady’s messages of Medjugorje, which had been a custom whenever in need of guidance and support. I desired to establish that custom for any important decisions for the land, asking Our Lady to guide all developments of her ranch.

So I randomly opened the book and where my pointer finger touched some words I began to read, “…organize a new community based on the messages of Medjugorje.” I was immediately stunned by such a direct statement. I was pleasantly consoled with quiet tears of gratitude because living in some type of intentional Catholic community was ever pressing on my heart. But Alicia responded with skepticism along with a degree of anger because she really didn’t want a community—she was just accommodating my desire. Nevertheless, I continued to read out loud the following words from Our Lady…

“Yes, one must pray. What you are doing pleases me. For the time being keep a very active prayer life and God will then light up the other plans.” (June 7, 1986)

I find it very interesting that many years before, when the founder of Caritas desired to make a special place for Our Lady on his property in Birmingham, Alabama, he asked the visionary, Marija, to present a question to Our Blessed Mother for himself and his family. Our Lady responded to Marija with a direct answer to the founder, which was the same answer that she was now giving me regarding her plans for Our Lady’s Ranch in California. I suppose it would also be her answer to anyone else who is considering the development of a new Catholic Family Homestead Community:

“Yes, one must pray. What you are doing pleases me. For the time being keep a very active prayer life and God will then light up the other plans.” (June 7, 1986)

Alicia’s reaction to the prospect of developing a Catholic neighborhood on the land was quite cynical, so she charismatically told me in her own way that I was nuts. She then stated that I must have known where that message was and that maybe not intentionally, but at least subconsciously, I found that passage for this significant moment. I tried to explain otherwise, but to no avail. So we left it alone and proceeded to the next station—a future pond site just inside the entrance to the land, where we began to pray the joyful mysteries of the rosary.

We reflected on the Water of Life that is Jesus, and considered the spring He places in our hearts, welling up to eternal life. We also meditated on the natural phenomenon of springs, creeks, and rivers that eventually gather together to form one body of water (As all souls eventually gather together to form the Body of Christ). I requested the safety and health of all who would enter the property in the future. Then I prayed to the Holy Spirit to continue to guide this endeavor as we stood quietly in anticipation of the next message of Our Lady.

So I didn’t pick the message this time, because in defending the divine providence of the previous message, I said, “Okay, you’ll just have to pick this one.”

She confidently agreed, received the book, randomly opened it, and began to read, “…organize a new community based on the messages of Medjugorje.” I can’t remember all the details, but I think she dropped the book at that point. God’s presence was so tangibly real to me in that moment that I was overwhelmed by His clear direction and spiritually moved by this divine encounter that inflamed my heart.

So after a little pause to catch my breath, we proceeded toward a place called the ‘Three Pines,’ representing the three kings who traveled from afar to pay homage to Jesus, the High King. We prayed the second joyful mystery there, the Visitation. I asked God for His blessing on all who would come to visit, that they would always feel the presence of Jesus here and honor Him accordingly. And I asked for the grace to be gracious to everyone that God would send here, always displaying the virtues of our Blessed Mother to all those we would serve. I then picked another message and read:

“Dear children, today I invite you to live in humility all the messages which I am giving you. Do not become arrogant living the messages and saying, ‘I am living the messages.’ If you shall bear and live the messages in your heart, everyone will feel it so that words, which serve those who do not obey, will not be necessary. For you, dear children, it is necessary to live and witness by your lives. Thank you for having responded to my call.” (September 20, 1985)

The next station was a field intended for social gatherings and physical recreation and prayed the third joyful mystery there, the Nativity of Jesus. I asked for the rebirth of all who would come here, then randomly picked the following message and read:

“I pray that you pray more strongly for peace and that you become more rooted in faith; that you become unbreakable in your prayer and in your faith.”                 (June 25, 1991)

After walking to a future home site and praying the fourth joyful mystery, the Presentation, we reflected on the necessary strength and endurance of the two pillars of the family, the father and mother. I presented our family to God and then picked a message and read:

“Dear children, today I wish to call on all of you that in the New Year you live the messages which I am giving you. Dear children, you know that for your sake I have remained a long time so I might teach you how to make progress on the way of holiness. Therefore, dear children, pray without ceasing and live the messages that I am giving you for I am doing it with great love toward God and toward you. Thank you for having responded to my call.” (January 1, 1987)

A small hill led to the place of a future guest house and prayed the fifth joyful mystery, Finding Jesus in the Temple. I asked that all who would stay here would find Jesus in their hearts and then randomly picked another message and read:

“Dear children, today I am blessing you and I wish to tell you that I love you and that I urge you to live my messages. Today I am blessing you with the solemn blessing that the Almighty grants me. Thank you for having responded to my call.” (August 15, 1985)

Crossing over the creek brought the procession to ‘Chapel Hill’ and prayed the full Glorious mysteries of the rosary for the resurrection of Jesus to be experienced by all who would enter this property. I also petitioned God for all people to receive an increase of faith in the Real Presence of Jesus in the Holy Eucharist, and for the conversion and perseverance of all people. I then opened the book and read:

“My heart is burning with love for you. For you it is enough to be converted. To ask questions is unimportant. Be converted. Hurry to proclaim it. Tell everyone that it is my wish and that I do not cease repeating it. Be converted. Be converted. It is not difficult for me to suffer for you. I beg you, be converted.” (April 25, 1983)

5 – Discerning God’s Will

Over the course of the next several months, as I prayed and waited for God to “light up the other plans,” I did not just sit idly as if waiting for God to drop a letter out of the sky with detailed instructions of what to do next. And this is a very important distinction to make in discerning God’s will, especially for major life decisions. Yes I prayed and remained attentive to God’s interior movements, but I also actively collected more information, and actively pursued the direction that God had already placed on my heart.

So I prayed as Our Lady asserted, but I also proceeded with the activities and schedules required of any endeavor, according to the teaching of St. Ambrose who directs, “Plan and act as if God is not involved, but accept everything that happens knowing that He is.” I also included humility, trust, and surrender in every activity by physically following the promptings of my heart while continually asking God for direction.

So in the spirit of prayerfully moving forward with action, I began to research all existing Catholic retreat centers and communities in the country. I soon came across a newly formed religious order, The Society of St. John, who had recently purchased a one thousand acre property in Shohola, Pennsylvania. They made a website (probably one of the first) that described their plans to develop the property into an intentional community where residents could walk to daily Mass in the village chapel, which would be located in the center of the development. They intended to create a large neighborhood of homes built around a religious center, modeled after the Benedictine Monasteries that began centuries before. They anticipated a village commerce of artisanship, tradesmanship, and barter among the future residents who would live there.

Well, that was more than enough information for me to purchase a plane ticket to Pennsylvania for that upcoming weekend. And three days later, I was enjoying some tea and muffins with several other people who were all thinking the same thing. There was one couple visiting from Scranton, Pennsylvania; a father/son pair from Atlanta, Georgia; a young family from Tennessee; and another family that was already living on site and working for the organization. There was also a visiting priest from California, and then myself as well.

Of the many lessons God shared with me that weekend, one of the most obvious and striking was that I was not alone in this divine movement of my heart. In fact, I was told that groups from all over the country had been coming to see this property every weekend since they launched the website. The Holy Spirit has been inspiring hearts towards lay Christian communities, simple living techniques, and an agrarian lifestyle for many years now. After all, this visit to Pennsylvania occurred back in the year 2000.

After a full Saturday of meeting people, touring the property, reviewing the vision and spirituality, I prayed for continuing direction from God with guidance through Our Lady. Then after a short night’s rest I rose early, well before dawn, in order to walk outside and pray. On my way out, I spotted the visiting priest from California who seemed to be vesting for Mass, so I asked him about it. He said yes and invited me to join him saying that it wouldn’t be the Latin Mass like we heard the day before. I smiled at his humble statement and chuckled a little bit at this jolly round priest who was more holy in his simplicity than any of the ambitious clerics that hosted us.

During a beautifully reverent Mass, my presiding celebrant, with his congregation of one, actually gave a little homily, which was really wonderful, uplifting, and poignant. And during the homily, I couldn’t help but notice that he seemed familiar to me. So after Mass, I helped him divest and we chatted for a few minutes, starting with the normal curiosity of where we were from. So I said Grass Valley, California, and he said Lodi, California. Then he said that he came to the priesthood as a late vocation after raising four children and the passing of his wife. He then said that he was temporarily stationed at St. Anne’s Parish in Lodi, but looking to serve lay families in some kind of intentional community.

Wow, just then it happened again—that surreal emotional rush of God’s obvious presence in the divine providence that so acutely penetrated my soul. Trying to catch my breath, I gasped out this reply, “St. Anne’s Parish! No wonder why I feel like I know you. That’s my parent’s parish. I’ve been to your Mass and heard you speak before.”

He smiled as we continued to talk, and talk, and talk. There we were, a layman looking for a priest to help start a community, and a priest looking for a lay community to serve. We lived within a two-hour drive from each other, yet God brought us both three thousand miles away to meet. Funny God!

So we exchanged contact numbers and within a week of getting home, we met for lunch in Lodi to discuss logistics and schedules to begin our work together. He had already submitted his request to the bishop to retain his faculties and move to Grass Valley, while waiting for me to introduce him to our pastor at St. Patrick’s, in order to procure all of the necessary approvals of protocol. I mentioned that the ranch wasn’t ready for residents yet, so I couldn’t have him live there by himself, but I knew of a place he might temporarily stay.

In Grass Valley, we were now actively praying weekly with a few other families who were interested in this idea of an intentional Catholic family neighborhood. There were the Ettlins, the Pettinatos, the Hengesbachs, and us, the Zeiters. We enjoyed praying the rosary together, combined with holy discussions and kid’s playtime.

The Hengesbachs lived on a small, two-acre farm with an apartment above the barn. When I asked them if they were interested to have a priest stay in the apartment, they were absolutely delighted. So the following week, after our first meeting in Lodi, I asked this new priest friend of mine to visit us in Grass Valley. After touring the new property, we went to the Hengesbach farm and within an hour, all were in agreement to house this gentle priest. Yet he shocked us all by saying, “Okay, I’ll be back to move in next Wednesday!” And that is how Fr. Bob O’Neil started his new life and ministry in Grass Valley.

When God is involved, it sometimes seems that plans need to wait a long time, in favor of prayer and discernment. But also, when we become ready for His plans—He can then move very quickly. This whole episode of The Society of St. John’s in Pennsylvania, the purchase of Our Lady’s Ranch, and Fr. Bob’s move to Grass Valley, all occurred within two months.

So Fr. Bob moved into the Hengesbach apartment as planned, and received the religious approval to retain his faculties and say daily Mass at that residential location. We gladly joined our prayer partners there for daily Mass, while helping out in the new community garden, and making plans together to move out to the new property of Our Lady’s Ranch. We prayed together, played together, ate together, and discussed community life together for two enjoyable years while I developed the new property, preparing for its eventual settlement.

At this two-year point, I needed to make some critical decisions for the property, so I asked Fr. Bob to have us all pray and decide definitively when we would all move out there. So he informed our little group what was happening and asked everyone to pray earnestly for a week to decide how and when they were going to move.

We all got together the following Sunday with babysitters for the kids, so it was four couples and a priest to discuss the plan. After a short prayer, we proceeded around the circle for each couple to pronounce when they would be moving to the ranch. And I was shocked (to put it mildly).

One by one, each couple said that they would not be moving out to the ranch. And then the clincher occurred—Fr. Bob also said that he would not be moving out to the ranch! If I could have heard God speak to me at that time, His words would have been, “Welcome little one, to just the very beginning of the suffering that is required for any authentic divine enterprise.”

6 – A Full Body Experience

Perplexed and confused, I gathered my emotions together and did exactly what needed to be done—Retreat! So I took some time to quiet my emotions and gather some strength through prayer. Then, after a ‘long time’ of making the adjustment, I booked a flight for my family to go and see Front Royal, Virginia… that next week. Well, when you’re working for God, you’re working—not sitting around licking your wounds.

Front Royal, Virginia, is the home of Christendom College (one of the very few truly Catholic learning centers in the country), St. John’s Catholic Parish (a wonderful example of how Catholic parish family life should be), and the Seaton Home Study headquarters (a traditional Catholic homeschooling curriculum). Front Royal is also home to about fifty large, amazing Catholic families who live in separate dwellings throughout the area, who regularly visit with one another to achieve a strong sense of community together. By large families, I mean five, six, nine, and twelve children in some of these homes. One young family that we met there included six boys all in a row, with one more on the way. We arrived there at the time when we sported four kids, a meager showing of family life in the midst of all these blessed parents.

In the summer of 2003, I flew my family out to Front Royal and stayed at my sister’s house for one month. I wanted to visit long enough to make an honest trial run of how life would look if we were to move there permanently. Suzy and her family had planned a month’s vacation starting the week we arrived, which gave us a unique opportunity to meet the families that attracted us, while attending social events without the prior influence of ‘family friends’.

We enjoyed a wonderful month there, surrounded by good Catholic families in the beautiful natural landscape of Virginia’s Shenandoah Valley. I noticed many differences between this group of people in comparison to other families in regular parishes that I had seen. In addition to the size of the families, they all seemed to witness a sincere desire for holiness. God was clearly first in their lives. They also moved with a certain respect in their relationships, which included working together and supporting one another regularly. They actually shared a list of each other’s occupations so that they offered all professional and tradesman work within their own community of friendships first, before considering secular options. And kid’s activities appeared so easy for them. Younger families homeschooled together in small groups, play days were frequent, and teenagers were free to visit with each other randomly and without worry.

I remember one instance while having dinner at a family’s home when their sixteen-year-old daughter and seventeen-year-old son were walking out the door with guitar in hand and off to the beach for the evening. The parents smiled at them and said, “Make sure to lock the door and turn the lights off when you get home.”

So I asked the father when he thought they would get home, and he replied, “Oh, about one or two?” So then I asked, “Do you mean one or two in the morning?” And he replied, “Yeah, something like that.” And then he continued, “Ah—Do you think I should worry about that? They’re going with Frank’s kids and Pat’s kids—Have you met them yet?”

And actually, I had met these youth of stellar, daily Mass going parents. I then realized what Don was trying to tell me—that he didn’t have anything to worry about in this amazing environment, immersed in a culture of life, as opposed to our secularized culture of death.

Of all the blessings and lessons from this trip to Front Royal, one particular family behavior stood out above the rest. An unexpected, silent family dynamic occurred each time we visited a family’s home. Upon entering the house, all of the family members present would naturally make their way over to greet us near the entry. But next, a rather unusual thing would happen nearly every time. After sitting in the family room with our four children, their whole family would join us as well. I mean the entire family, teenagers included. It was the most surprising thing for me to see, and at the same time so wonderful and peaceful.

Our kids were just little, and not the prime target of a normal teenager’s attention. But these genuine teens were happy to talk to them, while engaging in our adult conversations as well. It was truly remarkable to experience a certain composure and maturity of these young adults that were patient and kind and comfortable with all ages of people. So we took note of this pleasant phenomenon and prayed that God would help our children be like that too. And guess what? Over the next decade, through Our Lady, God taught us how to raise kids like that—healthy, happy, respectful, mature children who developed into well-adjusted young adults.

After those eye-opening experiences, we returned home with a renewed hope for humanity, along with happy and peaceful hearts. I reflected on all of the lessons and prayed within a process of discerning God’s will. Should I move my family to the unstructured, parish-based, Catholic community in Front Royal? Or should we remain in Grass Valley and continue developing the property into an intentional Catholic Family Neighborhood? This discernment was particularly difficult because I was comparing two paths that were equally good, both corresponding to the desire of my heart that God had already placed there in His will.

So this time, I took my time. I prayed and thought and discussed the pros and cons in order to use the intellect God gave me to make decisions. I often hear people say the expression, “We’ll pray about it.” But many times I’ve noticed a subsequent stagnation in their actions displaying an unsure attitude in their hearts. Sometimes good, God-fearing people stop their minds from thinking and their bodies from working as they wait for some kind of sign. But that’s not discernment, it’s simply indecision. This understanding doesn’t mean hurry up and decide, but it usually means that either more information is required for the decision, or spiritual direction could help, or maybe fear is involved.

So I found myself in this difficult crossroads of what to do next? What is God’s will? Sometimes, for difficult decisions like this one, I’ve found discernment to be a ‘full body experience’. Sometimes we need to engage all of God’s gifts and sensitivities to understand His plan for us. First the mind and then the heart, which together form the soul. Which path is the surest way to heaven for my family and me? Which path is the best way for me to help others get to heaven? Which path corresponds best to the desires of my heart? Which path offers the most interior fulfillment? Which path contains the unique combination of enthusiasm and peace? Which path enlivens me to get up in the morning with a sense of wonder, adventure, and hope, while simultaneously generating the peace of God’s loving presence?

After several weeks of praying, thinking, discussing, evaluating options, and receiving counsel, I discerned that moving to Virginia was not God’s plan. Indeed, there were many advantages for us to move, but one prevailing thought kept piercing my side—there was no real ministry needed there. It just seemed like everyone there was doing great and living their faith, and they didn’t really need anything from me or my family. It occurred to me that after the first year of getting settled and meeting people, the adventure would be over and then we would just be in a certain routine that would last for twenty years or so. Now for some people that’s a really good thing! But for me it was not so good—more like complacency.

7 – The Next Adventure

With the decision to remain in Grass Valley came the obvious question: “What do we do with this land?” How can we use our gifts, talents, resources, and experiences for the glory of God and the salvation of souls? My thoughts naturally turned to my primary vocation as a father, coupled with the desire already on my heart: “I’ll continue developing the ranch into a retreat site where I can raise my family in a peaceful way, while helping others find peace too.”

Those thoughts soon transformed into a simplified version which became our family mission statement, To live in peace and share it with others.

“Okay – Let’s live in peace and share it with others… How do we do that?”

“I don’t know!”

“Maybe we’ll buy a motorhome and travel across the country to check out what retreat sites look like and maybe find some Catholic communities to look at as well. Let’s go out and get some more information!”

“Okay!?”

And that is just what we did. In the fall of 2003, just after Joseph was born, the fifth of seven children, I went out and bought the biggest motorhome I could find. It was forty feet long with four large slide-outs in order to fit as many kids and supplies as possible in order to travel across the country in six month clips at a time.

As the winter of 2004 approached, we set out on a southeasterly route to remain in the warmest possible climate. I had called several retreat centers and a few monasteries as well, but to my surprise, none of them were very receptive. One kind monk seemed very welcoming to allow us to park our motorhome on the grounds of his Benedictine Monastery. But he quickly retracted his hospitality upon hearing that we were bringing along five young children, ages seven, six, four, three, two, and an infant. Somehow, that poor monk just couldn’t picture us joining them for quiet prayers, meals, and meditations.

Nevertheless, we packed up and headed out on our first RV cross-country adventure that would eventually include driving all the way to Florida and back. We first headed down to southern California to visit a retreat site, but they turned us away because of ‘liability’ reasons. We then drove to Arizona to view a different retreat center, but they were beginning a silent weekend retreat for singles that couldn’t co-exist with a large family at that time. So we moved along toward a monastery in New Mexico, but upon our arrival, the interim abbot immediately said, “No way.”

Well, we handled the first few rejections patiently, but were now getting frustrated. Yet, we continued along in good faith, hoping to find some hospitality in Texas. When arriving in San Antonio, I decided to change the strategy and just find a simple campground to stay at for a few days and re-evaluate the reality of our objectives.

So I located the nearest KOA Campground and breathed relief as we pulled into this familiar site of motorhome travelers. We had been on the road for two weeks without any real comfort or security, so upon driving into the place at twilight, we were ready for an emotional rest. The receptionist invited us to the campground’s weekly potluck that evening so we quickly got settled, and then walked our five kids into a community room with various shapes and sizes of retired folks who were full-time residents of this location. I didn’t question why no other families or children were present, and didn’t really mind because everyone seemed rather friendly.

But within thirty minutes, dinner was over and the weirdest thing happened. The once nice people became pushy and demanding as if in a hurry. Then, just like an eerie scene from a horror movie, they began flipping over the round dinner tables, converting them into poker tables while a small crew wheeled in a large bar counter, replete with Jack Daniel’s Whiskey, Smirnoff Vodka, and all the popular brands of their elixir.

At first, I couldn’t really process this sudden transformation from sweet old people to vampires from hell. But within ten minutes, the room was filled with cigar and cigarette smoke, loud cursing and swearing, and drinks all-around. Upon gathering my senses, I quickly pulled the kids together and scampered out of there to hunker down in the motorhome with all the doors and windows locked up tight.

Upon traveling halfway across the country, with two weeks of shattered plans and five kids under the age of seven, we were all pretty frazzled. So I slowed everything down and told everyone that we were close to the city of Corpus Christi, and that we would drive there in the morning to spend the day at the beach. After a relatively sleepless night, we all got up with a surprisingly good attitude, ate a little breakfast, and headed off to find the ocean.

8 – Discovering SOLT

A two-hour drive got us into Corpus Christi, along with sighs of relief and pleasant expectation. As we traveled in a southerly direction, I soon spotted a large religious dome to the left side of the freeway. Its striking blue tiles shimmered in the sunlight, revealing a golden star of mosaic tiles embedded in its center. Those shining tiles brought a new hope, just as a lighthouse shines that beacon of hope to weary sailors.

“Hey, that looks like the star of Bethlehem,” I exclaimed, as I swerved over to the right lane in order to catch the exit. I drove off that freeway without any hesitation, in the hope of finally getting to something holy, something reverent, something Catholic. And within two blocks we saw a large sign fastened to the fence of the property with a beautiful image of Our Lady and those glorious letters that read, “S.O.L.T”—The Society of Our Lady of the Most Holy Trinity.

Just as weirdly surreal the scene was from the night before, this scene was peacefully surreal in the sure knowledge that God was guiding us to exactly where He wanted us to be. And sure enough, as we drove in through the main gate, three young gentlemen walked by in religious grey cassocks that swept the grass with each graceful motion.

After finding a place to park the car, we walked up to a convent and were warmly greeted by three female heavenly messengers—one older, dignified woman in a black habit with two energetic young adults wearing grey habits. As we introduced ourselves, still wrapped in a peaceful awe, they happily shared their comforting smiles.

I soon inquired about the dome that we could now see about two hundred yards ahead. And the younger sisters once again smiled while explaining that the large structure was a chapel for perpetual adoration. So I said, “You mean adoration of Jesus… Eucharistic Adoration! Happening now?”

These two sweet postulants couldn’t help but giggle a little as they said, “Yes, would you like us to watch the kids so that you can visit Jesus?” At first thought, I took a step back in hesitation, not wanting to impose a task on these kind ladies. It took a few more minutes of discourse to understand that these sweet sisters were not burdened with the children, rather delighted in the thought of playing with these cheerful little creatures that they had so painfully sacrificed in their lifelong consecration to Jesus—their holy spouse that gives them everything, except their own biologically born children.

So upon the good sisters’ charity and joy, I soon found myself opening the massive bronze doors of this majestic chapel, upon which time I immediately fell to my knees in awestruck reverence of its beauty. The gold-accented altar along with the miraculous presence of Jesus, struck my heart like an arrow of love that flew down from heaven. The peaceful consolation was so tangibly rich that I couldn’t ever doubt the hand of divine providence pointing us towards the next adventure of our spiritual journey.

After a good long time of adoration, I spoke with the chaplain about this place that we had just discovered—SOLT. We had arrived at their headquarters of the western hemisphere, as well as a small Catholic college and seminary. I learned that SOLT is composed of all vocations with three main divisions; priests, sisters, and laity.

I also heard the origins summary of how the founder, Fr. James Flanigan, was once a championship football player for Notre Dame University, before WWII interrupted his studies. Then he served as part of the Navy’s underwater demolition team. God had formed him in such strong team concepts that now he approached missionary work according to the ecclesial team concept of priests, sisters, and laity serving in mission together in unique team arrangements. I have since participated in many SOLT missionary activities and thus directly witnessed the power and joy of apostolic works in this ecclesial team format.

One simple exercise that we were blessed to join was an afternoon visit to a nursing home with all three vocations serving the elderly together. The priest brought communion to all of the Catholics that desired to receive Jesus in the Eucharist. The sisters helped the old folks with their meals, bedside readings, and patient listening. And the families brought their children, who immediately cheered everyone up the instant they arrived. It was truly an amazing testimony toward the diversity of people’s needs, and the effective ministry of an ecclesial team.

Some folks received Jesus in the Eucharist, while others found Him in the sisters’ affectionate care, and still others enjoyed Jesus through the happiness of the children. But regardless of the source of each participant’s grace that day, all encountered the deep love of God according to their own particular need, as ministered to them through the prayer and service of the SOLT ecclesial team.

I soon asked to stay on the SOLT facility for a while, because even though we had originally planned to visit several monasteries and retreat centers, it was now quite obvious that God was providing for all our plans right there with SOLT. I was informed that the best place for us to ‘set up camp’ with the motorhome was at their Ecclesial Team Formation Center, a five acre facility that was in the neighboring town about thirty minutes away.

So I contacted the center’s director, Fr. Glen, and after sharing some information, I asked if we could make an extended visit there with our motorhome. As he considered the SOLT members currently on site, along with their schedule, he decided to let us visit for two weeks, but starting on the following Monday. That news made my heart leap for joy, but more importantly taught me several lessons because of the way he spoke.

There I was in my own head, thinking only of my own objectives, and slightly disappointed that we had to wait for three days. Yet Fr. Glen, with genuine charity, was only thinking of us when he said, “I would like to accommodate you earlier, but everyone is gone this weekend, so we won’t be able to serve you until Monday.” Wow, it struck me back then and convicts me still today, many years later. Did I approach each interaction with the intention of serving, or did I merely desire to accomplish my own objectives?

“Let everything that you do and everybody that you meet be an encounter with God.” (November 20, 1988)

So with great anticipation, Monday finally arrived and so did we, in that forty foot long RV. We pulled into the SOLT property about 11:00 that day, and drove onto a grassy field area that was surrounded by several modular homes and a long, concrete building. This larger structure served as the community commons with a chapel, dining hall, and meeting rooms. As we stepped out of the motorhome, several families, sisters, and even a young deacon began walking over to greet us. And their smiles grew even larger every time another one of the children fell out of the motorhome. I enjoyed a wonderful surprise upon recognizing the three sweet sisters that first greeted us at the SOLT main facility the week before.

Then Father Glen came over and we all talked as if we had already known each other for years. I was so engrossed in his warm demeanor that I didn’t notice our five-year-old son, Zachary, take out a few baseball mitts with a ball and begin playing catch with his new friend, Deacon Zachary. I just smiled and turned back around to speak with Father Glen. But several minutes later, he kept looking over my shoulder and laughing.

When I turned around to view his distraction, I couldn’t help but wonder what God was leading us to. All of our kids were running the bases that our son had also pulled out of the motorhome. And now, not only was Deacon Zachary playing catch, but the two postulant sisters as well. Then our son grabbed a baseball bat as a resident dad and mom and their kids joined in. And all of a sudden, we were all out there playing baseball with priests, sisters, and laity. Wow, it was an amazing introduction to the fullness of life that God has planned for us within the ecclesial body of the church. “For I have come that you may have life, and have it to the full.” (John 10:10)

Many questions surfaced that day that still require some answers… Why are most Catholic vocations isolated from one another? Why don’t we all spend more time together? Actually, why don’t we spend any time at all together? My reaction to these questions is, “Well, let’s change that now! Let’s create opportunities to see each other more often.” How about we build some Catholic Family Ecclesial Homestead Communities!

But for now, getting back to the story at hand would bring us to lunch that Monday at the SOLT Ecclesial Team Formation Center. We first all ate together, and then enjoyed an evening Mass where we all prayed together, and then settled back down to each of our respective dwelling units. Wow—what a day! The next day passed in similar fashion and then the next as well. Each day we spoke more and more to the formation center residents, and each day brought us closer and closer in relationship to one another—kindred spirits. Each day we learned about the SOLT spirituality as we practiced living it throughout our two-week visit. Our time there still remains with me as one of the best two week periods of my entire life.

God had securely planted a seed in my heart that by now was already a young tree, growing daily through my prayers and thoughts, along with all the new information I was receiving through the research and work of our traveling adventure. By now, I knew that I wanted to raise my family in a pastoral country setting, develop that setting into a place where folks could make retreats, and allow other residents to live on site in some form of community arrangement. But I didn’t want to do it alone! I remember thinking quite often back then that I wanted to work with another organization in partnership towards the fruition of this vision. And that was very important to me because in every previous entrepreneurial project, I had to start from scratch by learning and building through the school of hard knocks.

So then I thought, okay hmmm, “What should we do now?” What happens next? I found what I was looking for—Why do we have to leave? Yet with warm hugs and long good-byes we had to drive off, knowing that we would see these new friends again soon. But where would we go until then? SOLT had a convent in New Mexico, a seminary in Colorado, a large mission site in North Dakota, and a retreat center in Florida, among other mission sites as well. Yep, let’s just go around knocking on heaven’s door! But first, let’s go and visit this SOLT lay family community in Covington, Georgia.

As I had asked the good folks at the ecclesial team center about lay Catholic communities, they told me about their experimental lay community in Georgia, along with its SOLT host family, the Georges. So it would be the Georges in Georgia that we were to meet next. Tom and Suzie George and their eight kids were sent to Covington, Georgia to teach and form the ten families living there. Tom and Suzie lived in the neighborhood for one year, informing the good folks about SOLT’s Trinitarian-Marian Spirituality, including the divine reality that everything is gift.

Before battening down the hatches and setting sail for Georgia, I spoke with Tom to make arrangements and immediately experienced, once again, the kindred spirit of a true believer. It was obvious to both of us that God was calling each of us and our families to live in some type of intentional Catholic family community. So then, without any further hesitation, I drove that next one thousand miles as if they were only ten.

Upon arriving in Covington, at the SOLT lay community neighborhood, we were warmly greeted in a relaxed setting. It was a markedly different experience than the greeting at Caritas a few years before. Both groups of people were very warm, friendly and hospitable, but life at Caritas centered around missionary work and a specifically structured prayer schedule, whereas family life at the SOLT neighborhood was more fluid and easy going. I definitely preferred the looser structure of SOLT, but also appreciated having a structured framework of prayer, so I have since found a routine somewhere in the middle of the two.

Well, Tom and I were the same age and we both loved God, our family life, the Church, a rural lifestyle, ranching, and nature. And we both wanted to raise our families within the atmosphere of an intentional Catholic neighborhood. So we talked as much as we could during that first day, and then all through the night; and as much as we could the next day, and then all through the night again and again. It took three full days for us to compare notes, and then three more days after that to spend with our respective families before they cut us off from each other.

Tom just so happened to be the Assistant General Servant to the Laity of SOLT, who worked directly with Fr. Rojer, the General Servant to the Laity (Superior General of the SOLT laity). So naturally, I was seeing God’s handiwork occur throughout these discussions with Tom, who had already been reviewing these lay community concepts with Fr. Rojer. We soon got Fr. Rojer on the phone and agreed to meet in July at the SOLT annual conference, back in Corpus Christi.

Meanwhile, as Tom and I were living on planet Pluto, with all of our human enthusiasm about the future of the entire universe, our families were thoroughly enjoying each other’s company as well. Alicia was relaxed to be camped in a safe, family environment while meeting many new people, and the kids were all happily playing together with others in the neighborhood as well.

I have experienced a common denominator in all of my visits to family communities and gatherings—The kids come alive in joyful interaction with other kids. And at each specific community location, visiting children can’t wait to return for more visits. I have seen this many times with many families, and also with families who have visited here at Our Lady’s Ranch.

A child’s favorite toy, without any doubt, is another child. And at these rural neighborhood locations, there are so many natural outdoor activities and games for the kids to play (with other kids) that they don’t ever want to leave and they can’t wait to come back. I’ve heard several parents ask their children where they want to go for next year’s vacation, Disneyland or community? And without hesitation, with bright-eyed enthusiasm they say community!

“Dear Zeiters – We have enjoyed the beef, eggs, and butter so much! We cannot thank you enough for your wonderful hospitality. The kids ask daily when we get to visit again. Thank you again for your wonderful Christian fellowship.”

In Him, Melissa

Certainly, my kids felt the same way about the Catholic family neighborhood in Covington, Georgia. Yet, once again, it was time to travel onward, so we drove to SOLT’s retreat center in Pensacola, Florida, and then back to Georgia to caravan over to the annual SOLT Assembly in Corpus Christi, Texas. We had embarked on a whirlwind tour that in divine providence, was concentrated within the SOLT religious community with more happy times ahead.

We arrived back at the SOLT headquarters in Corpus Christi, which is actually a former Benedictine Monastery and school, now converted into a SOLT Rectory, Seminary, Convent, Catholic College, and Retreat Center, sprawled out on a forty acre property. But more than anything else, it was the hub of operations and landing site for the amazing group of SOLT missionaries. So as I drove in through those miraculous gates again, I didn’t see just three priests here and a few sisters there. I saw several groups of priests, many seminarians, large gatherings of sisters, and lay families with children—and I saw them everywhere.

It is still one of the most beautiful sites I have ever experienced, and by now I’ve travelled all over the world. Only the scenes of Medjugorje could compare, or maybe for some a World Youth Day is tops. But with my dreams and aspirations of community life, where priests and sisters can interact with children daily—this place was now heaven on earth for me.

The SOLT facilities in Corpus Christi included dorm rooms and a large dining hall, not to mention the large Adoration Chapel, so staying right on campus was possible for most of the attendees, including a few families in trailers and motorhomes. And that seemed funny to me, that for the first time in my life I actually fit in somewhere or somehow! There must have been attending that week about one hundred and twenty priests, about one hundred and thirty sisters, and about one hundred and fifty laity, all missionaries!

It was truly an incredible experience to pray, work, eat, play, and rest with so many God-loving people, while living as neighbors together for the week. And the children thrived in that holy yet playful environment as we expanded our hearts and our minds in the fellowship of God’s army, who were all consecrated within the ministry of Our Lady. After all, SOLT is the Society of Our Lady (of the Most Holy Trinity).

But what about the meeting with Fr. Rojer? Well, we greeted each other early in the week and spent many hours together. He was so prudent, patient, and kind that he sat and listened to my full conversion story, family background, and travel history; all the while peering into my heart to help me discern the movements of God according to my calling. He soon became my spiritual director, and we discussed all aspects of pious family life, my hopes for community life, and my ideas of how to achieve those goals in partnership with SOLT.

I was convinced that SOLT was the vehicle that God had chosen for us to develop a Catholic community in Grass Valley, so I proceeded to cultivate meaningful relationships within the SOLT organization, while studying and practicing the SOLT spirituality. After the immense grace received at the annual SOLT gathering in Texas, we decided to remain at SOLT facilities for as long as possible. So we left their annual assembly full of love and hope.

We were heading to Wyoming next, to spend more time with the George family, while helping them set up a new SOLT lay formation center there. We stopped by our property in Grass Valley to change clothes and re-pack the motorhome for a northern climate, and off we went to Cody, Wyoming. After getting settled, Tom and I continued our conversations about why and how to form lay Catholic neighborhoods. We spoke of many reasons and ideas, including the analysis and recommendations of the Second Vatican Council.

Our discussions often turned to Pope John Paul II’s vision for what he called The New Evangelization, with his emphasis on the role of the laity in renewing the Church. Vatican II had laid the groundwork in documents like Lumen Gentium, which taught that laypeople, “are made sharers in their particular way in the priestly, prophetic, and kingly office of Christ.”

John Paul II built upon this foundation, emphasizing in Christifideles Laici, that the participation of lay faithful in the Church’s mission is “not only useful but absolutely necessary.” I saw my efforts to create a Catholic Family Homestead Community as a response to this call—creating an environment where faith could permeate every aspect of daily life, fostering what the Pope described as A New Springtime of Christianity.

Tom shared how Pope John Paul II had encouraged bishops to be more open to lay initiatives and community formations. We were particularly inspired by the Pope’s support for various lay movements that had emerged during his pontificate—communities where families lived their faith not just on Sundays but in every dimension of life. Our talks affirmed that we weren’t pursuing an isolated experiment, rather participating in a broader renewal within the Church.

After spending the better part of the summer with the George’s in Wyoming, it became decision time again. Do we remain in Wyoming for the next twelve months to participate in a more formal SOLT formation program? Or do we settle on our property in Grass Valley to continue our family life there, while beginning the work of Our Lady’s Ranch?

It was one month before the formation program would start, and we needed to be in California that month anyway, so we settled back into the little Cottage on the ranch and prayed for our discernment of God’s will. Fr. Rojer suggested placing a blessed statue of St. Joseph on the property while asking him for guidance, so that is what I did.

LIFE ON THE RANCH

9 – The Crossroads

Discernment of God’s will seems rather easy when deciding between good and evil, because the differences are very clear, and the decision becomes simply a matter of will power. But when faced with a decision between two goods, especially when pressures of time and other people’s opinions are involved, then discernment becomes more difficult. So how was I to decide God’s will at this particular juncture of our family life? Do we live in Wyoming for the next year and enjoy an edifying formation program with SOLT? Or do we remain in California and enjoy our family life at Our Lady’s Ranch, while developing the property into a SOLT community location and retreat center?

In the process of holy discernment, sometimes we pray and act, and sometimes we pray and wait. I am personally much more comfortable with the pray and act scenario, because discernment is not normally a passive process. God helps those who help themselves, meaning that God guides us through our prayers and actions. We usually need the action for any proper discernment because the activity exposes us to more information and more experience as we analyze the pros and cons with the intelligence that God gave us specifically for that purpose – the purpose to make a decision. And that process guides us in God’s will, as opposed to waiting for a bird to fly out of the sky with a carefully written set of detailed instructions from God. I have seen people wait their entire lives for such letters and guess what—they’re still waiting.

But sometimes, rarely, but sometimes we arrive at a crossroad where we have already researched all the information available, we have prayed and discussed the matter between ourselves, and we have received competent spiritual direction; and yet we are still not convinced of which road to take. Then we must wait for God to act, so we pray and watch; rather we actively pray and we actively watch. We watch for change, doors to open or close, or even small windows that shed more light.

As it was for me then, it should be in almost all cases that actively praying and waiting is not a multi-year pause on God’s plans. God never pauses, it is only we that need to gather ourselves and learn more and/or mature more before continuing on a path that God has already laid out for us. The clarity we receive is usually not crystal, merely some degree of less hazy than usual. This reality ensures that we move forward towards heaven with the revered qualities that are enjoyed most by God and required by Him as well—humility, trust, and surrender. And we look to Our Lady for her example and intercession in this regard.

“Yes, one must pray. What you are doing pleases me. For the time being keep a very active prayer life and God will then light up the other plans.” (June 7, 1986)

So for me at that juncture, what actually happened? How did I know what to do next? How long did it take? How could I be sure? Well, upon arriving back in California and settling into the Cottage at Our Lady’s Ranch—it was definitely God who did something, and it was definitely something significant. It was definitely a change that was obvious, and it happened within the first two weeks of being back in California. God was helping me understand what to do before the decision’s deadline. But what was it?

It was a positive pregnancy test. It wasn’t a letter from God, but it was an act of His that became a deciding factor to remain in California and concentrate our time together as a family, while planning for the construction of a larger home for a growing family of soon to be six children. Sure, we still could have gone to Wyoming for a more formal SOLT lay formation and fellowship. But we received a large extent of SOLT formation already, we had already traveled to almost all of the SOLT locations in the country, and we would still remain a part of SOLT, whether living in California or Wyoming. So how did I discern California?

First, it was the most simple and peaceful solution. Second, it concentrated my efforts towards my own family’s needs—my primary vocation. Third, it felt more like we would be living our life instead of doing something to prepare ourselves to start living it someday in the future. And fourth, the decision was analyzed, reviewed, and ratified by my spiritual director; not in a way that he made the decision for me, but in a way that helped me think through the decision from a heavenly perspective, so that I could more confidently decide by myself.

His questions went like this: Which path more fully correlates to your primary vocation? Which path most securely helps you and your children get to heaven? Which path most effectively helps others get to heaven? Which path is more fulfilling and/or life giving? Which path is more adventurous while simultaneously being more peaceful? Which path is healthier for your mind, body, and soul? Which path utilizes your gifts, talents, and resources for the ‘Glory of God and the Salvation of Souls?’ Which path fills your heart and mind with God’s fulfillment and peace?

And there you go! That is the path of God’s will because that is the life He wants for us—one that is filled with His love, peace, and joy—starting right now on earth and continuing into eternal life. So yes, by all means, start living in heaven now on earth. “Your kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” (Matthew 6:10)

I had placed a small statue of St. Joseph on the building site of the future house as I asked for his intercession to make God’s holy will clear. As I discerned to remain in California, I also decided that it was time to start planning and building a long-term family home. After drawing up house plans and obtaining the required building permits, I organized a ground-breaking ceremony with our pastor so that every building project on the ranch would begin with a prayerful consecration to God through Our Lady, the Queen of Peace.

As I built the house, I continued to consecrate my family plans and my entire life to God. I placed several baskets full of broken rosaries and blessed objects into the foundation of the house. And during the framing stage, I wrote our family’s favorite scriptural quotes throughout the wooden structure, including the passage from Joshua that reads, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” (Joshua 24:15)

10 – Working Together

Building the family home together was a wonderful family experience. We lived a stone’s throw from the construction site, so I could simply walk over each day to monitor the progress while doing some of the work myself as well. I even bought a few kid-sized tool belts and worked with Ty and Zach who were by now, nine and seven years old. The parent-child bonding that occurred while working together with my own children amazed me. And that theme of working together as a family has continued throughout our lives. Combined with praying together, eating together, playing together, and resting together; working together seems to add a sort of impermeable glue that cements the other four components together.

These acts of unity form life-long bonds that imbue mutual respect with a sense of belonging and purpose that just can’t be fully achieved without the benefit of working together. Working together as a family begins with setting visual goals together, then deciding together how to best accomplish those goals, then moving together as a team to accomplish those goals (with all ages), and then finally—celebrating together upon the completion of those goals.

I remember one particular project that we accomplished together at that time, and still to this day as we recall the experience, we all smile and nod with a common ‘knowing’ as we remember the special joy of that family teamwork. It was in the fall of 2009, and the seven kids’ ages ranged from two to twelve. Somehow they started talking together about an early memory they had of splitting and selling firewood. And as the older kids began explaining this project we had done years before, the younger ones asked if we could do it again.

This request occurred at a time when I was quite busy with other projects, and also planning a Thanksgiving vacation to drive the motorhome to San Diego to visit relatives there. So I first rejected the firewood idea as I thought to myself, “Wow, that’s a lot of extra work right now for a few hundred bucks.” But a few days later the kids asked about it again, and then the following day after that, they raised the subject again. So finally, I said, “Okay, but let’s analyze it first and then make a decision together,” and we all agreed.

So we pulled up the local newspaper’s online classified ads and found a few firewood advertisements in the customary two-line format. Oak firewood for sale at $300/cord… Call this number. Well, the last time I had checked, the rate was $200/cord, so seeing the new price along with the hungry faces of my children, I exclaimed, “Okay, you’re on!” Then I said, “Well, we have three weeks until our motorhome trip so let’s make enough money for our vacation.”

As they all agreed, one by one, we began the planning process. I had them all sitting around me at the kitchen table, huddled around a yellow-lined paper with a pen in my hand that would document our thoughts and organize them into a plan. It strikes me now how that was the first time we had all sat down together to plan a project by analyzing the situation or problem, evaluating possible solutions, choosing the best option, and then setting goals and timelines to accomplish our objectives. This simple exercise has since occurred for all of us so many times over the years, that it has become a very natural, instinctive habit for all of the children.

What began around the kitchen table with them at ages two to twelve now continues for each important decision we make together at ages eighteen to twenty-eight. We have since reviewed family business decisions with a white-board directors type setting, and sometimes in a less formal environment, like on the tailgate of a pickup truck. Sometimes this exercise occurs with all of us and sometimes just a few. But always, this joint decision making process begins with prayer and finishes with clear objectives along with the most important life-building elements of all—a very real sense of belonging and purpose for each family member!

But what about the firewood? Well, as we discussed the idea around the dining room table back then, I included a little math quiz within our discussion. I said, “Okay gang, if we’re going to consider a business venture, let’s start with the numbers.” Then I continued, “If our vacation is going to cost $1,500, and each cord of firewood brings in $300, then how many cords of firewood do we need to sell and deliver?”

The older kids got it pretty quickly of course, and yelled out, “Five cords.” And I replied with, “Right—good job, but that’s wrong!” With confused looks, they all, in their own puzzled way, asked what I meant. How could that be wrong? “Well,” I said, “I always seem to need more than I think at first, and we have some costs to pay in order to cut, sell, and deliver the firewood.” Boom! Huge lessons right from the start, and understandable to all, right down to the little ones.

So then we listed out our expected expenses and decided to sell six cords of firewood for a gross revenue of $1,800. We next considered how much money we would actually need for our vacation, so together we made our first ‘Budget.’ After balancing the revenue/expense columns of our financial projections, I couldn’t help but mention a few important concepts about basic economics that most people don’t seem to consider in their own family budget. Sometimes we spend more money than we should, and sometimes we spend more money than we have. So I relished this opportunity for homeschool in action.

Anyways, next it was time to consider advertising—the first line item in our expense column. We wrote the ad in a few minutes, but talked about advertising and marketing for about ten. The kids naturally got pretty excited about getting that ad in the newspaper, but I said, “Whoa, not yet. We better split some wood and get some cords ready because when someone makes an order, they’re going to want quick service.” So of course, the next fifteen minutes of our conversation was all about customer service.

It was about that time when the kid’s energy began boiling over. If I didn’t get them outside to start right away then our furniture would have become the firewood. So everyone changed into our lumberjack clothes, put on our work boots, and skipped on down to the tool shed where everyone helped—this was a family project with plenty of work for all ages. After we felled our first tree, the big kids loaded up the large pieces of wood while the younger ones collected kindling. And after I cut all the outer branches off the main trunk, everyone had to stop and play on the natural ‘jungle gym’ that lay before us. I think they could have climbed around on that thing for hours, but it was now time for the angelus prayer and lunch. After lunch, I kind of thought they’d want to do something else, but no way! Those little rascals had the vision of our first goal—stacking two cords of firewood so that we could put that ad in the paper.

So we all went back outside with two kids operating the hydraulic wood splitter, two kids stacking wood for one cord and two kids stacking wood on another, while Mariana and I stretched out a tape measure to check the amount of wood. “How close are we dad?” became the repeated question, which made me laugh… “Are we there yet? How much longer?”

Well we were pretty close to the 4 foot wide x 8 foot long x 4 foot high stack that equals a full cord, when one of the kids asked if that was enough. So I explained to the kids that most firewood sellers don’t give their customers an honest cord because no one really measures it exactly anyways. But then the obvious lesson came to mind, “Okay kids—What would Jesus do?” As those fourteen curious eyes looked up at me with complete attention, I took the perfect opportunity to explain, with an indelible real life situation, the eternal words of God with respect to the generosity of our service to one another, “Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap.” (Luke 6:38)

Of all the times I had previously read the Bible to the kids (five days a week for the previous seven years), I never had a more visual example of Jesus’ teachings. Little did I realize then, that many more real-life examples would follow as we began building a farm and farming business together. Yet, here we were at the beginning of God’s plan for us, and firewood, sales, and making a profit were the tasks at hand. So we stacked more wood until it pressed a little over the required dimensions and then celebrated with high fives and smiles all around.

Upon entering back into the house, we were all jubilant as we entered in our two-line ad for firewood, and yet another amazing lesson arose—more of the kind that you just can’t teach. All the kids were tired and hungry, yet feeling great! They almost didn’t understand this new sensation until I explained to them the satisfaction and fulfillment one receives from an honest day’s work. Dinner that night seemed to taste better than any other meal they had ever eaten before, our prayers that night were very peaceful, and our sleep that night was serenely restful. Amazing—absolutely amazing the extent of life and life’s lessons that were contained in that one simple project, and still more…

The next morning, as we assembled in the kitchen for some tea and breakfast, the phone began to ring and immediately the kids jumped up and said, “Firewood dad – firewood.” But I calmed them down thinking, “Nah, couldn’t be, not right away like this!” But sure enough—customer number one was calling for cord number one. So we set up the delivery for that same afternoon and that’s how it went for the next two weeks. It was the smoothest business operation I had ever seen, and still to this day. It was ‘kid-power’ at its finest. Each sale went along with nice and happy, cash-paying customers until cord number five when something very unusual happened.

This particular sale required us to deliver the firewood up the mountain to Mr. Jim. You see, Mr. Jim was one of those old mountain codger types that just wanted to be left alone and preferred to frown by himself rather than smile with people. So as we drove up to his place with our big family Suburban, pulling a trailer full of firewood, he watched intently as seven little kids in single-file followed me up to his front door.

He cracked the door open with a rather cold snarl and uttered a few grunts while pointing his finger towards an open area next to a fence. Noticing heaps of discarded metal and rock surrounding this spot, I figured that’s where he wanted us to pile up his firewood. We parked our car and trailer a short ways away from the desired location, and then began moving the firewood in various styles of efficiency.

First we tried the old fireman method of passing the water buckets from one person to the next along a line until the last person dumps it on the fire, or in this case on the wood pile. Then, after a while we formed little groups. The younger kids began loading up lengths of wood across the older kids’ open arms who would then walk over to our growing stack and drop them off.

As all this activity was happening in front of the old man’s house, I would periodically glance over at the large plate of glass that was his living room window. And each time I looked, there he was standing with his arms crossed looking back at me. I wasn’t quite sure what to think of this guy, scowl and all, so when he moved through his front door and started walking towards us, my first guess was that he would be telling us to move the pile of wood. But he didn’t say that. Actually, he didn’t say anything at all. He just stood there watching the kids—staring at them while marveling over this unusual sight that was so new to his world.

He really appeared to be somewhat awestruck with this whole family scene of kids helping other kids while working together to accomplish their goal. Here’s this large family that is not arguing or teasing, just simply moving in unison like a well-oiled machine, with the peace and joy of God fully present in all their little faces. I think it was Mariana who finally broke him down all the way. I mean, it was slowly coming on to him from the moment we arrived, just seeing those seven beautiful children hopping out of the Suburban one by one.

But by now, he was fully melting down with miraculous tears gently rolling down his scratchy, wrinkled cheeks. He turned to me with newly softened eyes and a slight lift of his eyebrows as if to ask if he could approach the children. As I gave a slight nod of approval, he began with our two year old who hugged his leg, and slowly, he moved from one kid to the next complimenting each of them in a different way while hugging each one. That poor guy might not have received any human contact since his wife died years before.

We had God’s life and peace to share, and it came to that old man’s house that day. And that day we fully lived our family mission, to live in peace and share it with others, and I certainly pointed that out to the kids while driving home so they could learn from it. Yet, it became obvious to me that I had learned the most that day, at a place and with a person that I never would have expected. “If you are too busy judging someone, you don’t have time to love them.” (Saint Teresa of Calcutta). And St. Teresa also taught, “If you see someone without a smile, give them yours.”

So we just kept on smiling as we kept on splitting, stacking, and delivering firewood. It didn’t take us long to make our eighteen hundred dollars (less expenses of course), and we were ready for a vacation, cash in hand. And now, the fruit of more lessons was ripe for the picking. As we set off for our motorhome trip together, I showed the kids the bundle of cash they had earned and then drove home the point that we work first to make the money before we spend it. We don’t use credit cards as small loans that we dish out and then have to work to pay back with interest, rather we make the money first. And then we don’t spend it all at once. We first save some of it, then share some of it, and then spend some of it—always thanking God for the gift.

But then another unexpected benefit occurred. As we made financial decisions along our vacation, we all made the decisions together. And the kids, now realizing the value of money, relative to how hard they had worked for it, made prudent decisions on which restaurants and what activities we chose. And also, they maintained a keen awareness of their sense of belonging and purpose within our family unit – The team.

All these firewood lessons about hard work, honest measurement, and finding joy in service were quietly preparing us for a much bigger mission ahead. As the embers of our family business experience faded into memory, God was already kindling a new fire—a connection with a very special priest who would finally illuminate the path toward my dream of a Catholic Family Homestead Community.

11 – Community or Death

Throughout this period of family learning and growth, I had continued to stay in contact with our favorite SOLT friends, and often visited with them at the annual assembly in Corpus Christi, Texas. We also attended SOLT retreats and received SOLT priests for extended visits at Our Lady’s Ranch. I continued to discuss lay community life with the SOLT superiors, which often made it seem like a new Catholic Family Community at Our Lady’s Ranch was right around the corner. I continually lived with much enthusiasm and expectation for this dream that was my vocation within my vocation, ‘a calling within the call.’

There was just one thing that started bothering me about the SOLT meetings. It wasn’t the spirituality or the people, for that was all amazing and continually fruitful. What made me begin to wonder if anything significant with SOLT would ever occur was that as my meetings with the SOLT superiors evolved, those leaders became more and more curious for me to explain the vision in further detail.

The internal cautions that developed in me were not because of my explanations, but because I thought they were the ones who should be explaining it to me. It eventually became clear that I was the one with the most enthusiasm and divine insight about lay communities in the room. It wasn’t about holiness, for these priests and sisters and lay leaders were all my mentors in the spiritual life and are all truly amazing people. But God doesn’t always choose the holiest people or the most technically qualified people to lead His missions. “God’s ways are not our ways.” (Isaiah 55:8-9) So I didn’t realize until later that when God put His will on my heart to live in an intentional lay Catholic Family Community, that I was the one who He was asking to lead it.

Shortly thereafter, I attended a large SOLT assembly at a time when I was really moved to get this new California community started. So in prayer and through prayer I spoke with the new SOLT leadership, with people who I knew and respected, yet different than all those with whom I had previously spoken. Somehow, I had that same feeling that I had so many years before when it was time to make a decision. And now, there I was in a very similar situation, in conference with the three main SOLT superiors—the leadership of the priests, sisters, and laity. And one by one they rejected the idea of moving forward, all with their own legitimate reasons, yet each one became another spear thrust into my heart in another devastating trial of perseverance.

“Blessed are they who have kept the word with a generous heart and yield a harvest through perseverance.” (Luke 8:15)

Fortunately, they were all very respectful and they all loved my family very much. Yet even more importantly, the beautiful SOLT Adoration Chapel was only a few hundred steps away. So I went there immediately. And there I sat and sat and sat. And there I prayed and prayed and prayed. But the words of my prayer were not the kind that I could say around children. Those initial words reflected the frustration and confusion that perplexed my mind and heart. Why would God place a vision so strongly in my soul without providing a path for its fulfillment?

Well, the answer (that I didn’t fully realize at the time) was that He absolutely wouldn’t do that. So then I needed to re-evaluate if the vision of a Catholic Family Community was really from God, or merely from my own personal desires stemming from my own hidden ambitions. In that significant moment, in front of Jesus in His real presence in the Eucharist, throughout many hours of quiet prayer and reflection, it once again became crystal clear to me. Through the strength of Jesus in the Holy Eucharist, my new mantra became, “Community or Death.”

Upon leaving that wonderful time of bright light in the Adoration Chapel, I walked outside into the lesser light of the sun. As I moved into the courtyard, I was greeted by a SOLT priest-friend who mentioned to me these words of consolation, “You know,” he said, “Whenever God closes a door, He opens up a window.” And then he continued, “Have you met Fr. Pinto yet? Do you know of his work with the DJM’s (The Disciples of Jesus and Mary)?”

And yes, I had met Fr. Pinto of SOLT, and I had heard some stories of his missionary work with the DJM’s. But what I hadn’t heard before was that Fr. Pinto was a very intuitive mystic who was also very kind towards children and very passionate about the formation of the laity. I also didn’t know that he lived in New Mexico at one of the SOLT properties, used as the formation center for the sister novices and postulants. And by now, I knew very well the SOLT Sisters’ General Servant (Superior) and the dynamic nun who was the formation director of their facility in New Mexico. So after one short phone call that afternoon, we pulled the motorhome together and set out for New Mexico to meet Fr. Pinto.

We arrived in Holman, New Mexico on the next day, just in time for their community Mass, followed by dinner. If there ever was such a thing as perfect timing, that was it because Fr. Pinto was the celebrant offering Mass that afternoon. He warmly greeted us after Mass and then sat with us at dinner to get more acquainted. Later that night, after settling the kids down for bed in the motorhome, I met with Fr. Pinto and asked him a few questions about his vision for the DJM’s and specifically if some form of ‘Catholic Neighborhood Communities’ were part of the vision. And with his positive, clear, and forthright answers came that familiar, surreal feeling that God was fully present in that moment. A peaceful wave of goosebumps and interior joy gripped my whole being as Fr. Pinto explained to me (in his unique, mystical way) the realities of lay community life that occur in heaven and our calling to emulate them here on earth. So by the time I was ready to ask more detailed questions, none of them were necessary. He had already answered all of my questions without me asking them.

And he did another amazing thing that night throughout our two-hour conversation. He made heaven tangibly present to me in a very real way because of the very real way he spoke about it. Every sentence or two that he spoke contained in it a reference to a saint who showed him a scene in heaven, or an experience he received from God, or an angel who shared a vision. It was quite remarkable and became the hallmark of all our future discussions. Our long talks were always a great joy for me, not only because we spoke about my favorite subject, Catholic Family Communities, but because of his style of conversation that framed our discussions within a heavenly perspective. Fr. Pinto always brought heaven to earth in a way that demonstrated the unity of heaven and earth without any spiritual separation.

“The Kingdom of heaven is at hand.” (Matthew 4:17)

Another wonderful thing happened during that first meeting with Fr. Pinto. I gave him a manuscript of the initial founding document for Our Lady’s Ranch. It basically contained our vision and mission as described in our Founding Principles and the Lifestyle components of the work, which are still the same today and available within our formation handbook. At that time, it was about forty pages of writing, so I naturally figured that he would get back to me in the future, if he would even take the time to actually read it.

Well, the next morning he asked to meet with me, and as it turned out, he had read the entire document that previous night, after our meeting. He mentioned several encouraging thoughts and ideas that lifted my spirits about the vision finally becoming a reality. He said that my writings very accurately reflected his own vision of lay community life, and that the ultimate goal of the DJM’s was to form lay Catholic communities throughout the country. Well, that pretty much blew me away! And of course, I immediately remembered the words of my priest friend who had reminded me of that famous rule of discernment, When God closes a door, He opens a window.

It has always struck me how God takes us to the edge of our will—the edge of our human capacity, before He then intervenes with His mercy and grace. I realize that God acts in this fashion to help us grow in humility, trust, and surrender, but knowing that doesn’t usually make it any easier to grow through the difficulty. Each dramatic problem that we encounter in life requires more and more virtue because out of love for us, God forces us to mature in dependence on Him. And usually this growth occurs against our own will, no matter how far along this journey of love that we have already traveled.

One of the greatest examples of these ways of God (that are not our ways) is in the Old Testament story of Abraham, who after a lifetime of growing in humility, trust, and surrender, finally received the ultimate ‘opportunity for growth’ when he was an old man. Then God said, “Take your son, your only son, whom you love—Isaac—and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on a mountain I will show you.” (Genesis 22:2)

We sometimes use the word trial or test, which are very misleading terms in these cases because God already knows the state of our soul, and certainly more than we do. So these difficult situations that God instigates for our well-being are not tests, rather opportunities for spiritual and emotional growth. When we pass through them successfully, our growth in virtue allows us to receive more physical gifts from God, that He would have otherwise had to hold back because we were not yet ready to receive them (without becoming prideful in the process).

God is extremely generous with His gifts for us (both spiritual gifts and physical gifts), and His greatest desire is to shower these gifts upon us as a waterfall showers the lake below it. But He is so wise and prudent that in His infinite love for us, He will only share these gifts when we are ready to receive them in a healthy, humble way. God loves a cheerful giver because He is the most cheerful giver of all. “The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.” (Job 1:21)

Back to those first few meetings with Fr. Pinto in Holman, New Mexico—I had set camp in the middle of the desert, but now my heart felt like a lush green forest. The good mystic suggested that I begin with the DJM formation, a three year program that I could do from home because the DJM’s currently had a large group in Sacramento, just one hour’s drive from Our Lady’s Ranch in Grass Valley.

He told us to contact Tom and Louis Lahola, the formation leaders of that region. And he also said that he would instruct Tom and Louis to drive to Our Lady’s Ranch from Sacramento on a bi-monthly basis, to personally prepare me in the DJM formation. Great! All filled up with daily Mass, prayer with a holy SOLT community, and the blessings of Fr. Pinto, I drove away from New Mexico with a new enthusiasm, and now with a deeper humility and trust as well. I spoke with Tom and Louis before getting home, and made plans to meet them as soon as I got back.

As I first encountered the DJM formation material, it became the new beginning of my love affair with God and the holy Catholic Church. Each divine teaching built upon the next while receiving an overall understanding of who God is, who I am, and how we relate to one another. We first, through a series of profound introspective questions, discover who God is calling us to be. So then, as we come to know who God is calling us to be, we can begin to discern what God is calling us to do.

The basic premise of the DJM formation program is that what God is calling us to do is already written on our hearts. We just have to slow down and work through the ‘discovery’ of who we are, to then ‘discern’ what we are called to do. And then we enter into ‘discipleship’ with the living Jesus Christ through Mary (The DJM’s—Disciples of Jesus and Mary). The first year of formation is to discover who we are called to be, the second year is intended to help us discern what we are called to do, and in the third year we become disciples of Jesus and Mary.

The DJM foundation for discernment builds upon the understanding that God the Father is our primary formator, and that He has a role for each of us within His plan of salvation for all of us. And everything that has happened to us in our life so far, whether good things or bad things, are all gifts from God that He has allowed to occur in order to form us. Thus we are each formed in a unique way that is specific to each of us so that we can uniquely perform the role that we have in the divine plan of salvation.

So as God forms us for our role, no one else on the planet could perform it as well as we could because God has specifically molded us for that role. We are each like a beautifully colored tile that takes its place in the divine mosaic. And we can’t fully see how we fit into the bigger picture until we take several steps back and view the divine artwork through God’s eyes and with His heavenly perspective.

Another way to visualize this divine phenomenon is to picture each person as a thread that God weaves into the amazing tapestry which is the divine plan of our salvation. It is usually hard (if not impossible) for us to see the beauty of our particular role, because we are usually looking at the tapestry from the back, which frankly just looks like a big mess. But when we enter into a heavenly perspective, we can see our work through God’s eyes and then observe the immense beauty of His wonderful plan for our salvation.

As we move through the DJM formation sequence, we begin to discover who we are and how we fit into God’s plan, which ultimately shores up the most important aspects of our human person: our sense of belonging and our sense of purpose. Then we can more fully respond to God’s call by utilizing all of our gifts, talents, resources, and experiences, for the Glory of God and the Salvation of Souls.

These concepts became clear to me in the first meeting with the Lahola’s, formation specialists. In fact, the formation was so clear and so exciting that I proceeded through the program at an accelerated pace which turned the first two years into one. I enjoyed the material immensely, and thrived in the group meetings that became my candy in the spiritual life, along with the primary source of my spiritual growth and the path of sanctity for my entire family.

The third year of DJM formation (Discipleship) begins a series of nine retreats that are held on a monthly basis. Because of our unique situation, these retreats were held at Our Lady’s Ranch, the proposed future headquarters of the DJM, Catholic Lay Association. I was thrilled to participate in these retreats, and humbled to know that our family was hosting them as well. These ‘nine days of recollection’ included several DJM formators along with a small group of retreatants. The formators also participated in the retreat meditations so that everyone proceeded in the grace of God and the movements of His inspiration. And wow—inspiring it was!

These retreats provided profound spiritual growth and deepened my understanding of God’s plan for my life. The quiet solitude of the ranch became a perfect setting for encountering divine wisdom that would shape me and my family’s journey.

12 – Divine Inspiration

I remember three distinct episodes of divine communication during those special retreat days. And all three divine encounters provided deep learning and deep growth that continues to shape the way I make decisions today. These three ‘messages from above’ all occurred after the initial instructions and meditations of the retreat, when we were directed to go outside to find a quiet place on the ranch to spend three hours in prayerful solitude.

The first of these loud and clear statements from God came on the first day of the DJM retreat cycle. For some reason, that whole preceding week was a big animal week for me, and I was constantly questioning the livestock farming operation with pestering questions that kept coming to my mind and frustrating my attempts at a more focused prayer. How many cows can we maintain here this year? Should we expand our pastureland? Should we buy more cows? Should we change our corrals for the cows? Do we continue breeding cows? Or should we change our operation to just buying calves and growing them up to harvest?

As all these questions surfaced all week, they continued to bother me during this retreat, so I straight away asked Jesus what I should do about the cows and He straight away gave me a very clear answer, “It’s not about the cows.”

Well, as in all divine communication, those words of Jesus spoke volumes to me in many areas of my life (having nothing to do with cows). And Jesus’ words are always alive, so they continue to teach me today with new and expanded meanings, all with the same phrase, “It’s not about the cows!” It’s about your soul! It’s about the kids! It’s about the people you help! It’s about the Church! It’s about love! It’s about so many different people and so many different aspects of life and helping everyone to see and experience heaven – now and forever. It’s about so many things! There’s only one thing that it’s not about… “It’s not about the cows!”

Okay, okay – Got it! Then my prayers that day, for the rest of the day, were very peaceful and without interruption. Thank you God!

The next DJM retreat brought with it another unexpected instruction from God. The meditation that day was about the words of God that bring spirit and truth. So as I walked up the small mountaintop of Our Lady’s Ranch, I began reflecting on how busy I had been the last few months and how all the farm work was really getting in the way of my family life. I wasn’t just thinking about it—I was actually really frustrated because of it.

So I walked up the hillside to find my solitude and solace with God on the hilltop, where I could view out towards the vast Sacramento Valley, with the snow-capped Coastal Mountain Range beyond. But I couldn’t really enjoy God’s company because I was too busy complaining to Him about my busyness. And the more and more I ascended up the mountain, the more and more my mind busied itself with these thoughts of being too busy. By the time I reached the top of the mountain, I didn’t even notice the spectacular view there because my eyes were focused on the dirt below as opposed to the wonder of God’s creation. And my heart was focused on the dirt of my busyness as opposed to the wonder of God’s creation, which was my family.

So quite naturally, at the height of my worldly frustration, I supernaturally asked God for His help. “What’s wrong? What’s wrong? What is wrong!?” And then I added, “I have done everything that you have asked me to do, and God knows, more! And you’re God so you know that I have done more than you have even asked! Why is this so wrong? I’m doing everything for my family, yet I don’t even see my family. My life has become a self-defeating exercise that only goes in circles.”

Well, God let me spin around in my head for a while and He let me vent my frustrations, and then, as soon as I calmed down I asked, “Okay – What?”

Then He said, clear as day, and it was so clear that I still remember it now word for word—”You’re doing the right thing, but you’re doing it in the wrong way!”

Wow! I wanted to reply with something like, “What the hell are you talking about?” But that would have been a bad choice of words. Yet within an instant, before I could actually respond to God, it all became extremely clear to me—like adjusting the focus on a telescope. Within a moment’s flash, a whole book of knowledge and wisdom was infused into my heart. And as I pondered the extensive meaning of those divine words, the majestic view of the mountains beyond became clear, while the miraculous view of my family life now came into focus as well, within the guiding light of God’s wisdom.

You are doing the right thing, but in the wrong way. You are living close to the land; you’re living a simple life; you’re creating an environment that is conducive to prayer; you’re sharing my love with others… But you are doing it alone! What are the kids doing?

What God was really communicating to me in that inspiration was, You are doing the right thing, but now… Do it with your family!

This concept of family work might seem obvious to most people, but in my earlier training of life, dads worked and kids didn’t. Well, that might have been the plan that I had learned, but that wasn’t God’s plan. And besides, for me at the time, the kids were little and everything would take much longer, ‘if I took them with me’. Sure, I had completed several projects with them over the years, but work with them daily? And for my daily work?

So now I could see that at least two huge errors had been clouding my judgment. The first was my own blindness to the purpose of life. What’s most important? Getting the job done, or the way you get the job done? Society pressures us to get the job done now, regardless of who we crush in the process. But God invites us to slow down and enjoy the work, while doing it with others as an expression of love.

The second misconception of our compromised cultural standard is that having kids work is somehow not ethical. However, I have come to realize that not having kids work can be a hidden form of child abuse. And paying kids an allowance usually teaches them entitlement. So God was teaching me a more old-fashioned way of raising kids—to offer them specific tasks for specific pay, just like adults do in the real world. So that’s what I began doing more consistently, and now they have all developed a strong work ethic along with a rather conservative approach to spending money.

Also, after many years of following God’s advice from the mountain top that day, I can add that working with the kids has been the single most gratifying experience of my entire life. Every project we do together is a wonder and a joy because they are each little wonders and joys. And every experience with children is filled with God’s love, even when they make mistakes—especially when they make mistakes (learning opportunities). And watching them grow has become breathtaking as I now watch them teach and supervise our new employees.

Each one of my children has become an inspiration to me and all those who are blessed by their friendship. I have so many stories of people’s reactions when they meet the kids—from firm handshakes to eye contact, and especially the knowledge they share about farming, hunting, cooking, and all aspects of our agrarian family life. When approached by others about their mature behavior, I usually add something like, “Yup, I understand… Those are Grass-Fed Kids! I want to be like them when I grow up!”

The third profound message I received from God through the DJM formation retreats happened again when I least expected it, and yet again during another episode of frustration. By the way, parents call these things ‘temper tantrums’ when they happen to two year-olds. But when they happen to us, we use a more sophisticated name like, ‘episode of frustration.’ So anyways, there I was again at the ranch, walking through a peaceful field during a planned time of peaceful prayer when everything going on in my head was far from peaceful.

My thoughts went something like this, Why is it taking you so long? What are you waiting for? What are you waiting for? Don’t you realize that it’s already been twenty years? What are you waiting for? And really, I wasn’t expecting an answer. But really, I got one right on top of my head. It was a direct hit, like a rock that broke off a cliff and then fell a great height, only to land on top of another rock that was my head. So this was God’s answer, and as usual it came so very loud and clear. Right after I finished the fourth or fifth version of, “What are you waiting for?”

He replied, “I’m waiting for you!”

Oh great! Sarcasm—just what I needed right then. But actually, just like God usually does in His own way, He flooded my heart with understanding, immediately upon the hearing of His words. So before I could scoff at that statement, I knew in my heart that I was not yet ready for the immense degree of blessings and grace that He was planning for me and my family. So once again, God shared with me the one simple sentence that would calm me down and restore my soul to peace.

The divine messages that I received during my retreats now serve as spiritual guidelines: It’s not about the cows, reminds me to focus on souls instead of operations. You’re doing the right thing, but in the wrong way, urges me to center my work around family involvement. And I’m waiting for you, suggests that readiness will come through growth in virtue and additional experience, coupled with prayer and patience.

13 – No One Else Can

Throughout the two-year formation period with the disciples of Jesus and Mary, we were blessed with several ranch visits from Fr. Pinto, who took a special interest in our family because of his love for the children and our unique role in the DJM organization. I thoroughly enjoyed every conversation with him as he continued to bring heaven down to earth, while also prophesying certain aspects of our future in community life. Many of his assertions have already transpired, including the many benefits of the crosses that we planted at all four boundaries of the property. Upon his direction, I designed and fabricated four large metal crosses, each of them standing twenty feet high by seven feet across.

We had several DJM prayer gatherings and work parties at Our Lady’s Ranch in this two-year courtship with the DJM Association. I enjoyed all of them through the deep love and common ideals that we shared with all of the members in the Sacramento chapter, who had now become close friends. One such day of work was organized around the setting of the crosses. I had selected a location for each cross at each boundary line of the ranch, and each of them in highly visible places. I pre-drilled holes in the ground and set out bags of concrete to cement them in the ground for a permanent fit. I also set out small piles of rocks near each cross and had each person say a personal prayer as they selected a rock to place at the bottom of each cross, a tradition that still continues today.

Fr. Pinto came to the ranch on that ‘cross-setting’ day, along with about sixty DJM members. We all prayed and processed around the ranch with singing and happiness as we witnessed Fr. Pinto blessing each cross with holy water along with a long, silent prayer at each location. It was a truly profound experience that was filled with God’s love and peace, along with a certain enthusiasm for everyone who wanted to live at Our Lady’s Ranch in the near future.

The DJM formation program concludes with a graduation of disciples that each write a Plan of Life and receive a personal audience with Fr. Pinto to review the plan in a formal setting of spiritual direction. The purpose of the plan of life is to highlight the key words or phrases that define one’s spirituality with respect to who God is calling him/her to be. Then, whatever God is calling each person to do will always correspond to how God formed him/her to be. After all the time of prayer, self-analysis, and discovery in the grace of God, my life’s formation distilled down to three key words, “Simple, Humble, Gentle.”

That might not sound like much without further explanation, but to me it clarified all of the major decisions of my life. Knowing the backstory of how God formed me, I can now easily identify which decisions in my life were in God’s plan for me, and which ones disrupted God’s plan for me. The whole DJM formation program and related experiences are a tremendous blessing to all those fortunate souls who discover them.

“The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and hid; and from joy over it he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.” (Matthew 13:44)

It was finally time for a meeting to discuss all the details of the DJM Catholic neighborhood community at Our Lady’s Ranch. Finally! After all, I had been waiting for this moment for what felt like all my life. So I drove to Sacramento to meet with the chapter leaders, and all other DJM members who were interested. Pretty much everyone was interested, so pretty much everyone came to this meeting—probably about sixty people, all of whom were active disciples of Jesus and Mary.

We all sat in a large room, and after a short prayer, I just could not believe what came next from each of the DJM leaders. Here we go all over again. I watched the same nightmare unfold with even more emotional investment involved. And one by one, I heard the following comments: “You know, moving forward will mean that no other religious group or parish will be able to hold retreats at Our Lady’s Ranch because it will become exclusive to only DJM activities.”

Then I heard, “Well, regardless of who decides to live there, you realize that all decisions will need to be handled by the Sacramento leadership.”

And then, as if that wasn’t enough, the final blow came next, “Before we can move forward, you’ll need to deed the entire property over to the DJM Organization.”

Wow!!! Really? Again? Okay!!! Okay God – Okay life – Okay, got it! I finally got it! And throughout all that emotional pain, God’s message was finally clear to me—”No one else can!” No other person, no other group, and not even a religious order could fulfill the role that God had assigned to me. They had their respective roles and I had mine. Other groups can form other lay Catholic Communities, but the work of Our Lady’s Ranch is the work that God had given to me, and He will fulfill it through me at the time that He has planned, even before time began.

“Dear children, I want you to comprehend that God has chosen each one of you in order to use you in a great plan for the salvation of mankind. You are not able to comprehend how great your role is in God’s design. Therefore, dear children, pray so that in prayer you may be able to comprehend what God’s plan is in your regard. I am with you in order that you may be able to bring it about in all its fullness. Thank you for having responded to my call.” (January 25, 1987)

After that pivotal meeting with the Disciples of Jesus and Mary, it became clear to me that the vision for Our Lady’s Ranch wasn’t meant to be absorbed into another organization’s structure. It was something distinct, something new. Perhaps this understanding could become the tiny seed of the mustard tree that I had envisioned.

But how should I proceed? It was clear to me that implementation would require a different approach than our initial group of friends in Grass Valley, the Caritas model of Alabama, the attempted community in Pennsylvania by the Society of St. John, the SOLT neighborhood in Georgia, and now the DJM program as well. Each community offered a glimpse of hope, but none of them fully satisfied the most important criteria of parents raising children in a simple, holy way.

14 – Family Friendly Farming

It was now eight years after the purchase of Our Lady’s Ranch, and twenty years after that airline magazine article first showed me a glimpse of God’s plan for me and my future family. It was always about faith and family; and now during this period, it still was about faith and family!

Thus the first tentative steps toward creating a Catholic Family Homestead Community began with small initiatives born from the desire for a healthy family life. The direction I needed had to answer the primary question, “What is the most secure path to heaven for myself, my wife, and my family?” The solution wasn’t hiding in our modern culture, rather in the way of life that God Himself was showing me through Our Lady. So I focused even more intently on Our Lady’s central message, creating an environment conducive to the prayer and love she requests in her messages of Medjugorje:

“Little children, I desire that through your lives you are witnesses, that you are my extended hands, my instruments. Get as many hearts as you can close to my heart and lead them to God, to A Way of Salvation.” (May 31, 1995)

So I proceeded to raise the children according to the teachings of the Church along with the teachings of Our Lady’s messages in her School of Holiness.

I increased the family prayer time together along with my new focus on the family. I also increased the family work time by expanding the vegetable garden, adding more livestock, and involving the children more intentionally in daily farming chores and projects. Rather than working in isolation while the children played, I incorporated them into the work, transforming ordinary tasks into opportunities for formation and bonding.

As these changes unfolded, I noticed a shift in visitor interest. The formal retreat programs we had originally hosted gave way to something more organic. People started visiting more often to see this family homesteading lifestyle they had heard about—homeschooling, farming, healthy food, and outdoor recreation; all the while integrating family prayer into daily routines. Without consciously changing course, we began hosting informal farm tours rather than structured spiritual retreats.

Almost imperceptibly, my understanding of ministry had transformed. Instead of teaching about Catholic doctrine through formal conferences, we were living a Christian lifestyle and inviting others to participate in our daily routines. The homestead itself had become the retreat, and our family’s integrated lifestyle the most powerful testimony. We weren’t just talking about A Way of Salvation—we were living it while making it accessible to others.

This realization led me to embrace commercial-scale farming as the next phase of the mission. Throughout this journey, I had developed the ranch with three clear intentions. My first priority was to create a prayerful, nurturing place to raise children. My second goal was to develop a retreat site where people could escape the noise of modern life and encounter God in the quiet. And thirdly, I strongly desired to build an intentional Catholic family community that would support and inspire others. These three visions worked in harmony, with farming emerging naturally as the perfect vehicle to bring them all together.

We continued holding small retreats and prayerful gatherings at Our Lady’s Ranch, along with this new program that occurred as we started farming at a larger scale. I would have never guessed this new flood of people who desired to visit Our Lady’s Ranch. These were people of all different ages, cultures, and religions who all had one primary, important thing in common—food. Hence came, without expectation or even any warning, the new mode of our retreats, The Farm Tour. We received baseball teams, Cub Scout troops, third grade classes, and the most predominant of all, homeschool co-op groups.

I loved it! It was really exciting because of the unexpected opportunity of sharing our faith in a less formal setting, and with groups of less formal training. Our family farm became a place where visitors became fully present and receptive. I have always thought that in order for people to really encounter God, they must temporarily escape their normal routine and find a place that captures their attention. And as it turns out, people are really interested in this family farming, homesteading way of life.

They are also very interested in where their food comes from and how it is grown. So each farm tour that arises, whether with as many as one hundred people or as few as five—everyone is very attentive and fully engaged. So I can walk around the ranch with these folks in a very unique setting where they truly are a captive audience. And the way we grow the livestock is all centered in God’s natural creation, and we do all the farm work as a family, so in almost every sentence of these farm tours, there is something I reference back to faith and family.

And then, usually as we are walking around, somewhere in between the cows and the pigs, or the sheep and the chickens, or anywhere in between—the prayer bells ring and I stop talking and everyone just stops. They have already stopped their daily routines for this farm tour, and now they have stopped moving their bodies. And once they have stopped their kids from talking, they simply enter into the silence of nature and prayer.

Now I don’t, all of a sudden, fall to my knees and force everyone into a decade of the rosary with me. After all, these are people of all faiths, and usually several who are new agers, and even some atheists. So not everyone will understand our Catholic teachings, but everyone does understand nature, and everyone understands healthy food. So after a little silence, when the bells finish the lovely tune, I simply connect the dots for our visitors with nature, creation, a sustainable lifestyle, and the health and wellness of our humanity—spiritually, physically, intellectually, and emotionally. And that most often brings up so many questions from the visitors that I just answer them with what we do as a family. That way no one is intimidated, and everyone enjoys the answers that are spoken with love, compassion, and peace.

“Pray and by your life witness. Not with words but rather through prayer will you attain what your desire is. Therefore, pray more and live in humility.” (October 6, 1986)

Demonstrating God’s existence, goodness, truth, and beauty is actually quite easy to do within a farm tour setting, starting with our family agrarian lifestyle. The sight of caring parents who integrate prayer, homeschooling, health, and farm work into their daily family life is a powerful witness to everyone who experiences it, even if it’s only during a short visit. And it is especially moving when visitors participate in the homesteading lifestyle for the full day, yet a full weekend is even better. Sharing our family values uplifts us in our own lives too, especially in the children who learn to appreciate this wholesome way of life as they hear the compliments of the visitors.

Another wonderful family activity occurred during this period of developing an agrarian lifestyle—Farmers’ Markets. I had heard of farmers’ markets before, but I couldn’t recall ever visiting one. More and more people suggested that I sign up to sell our grass-fed beef there, so I decided to make a full Saturday family outing. We all jumped in the family van for a farm tour of our own—a farmers’ market tour. And we sure enjoyed the wonderful family atmosphere we discovered there. The farmers were all very interesting and happy and colorful, as were all the rich, healthy foods they offered. The market atmosphere included live music, hot food, and even a few activities for the kids. And as it turned out, the market manager was looking for a vendor for grass-fed beef.

Within two weeks, I secured our county approvals and the next Saturday after that, there we came—A new farming family on the scene with seven Catholic kids, ready to live that witness out in the public square. We set up a double-sized sales booth with a giant sign that read, Family Friendly Farms at Our Lady’s Ranch. We included a barbeque for product samples that sent out a smoke signal of mouth-watering appetizers. And with seven kids in the booth, all participating in one way or another, the full advertisement of ‘family’ was on display for all who came our way. I never tried to follow any ‘politically correct’ practices, rather just relished the unique opportunity to live our faith in full public view. We even kept a little bowl out front with our favorite souvenirs of Our Lady’s Ranch, which are blessed, Miraculous Medal key chains that we put together two-hundred at a time as a simple way to share our faith with others.

In addition to providing an exceptional venue to witness our faith, the farmers’ market also generated income, while allowing the kids many opportunities to learn about sales, marketing, business, and people. The kids were in charge of the whole operation, with me around to help them learn the financial and spiritual lessons that filled our Saturdays throughout each summer. We set goals together and we worked together to accomplish those goals. And then we evaluated our performance together with not only the tangible realities of business, but also according to our primary objectives of teamwork, maturity, and virtue.

I’ll never forget one such family meeting when Christia, who was twelve at the time, said about her younger brother who was nine, “Wow, good job Joseph! You really stepped up for us this year—Made a big impact—Good job!”

And I remember hundreds of examples like that where team spirit was family spirit that made life-long bonds in the kids, while providing the necessary foundation for their human dignity—a strong sense of belonging and purpose.

When Ali was just ten years old, it was her turn to help me manage the farmers market sales booth. She began as the most shy of all the kids, and therefore started well behind the display tables, somewhat hidden behind our big sign. At first she simply helped me pull cuts and bag the meat, making sure to stay out of each customer’s line of sight. She had already known about our products, and even how to cook them, but still wasn’t confident enough about explaining them to strangers. But after just two Saturdays, her curiosity and desire to help overcame her hesitation.

So on that third Saturday, when a small line formed in front of our booth, she didn’t even wait for me to ask, but jumped in and helped the next customer with some meat that became their dinner that night. She had watched me for long enough, even though it was only two times, and then she greeted the customers, answered their questions, received their money, gave them change, and sent them off smiling. And of course the biggest smile of that moment was mine.

Then she proceeded to work the sales booth with me for that entire summer, and by the time we were half-way through, she was thriving in her outgoing, generous personality. Several years later she started a coffee and breakfast booth of her own. She learned about the financial responsibilities and personal discipline necessary to start a business, purchase and resell goods, set up and clean up a store front, and make a profit while doing it. By the time she was sixteen, Ali became the actual market manager for the entire farmers market… amazing!

Of all the incredible blessings and stories of our family’s era of the farmers market, I suppose my favorite is the time that Mariana, then four years old, set up her own sales table. This little, miniature entrepreneur kept asking and asking to set up her own booth. I was reluctant to split her off from the family team, but then found the perfect opportunity for her one Autumn, as our pear trees became laden with ripe fruit.

Together, one Friday afternoon, little Nina (Mariana) and I brought some baskets out to our small orchard and picked lots of tasty, ripe pears. They were big and juicy, but not quite as big and juicy as the smile on Nina’s face that day. She got even more excited as we folded up her little Dora the Explorer table and chairs. And we arranged for a tablecloth and a little sign so she could be just like the big kids. We even set aside her own scale. After all, the sign read, Bartlett Pears, $3.00/lb.

Then, the big Saturday morning finally arrived. We usually all got up at 5:30 in the morning in order to leave at 6:00, but Nina was awake by 5:00, if she ever slept at all. So we got to the farmers’ market and everyone set up the big booth, while Nina carefully dressed her table and arranged her pears in the baskets. There she was at five years old, setting up her storefront and merchandising her products in a careful display that would sell the most product at the highest price. All the business lessons were right there, including the financial ones, and especially all the ones on how to relate to people—relationships.

So, of course, everyone who passed by her table was awed at this most precious sight of their morning. And of course, no one could resist stopping and talking to her, most of them buying a pear or two in the process. One young fellow even laughed out loud as he told us that he bought a small bag of pears from her even though he had a pear tree at home that was dropping them on the ground.

But the highlight of the day came from Paul, a middle-aged customer of ours, who had become a faithful fan. So Paul walked up to me at the meat booth with this giant bag full of pears in his hand and an even bigger smile on his face. He said, “Wow, that little girl is amazing. She weighed all these pears and then used her little calculator there and then looked up at me and said, ‘That’ll be eighteen dollars and seventy-five cents.’”

And he continued, “This homeschooling thing you do is remarkable.”

As he spoke, I thought to myself, What? Since when does Mariana know how to use a calculator? Or multiply weight times price per pound to get a total price?

Then, it occurred to me what had happened. I really didn’t want to say anything to ruin Paul’s amazement, but I just couldn’t hold it back and started laughing. As he looked at me rather puzzled, I had to admit, “Paul,” I said, “Nina’s only five! She was just making the whole thing up, mimicking her older brothers and sisters.”

We both started laughing together, and then smiled as we realized that, lucky for him, she got the total pretty close. Then I chuckled again while teasing, “Paul, you just got hustled at a farmers market—by a five year old.”

Well, I suppose the bigger lesson is that the younger siblings will always mimic the older ones, so if we can find or create healthy activities for the older kids, then the younger ones will have a good chance of coming out okay too.

Looking back, I can see how the move into larger-scale farming really changed our mission at the ranch. What started as only growing food for ourselves turned into a wonderful way to share our faith and bring our family closer together. Working side by side in the fields taught us things that no book ever could. The kids got to experience that special feeling that comes from making something real with your own hands—something you can touch and taste and share. And when visitors or customers came by, they weren’t just getting food, for they were catching a glimpse of our Catholic faith in action. I didn’t have to preach at them because they could see how we worked together and treated each other. That seemed to touch folks in a way that words alone never could. “Preach the Gospel every day, and sometimes use words.” (St. Francis of Assisi)

15 – Grass-Fed Kids

Throughout the years of farmers markets, we always advertised ‘Grass-Fed Beef,’ and several times each Saturday at the market our customers would comment about the kids’ constant eye contact and firm handshakes. At first I didn’t know what to say after that. Thank you seemed to me like bragging, and saying nothing was awkward. So at some point, I just started to smile and say, “Yup—Grass-Fed Kids!”

There’s a lot of truth to that statement, but what does it mean? Well, the answer will get me writing about more of my favorite kid stories. I suppose that it’s important to point out that when most city kids (young men and women) come to work with us as interns, we usually start with some basic skills like rolling up a hose and using hand tools like rakes and shovels. We progress towards proper care for animals, building fires, and yard work, all the while promoting a certain capability and competency in the individuals who participate.

These lessons might seem ultra-basic, and indeed they are, yet these little skills and a hundred more like them are easy to take for granted when living on a working ranch. But they all give something very important to each person by increasing dexterity, self-confidence, and a team spirit. These important traits generate a sense of belonging and purpose—real purpose from real work that puts food on the table in a tangible, visible way.

Growing up on a farm in a farming family automatically generates many virtues and survival skills from a very young age—like as soon as a kid can walk. But let me clarify, that doesn’t mean the family has to make their entire living from farming. Similar benefits occur in all small family businesses that deal in light manufacturing or tactile trades, where the parents allow the children to participate. Some examples include specialty candle making, light costume jewelry, landscaping, and construction of any kind. Yet hobby farming type jobs are best because they are usually close to home and can be done by all ages, starting very young.

And thanks to God and His inspiration, that’s how my kids grew up. From collecting eggs at age three, weeding the garden at age four, spreading hay at age five, and feeding animals at age six. By seven years old they were helping me with landscaping around the house, and then digging trenches and gluing irrigation pipes before they reached the ripe old age of nine. By the time they turned ten, I had them driving the Quad, then the ATV, and soon after the SUV. They were all driving cars by the time they were thirteen and pulling trailers by fifteen. I realize I skipped a few years there, so let’s include packing meat orders, mowing lawns, trimming fields, driving tractors, building coops, and of course—organizing everything including the shop, the house, and believe it or not, even their own bedrooms.

Homeschooling added another layer of activity because it wasn’t just about academics, rather we included art, music, cooking, and prayer. But actually, I was pretty concerned about the lack of academics during many of those years, until my oldest son Zach’s high school graduation party. Several families came over for the occasion, so I started thinking about what to say to the group to honor Zach. I couldn’t think of anything about school customary to these types of events, like accomplishments in math, or highest honors in English, or anything like that. I was drawing academic blanks, not just because we homeschooled, but because Zach missed out on a normal academic schedule. For all of his four high school years, I needed his help so badly with the farm that the poor kid didn’t get enough time to study.

Yet as I addressed the small crowd, the most eloquent thoughts about Zach were delivered in a profound way relating to the talents and skills he had developed during those years. I found myself describing a litany of achievements in the life skills of hunting, fishing, cooking, small motor mechanics, building, landscaping, animal husbandry, tractor work, farming production, training workers, supervising employees, and direct consumer sales, just to name a few. There was a stout, eighteen year-old man standing next to me that I sure wish I could have been like when I was his age!

But soon afterwards, I began to wonder if I really handicapped him for college. It wasn’t long before I received an answer because Zach went to his first year of college on a normal schedule in the fall of that year. And guess what? He got all ‘As’.

Then it became the same curious circumstance for all the kids. Not enough high school academics for most of them, yet most of them started formal schooling for the first time in college and received high marks there. They scored much better than I did after twelve years of private education, without any farm work. So what was the difference?

As it turned out, the farm work was the difference. I finally realized that they just didn’t know what a ‘B’ was. They just didn’t think of doing something less than complete. For example, when they glued irrigation pipe together and laid it in the trench, they couldn’t do it less than complete or they would have to dig it back up and do it over. If they forgot to lock away the chickens at night, they would die. For their whole life, my kids were taught how to do things correctly, finish them strongly, and then clean up. So they just never thought it was an option to get anything less than an ‘A.’

By the way, I am not suggesting the elimination of high school academics. That was just what accidentally happened for most of my kids. My daughter Christia, however, was a completely different story. She just has that type of personality that gets stuff done, no matter what it is! At some point she decided to finish high school early, so she did. She started the local community college at age sixteen, then got herself accepted to several prominent universities, picked one, and graduated college at the age of twenty. She then traveled to Japan (for the second time), and taught English there for a year. Then upon returning to California, she used her own savings for a paralegal degree, worked for a large legal firm for a year, and then got accepted into Notre Dame law school with a full-ride scholarship. I have no explanation for her!

So how does the homesteading way of life account for successful attributes in children? Hopefully, these stories will impart something that resonates with you in your own situation, whatever it happens to be. The combination of homesteading and homeschooling can offer the unique situation of a more flexible schedule, allowing kids to explore their own interests, along with the freedom to pursue them. That was certainly the case for my oldest daughter Ty. During one of our motorhome trips across the country, she read a fictional series that was written by a teenage author. So she decided to write a spiritual/fantasy novel and asked me if I would edit it for her. But then she warned me, “Dad,” she firmly stated, “I have to finish this by the time I’m thirteen because then I’ll be younger than so and so!” She was twelve at the time.

What could I do but just smile and encourage her. And sure enough, about nine months later she dropped this giant manuscript on my lap. Well, I got more than I bargained for on that one. Poor Ty—it took me just as long to edit it as it did for her to write it. But we read through it together, and not just for the work of it. It was flexible homeschooling in its finest hour (or year). We struggled with it, laughed with it, and bonded over it. We then reviewed publishing options, and just after Ty turned fourteen, there it was in print. Her new book comprised over 300 pages of storytelling text with a beautiful cover that supported the awesome story of a girl like Ty, who traveled through a fantasy world, using her gifts of light.

Soon afterwards, Ty received some online sales and her first check, which I still have saved for her in a special place. Making money, saving money, and wisely spending money has been a worthwhile experience for all of us on the farm. I remember plenty of visitors who have asked how I get the kids to work so hard and my answer is quite simple—I pay them. After a little gasp from the guest, I must explain that work is a good thing, and so is money, as long as it stays in its proper place. And to the kids I explain that from the money we make, we save some, donate some, and spend some.

“How much should I spend,” asked Joseph at age fourteen, when buying his first guitar. I’m not always sure how to answer those questions, especially without any research. So Joseph and I went to the music store together, but not just to buy a guitar. It was a special day because it was our special time together, which included a captive audience on a long drive, a nice restaurant lunch, and several music stores that served as an adventure, or a treasure hunt as I recall.

When we arrived at the largest music store of Sacramento, we gazed across a whole wall full of guitars, hanging from floor to ceiling. I had never seen that many guitars in my whole life. We looked them over and played a few, enjoying the ensemble. They all seemed good, yet they all seemed average, with none of them drawing extra attention. So we took a break from the rack, and moseyed about the store.

“Nice drum set. Nice keyboards,” Joseph murmured as we walked along the instrument laden pathway throughout the store. Actually, his eyes were beaming because he enjoyed quite the musical variety, being competent with not just guitar, but drums and piano as well. Before too many distractions, we wandered into a sound room with several guitars spread around on separate stands. “Ah,” I exclaimed, “so this is where they keep the good stuff.”

Actually, everything in the store was quite nice, yet this room was for serious musicians. And right away, our attention was drawn to one particular polished wood instrument that appeared deep and rich. So we played it. And it sounded deep and rich. And then we looked at the price tag, which was also deep and rich!

We hung around and played more instruments from that special room, and then Joseph selected his favorite guitar from the rack on the wall. We took our time as Joseph played one and then the other, comparing looks, quality, sound, and price. Then he restated the original question, “How much should I spend dad?”

Well, I really prefer answering those kinds of questions in a way that helps the person make their own decisions, rather than me making the decision for them. So I returned his question with one of my own. “How long do you think you’ll have this guitar?” Is this a fly-by-night thing or do you want to continue this talent for your whole life?” Now Joseph was (and still is) a pretty avid musician, so I pretty much knew the answer before I had asked, but it was for him to figure out on his own. My job was only to assist his understanding with a broader perspective.

Then I gave him a few other questions to consider, and after that he was prepared for his decision. Even though the heirloom guitar was about five times more expensive than the one from the standard rack, it was the right choice for Joseph. He had worked like a man to earn his own money, and he made a man’s decision that day. And now, he continues to play the special guitar, and someday he can share the whole experience along with his beautiful music with his own kids.

That sure answered the question of how much to spend that time. But how much should we save? Here we go again! I don’t know. How about changing the question a little? How much should we invest? Ah—that’s a much easier question. As much as possible! Saving money is really boring, but investing money is so much more fun that it makes us save more. But how does a parent teach a child how to invest? Just like everything else—by starting in the simplest way.

Michael was about six years old when he made his first investment. I was explaining to him and his older brothers and sisters an old saying that goes something like this, “That guy over there is so wealthy, he still has the first buck he ever made.” I’m pretty sure that saying was originally intended as a derogatory statement, but I was describing it to inform the kids that saving money is a good thing, and that I wish I would have saved my first buck from when I was their age.

And just then it hit me, “Okay guys—you all can save the first buck you ever made!”

I’m not sure if they felt the strength of emotion that I did, but my smile was so big that they all started smiling too and said okay, “What should we do?”

The backstory is that for several years, I had already been paying the older kids for their work, and this was Michael’s first year to get paid. He worked hard, right along with the rest of us, so like the rest of us, it was his payday. I would pay the kids little amounts as we worked along, but every fall, after the major harvesting was over, I would pay everyone with the bigger amount that they earned throughout the year. And it was real pay for real work, and we kept real time sheets (the same sheets that we still use with all the employees today).

Michael’s older brothers and sisters each had their own bank accounts already, because in a previous year’s payday, we all went to the bank to talk about banking and I set up accounts for each of the children, specifically for their own savings. Each year, the older kids saw their savings increase after payday, but that wasn’t investing, just saving. So now it was time to step up our game a notch. But how could the kids invest in a meaningful way?

So I paid all the kids in cash, some of them in the hundreds and some in the thousands. And then we all set off to the investing store so that Michael could keep the first buck he ever made. The investing store? What’s that?

Once we all got in the car and started driving, I asked the gang about the Old Testament story of Jacob and Joseph and the coat of many colors. They all knew the story pretty well, so when we got to the part about the seven year drought, when Jacob sent his sons to Egypt to buy grain, I asked, “And what did Jacob give his sons to buy the grain with?”

I heard a bunch of puppy dog noises from the back, so I repeated the question and then said, “Silver! Jacob had invested in silver to hold and increase the value of his savings.” And then I continued, “So the investing store we are going to is the silver store.”

They liked that idea! And the fun thing about a silver store is that they also have gold there, and platinum, and collector coins, and ancient coins, and all kinds of shiny things. “Hey guys, check out this buffalo nickel! This was the US five cent piece about a hundred years ago. Back then it was worth a nickel, but now it’s worth about twenty bucks. You could buy a few of those along with a few of these, and, and, and. What a blast. Investing is so much more fun than just saving.

So we left the silver store that day with each of the kids carrying a little white cardboard box with lots of little treasures in each one. I couldn’t help but give Michael a shiny new one dollar coin for his box and say, “Here you go Michael—the first buck you ever made!”

The following year we did it again, and then again. So now they still each have those little white boxes, some of which had to be exchanged for bigger boxes. And I keep them all together for them, hidden safely at the house. And now, over ten years later, they are each more than triple the value, yet to all the kids with our experiences together, they’re worth more than that!

Several years later, when Michael was about sixteen, he started asking me about investing again, with some financial and business questions as well. He began telling me of his idea to buy and sell some products online, ‘drop-shipping,’ along with a few other ideas he had in mind. So that got us talking about business, the stock market, real-estate, and all kinds of economic things. I was particularly interested in his drive to learn more and begin engaging in some of his ideas.

As Michael kept talking about turning a quick profit here and big exchange there, I said, “Okay, so you’re saying you want to be an attorney.” But he replied, “Huh - no I want to do business.”

“Yes, exactly what I meant. You want to be a lawyer!”

“What? - No… What?”

“Okay Michael, I’ll explain.” So we spent about an hour reviewing possible careers and a good portion on how anyone can make a quick business deal, and how plenty of people go broke fast doing that too. But transactional attorneys get to participate in all these business deals and learn about all of them while helping their clients at $400 an hour. He only partially understood until I had him calculate what four hundred dollars an hour translates to in a week and then a month. Then he really got it and said, “Yah dad, I want to be an attorney!”

Later that year we made a visit to my cousin’s law practice, who enjoyed quizzing Michael and sharing some insights with him. And sure enough, Michael is now in college studying English and economics, while participating in law clubs and looking for internships in law offices. After undergraduate studies, he’ll be on his way to law school to get himself into business and finance along a professional path.

A good formula for raising kids starts with spending as much time with them as possible. A homesteading lifestyle combined with lots of family prayer helps to provide that necessary time together. I was certainly blessed to receive God’s grace along the way as He showed me how to live a simple family life in Our Lady’s Way of Salvation.

16 – The Rhythms of Agrarian Life

As we settled into commercial farming at Our Lady’s Ranch, we found ourselves reconnecting with a rhythm of life that Catholics had lived for centuries. The ancient monastic tradition of “ora et labora” (prayer and work) was now the heartbeat of our daily existence. This pattern, I realized, was what the Catholic Land Movement had advocated for generations—a return to an integrated life where faith, family, and farming create a natural harmony.

Our daily schedule developed into beautiful movements centered around prayer and work. Each morning began with reading the daily Mass liturgy together, followed by a brief meditation to set our hearts on Christ. The Angelus bells rang at noon, calling us to pray for our shepherds of the Church. At three o’clock, the Divine Mercy chaplet provided another sacred pause to pray for the conversion of souls, and dinner time meant first praying for young people before entering into a short prayer of grace for our meal. Our day culminated with a family rosary in the evening, when we prayed for other families.

This rhythm of intentional prayer embodies what we call living as contemplatives in action. Each morning, we enter into quiet prayer, receiving God’s grace and making a connection to Him—directly receiving His love. Then we move out of that prayer into our daily activities, allowing the love we have received to flow through us into everything we do, and into everyone we meet. “Let everything that you do and everyone you meet be an encounter with God” (November 20, 1988)

Whether we are changing a diaper, mowing the lawn, or harvesting chickens, we carry that contemplative spirit into active work. In this way, the grace received during morning prayer doesn’t remain isolated in a spiritual compartment but transforms our entire day. Every task becomes an opportunity for God’s love to flow through us to others and to His creation. These weren’t simply interruptions to our work and play but the anchor points that gave meaning to everything else. Much like the monastic bells that call monks to prayer, our schedule reminded us that our primary relationship is with God, and all other activities flow from that center. The children learned to recognize these sacred pauses as the heartbeat of our day.

I understood very quickly that as soon as children can walk, they can work—and I often told this to visitors. Some mistook this for exploitation, but nothing could be further from the truth. Work became our greatest bonding experience. We ate together, prayed together, and worked together forming connections that entertainment or idle time could never create.

Homeschooling formed the heart of our family formation strategy, following the Church’s consistent teaching on parents as the first and foremost educators of their children. This principle, articulated in Vatican II’s Declaration on Christian Education (Gravissimum Educationis), was further developed in Pope John Paul II’s writings, emphasizing that the educational role of parents is “so decisive that scarcely anything can compensate for their failure in it.” (Familiaris Consortio)

Following these teachings, I structured our days to balance formal academics with hands-on learning. Mornings focused on reading, writing, and arithmetic, while afternoons opened up for exploration and practical education. This integrated approach was rooted in a recognition that true education must form the whole person—spiritual, intellectual, emotional, and physical. Pope Pius XI, in his encyclical Divini Illius Magistri wrote, “Education is essentially a social and not merely an individual activity,” making our family-centered approach particularly fitting.

Nature provided endless educational opportunities. When a hawk flew overhead during our walks, it sparked discussions about territorial birds, hunting patterns, and ecosystems. If we encountered something unfamiliar, we would research it together in the encyclopedia, teaching not just facts, but how to learn—a skill far more valuable than memorization.

The children’s participation in work evolved naturally as they grew. Even the youngest kids at three, five, and seven years old could meaningfully contribute from those early ages. That was plenty old enough to be picking up wood and participating in age-appropriate tasks. Gardening proved particularly wonderful for children, for even a four-year-old can weed and harvest (with some guidance to preserve the actual plants!).

I occasionally encountered visitors who questioned this approach, coming from a culture where children are relegated to only recreational activities until their late teens. But I observed something profoundly different in my children compared to their peers. My kids developed confidence, competence, and purpose at a very early age. When visitors commented on the children’s maturity and capability, I would often respond, “Yep, I understand—I want to be like them when I grow up!”

Work often transformed into play, and play into work. I remember countless times of cutting fallen trees for firewood, only to pause because the children had turned the downed timber into a natural jungle gym. Beyond the productive and educational aspects of these activities, they were healing. After years of desk work as an architect, getting my hands in the dirt brought deep satisfaction. Creating something tangible while working alongside my children obtained for me the grace of growing in virtue with my children, restoring something essential to my soul.

One valuable aspect of this approach was allowing children the gift of boredom. I witnessed various moments of creativity born from the absence of constant stimulation. My oldest daughter, Ty, would later write about the importance of balancing work with rest and play in what she called, “The Hobbit Option.” Drawing inspiration from Tolkien’s simple yet profound portrayal of the hobbit lifestyle, she observed that prayer and work are vital, but so are rest and play, because “If the devil can’t make you bad, he’ll make you busy.”

I saw this principle in action when watching the children develop skills and talents through unstructured time. Limited screen time meant children turned to books, crafts, building projects, and creative play. Years later, a homeschooling mother (who lived at the ranch with her husband and six children) shared a beautiful story about her daughter creating handmade skirts from fabric scraps during a period of ‘boredom.’ In her blog post, she described how creativity flourishes in the absence of constant entertainment.

One beautiful and tactile practice we adopted came from St. Therese of Lisieux—the sacrifice bracelet. Each child received a simple bracelet with seven beads that could slide upward but not back down. Throughout the day, small acts of kindness or self-sacrifice earned the movement of a bead. If a younger sibling was crying, for instance, an older child might offer comfort or a toy, then move a bead to mark this loving action.

At dinner, I would ask, “How did you do on your beads today?” The children would eagerly share their accomplishments, “I got six beads”—”I got seven!” And then they shared the stories behind them. This simple practice encouraged daily acts of love while building the habit of an evening examination of conscience. It wasn’t merely about counting good deeds but cultivating an awareness of how our actions affect others—a living catechesis on the virtue of charity.

Through our daily rhythm, I recognized again those five essential aspects of communal living that I had first observed years earlier at Caritas of Birmingham: praying together, working together, eating together, playing together, and resting together. These five pillars, which had seemed so natural and powerful there, now structured our family life at Our Lady’s Ranch.

Each of these five activities alone creates bonds. Praying regularly with someone builds spiritual connection and working alongside someone develops trust. Yet, when all five activities operate in harmony, they create a profound unity. Since we are ultimately seeking union with God, these shared activities become pathways to both human and divine connection.

The power of praying together cannot be overstated. When my family kneels side by side, voicing the same ancient prayers that have sustained Catholics for generations, something mysteriously peaceful occurs in our souls. Individual concerns and preoccupations gradually yield to collective petition and praise. I watched our children grow in their prayer lives not primarily through instruction but through immersion. They heard me pray aloud, witnessed my reverence, and joined in the family prayers day after day and night after night.

Working together forged bonds of a different kind. There’s something uniquely intimate about shouldering a common burden, whether mending fences, harvesting vegetables, or tending livestock. These shared labors brought a particular closeness—the kind that doesn’t require many words but creates a silent understanding. The children learned to read each other’s movements, anticipate another’s needs, and develop a wordless choreography of cooperation.

I remember one afternoon when we were spreading hay before an approaching storm and the children, from youngest to oldest, formed an efficient line without a word of instruction from me. They had internalized not just skills, but the rhythms of collaborative effort.

Eating together provided daily opportunities for conversation, storytelling, and the sharing of ideas. Our table became a forum for discussing the day’s events, planning future projects, and exploring questions of faith and philosophy (not to mention all the latest superhero movies!). Even the youngest children participated, learning by listening before they could contribute. As they grew, mealtime discussions became increasingly rich, with each child bringing unique perspectives and observations.

Playing together, perhaps the most underrated of the five pillars, offered relief and recreation (re-creation). After intense periods of work, we might engage in impromptu games or planned sports. These weren’t mere diversions but essential components of a balanced life. I remember many summer evenings playing badminton in the yard, winter afternoons dedicated to board games when rain prevented outdoor work, and special celebrations for feast days that combined religious observance with genuine festivity. When playing together, tensions dissolved, creativity flourished, and joy multiplied.

Resting together completed the cycle. In a culture that increasingly fragments family members into separate spaces, each with individual screens, we practiced the art of shared leisure. We read aloud together in the evening, enjoyed sunsets from a family patio, and watched the stars many nights from a blanket on the front lawn in comfortable silence. This wasn’t time wasted, but souls being restored.

Our agricultural year naturally aligns with the Church’s liturgical calendar, creating layers of meaning in every season. Planting vegetables in the garden usually coincides with Easter along with the sunny springtime of new life and resurrection. As we prepared the soil and placed seeds in the ground, we reflected on Christ’s words about the grain of wheat falling to the earth and dying to produce new life. The children understood the paschal mystery not as an abstract concept but as a living reality they participated in each spring.

The abundance of summer and fall harvests complement ordinary time, that long stretch of green in the liturgical year when we focus on growth and maturity in faith. Just as the garden produced its fruits in these months, we sought to bear spiritual fruit in our daily lives. Each gathered vegetable and each picked berry became a physical reminder of Christ’s call to fruitfulness.

Winter’s dormancy perfectly parallels Advent’s watchful waiting. As the fields rested under occasionally frosted mornings, we too entered a time of preparation and anticipation. The reduced outdoor labor of winter months allowed more time for indoor projects, extended prayer, and family activities that deepened our sense of awaiting Christ’s coming.

Feast days punctuate this annual cycle with special celebrations. Rather than adopting secular holiday traditions, we embraced the rich cultural heritage of Catholic festivity. All Saints Day became an opportunity for the children to learn about the saints while dressing up like them, rather than Halloween characters. St. Nicholas Day brought the tradition of shoes filled with treats, connecting us to centuries of Catholic custom. The Last Supper became a living remembrance as we prepared meals with elements that Jesus and His disciples had eaten. Easter celebrations included not just spiritual observances but the joy of treasure hunts for baskets that required solving riddles that I had created.

The Sabbath held particular importance in our lifestyle rhythms. Despite the constant demands of livestock and crops, we honored Sunday as a day of rest and worship. Essential chores were completed quickly, leaving the day for Mass, family time, and genuine leisure—not mere entertainment, but the true re-creation of our souls.

Sunday mornings saw us rising early to complete necessary animal care before attending Mass at our parish. Upon returning home, we would enjoy a special meal often prepared partially the day before. The afternoon might include family games, reading, or a nature walk together. No unnecessary work was undertaken—laundry waited, projects paused, and business matters were set aside. This weekly rhythm of six days labor and one day rest provided a sustainable pattern that prevented burnout while honoring God’s command.

What made this particularly countercultural was my insistence on genuine rest despite the constant pressure of farm demands. In modern agriculture, many farmers work seven days a week, especially during critical seasons. We chose instead to trust that honoring the Sabbath would ultimately lead to greater flourishing, even if it sometimes meant delaying certain tasks. The children observed this commitment and internalized the message that our ultimate dependence was on God, not on our own ceaseless activity.

Living this integrated rhythm produced visible fruits in our family—the joy Our Lady speaks of in her messages. “Dear children, today I call you to joy. I am your mother and I desire that each of you find joy in your heart, the joy the Lord gives only to those who follow him on the path of salvation.” (March 25, 1999)

This joy emerged naturally from living in harmony with God’s design. The rhythms of prayer, work, learning, dining, and rest created a foundation of peace amid the inevitable challenges of farm life. The children developed virtues not through lectures but through lived experience, including patience from watching plants grow, responsibility from caring for animals, and generosity from sharing harvests.

When visitors commented on our children’s happiness despite their significant responsibilities, I would explain that meaningful work connected to physical results provides a deeper satisfaction than the passive entertainment of our modern culture. My children knew that their contributions mattered because their parents genuinely needed their help. And their sense of belonging along with their sense of purpose gave them contentment and confidence rarely seen in other children.

The integration of spiritual and physical activities, work and leisure, individual and communal time, created a wholeness that’s increasingly rare in our fragmented society. We weren’t perfect by any means, but we were striving to live according to the natural rhythms that God has woven into creation itself.

Yet as we would soon discover, maintaining these beautiful rhythms as a single family presented significant challenges. The ordinary demands of raising children along with the natural stress of commercial farming, homeschooling alone, and providing everything for ourselves without adequate communal support, would eventually stretch us beyond what we could sustain. The challenges ahead would teach me about needing others, about true community, and about what it really takes to live off the land in a sustainable way. These new lessons would prove as valuable as the joys we had experienced in those early golden years.

PARADISE FALTERS

17 – Going it Alone

The joyful family homesteading life I described might sound almost utopian—children learning through meaningful work, visitors experiencing God’s presence through creation, and my family witnessing faith through farming. And truly, these blessings were real. But behind these beautiful moments lay a more challenging reality that gradually revealed itself over the years.

During this period of farming and farmers’ markets, I continued the pursuit of an intentional Catholic community, but most of the trials and errors seemed to be errors. Over the course of ten years, we had twelve different households living on Our Lady’s Ranch, all at different times. Some were singles, some were couples, and some were families.

Each living arrangement attempted to create a sustainable community model while meeting the practical needs for help with the farm. Each new household brought fresh hope that it might be the beginning of the Catholic Family Homestead Community that I had envisioned since those early days of dreaming.

Sometimes I rented the granny unit to families seeking a taste of rural living—folks who were drawn to the beauty of agrarian life but weren’t ready to purchase their own land. They came with enthusiasm and curiosity, eager to learn the rhythms of our lifestyle. We opened our home and hearts to them, showing them how to care for animals, tend gardens, and integrate prayer throughout the day.

At other times we arranged work-exchange agreements where residents helped with farming operations in exchange for reduced rent. These arrangements had the advantage of ensuring a certain number of working hours on the farm, which helped with the mounting labor demands as our operation grew. We also hosted employees in campers during busy seasons, particularly summer when additional hands were essential for the abundant harvests. These short-term contracts brought youthful energy and fresh perspectives, though they required significant training investments for relatively brief returns.

Summer interns, often college students who were seeking alternatives to conventional careers, stayed for three to four months, assisting with childcare and field work. These young people, usually in their early twenties, brought an idealism and eagerness that enriched our family life. The children especially enjoyed having these ‘big brothers and sisters’ who would join in their games after the day’s work was done.

In one such segment of life, we had two young men and a retired priest living on site for about a year, giving us a glimpse of what an Ecclesial Family Homestead might look like. This SOLT priest was so dear to our family that during a transition year of his ministry, he took a sabbatical with us and received permission from his superior (and our bishop) to retain all of his faculties while living at Our Lady’s Ranch. That included saying daily Mass at the ranch while providing assistance to our pastor for weekend Masses at the parish. So Fr. Eckley came to live at the cottage of Our Lady’s Ranch where I paired him with a young Catholic man as a housemate, driver, and apprentice.

Words cannot fully explain the joy of celebrating Mass in our own home on a daily basis. And the peace of weekly Adoration, every Wednesday in our own ‘Prayer Room’ was simply miraculous. All the children were present to Jesus in a very unique way every day, and all of us enjoyed daily interactions with a religious person. Also, Fr. Eckley received the tremendous blessing of a family who loved him and children who entertained him and cared for him. There was a lot of love floating around back then, and lots of divine grace.

Through all the different communal arrangements we experienced, I learned many lessons, and one of them seems most relevant to anyone starting a neighborhood of their own. It only takes one other person to make a community! All the aspects of community life are present, even if there is only one other household more than your own, and even if the other household is just one person, and even if the person is a mother-in-law, an aging parent, or even a priest. I have lived with all of those profiles here at Our Lady’s Ranch, and all of them can be very good situations, but all of them require every aspect of a healthy community including proper communication, mutual understandings, and appropriate boundaries.

As we experimented with these various scenarios of different people living on the ranch as neighbors, the farming business continued to grow. What began with two cows (purchased simply to create outdoor activities for the children and use our land productively) had evolved into a commercial enterprise that demanded increasing time and energy. Those first cows multiplied to four, then eight, then sixteen over just a few years. Initially, we only sold sides of beef to family and friends, but quickly learned that most people aren’t equipped to receive two-hundred pounds of meat all at once.

Adapting to this reality, I developed smaller packages of twenty-five, fifty, and one-hundred pound options with customized selections of familiar cuts. This approach, which seems common now, was innovative at the time and required significant planning and organization. One local rancher told me that I was crazy for trying to sell in smaller quantities, predicting failure within three months due to leftover cuts that wouldn’t sell. I just smiled and replied, “What do I care, I’ve got seven kids to feed!”

The success at farmers’ markets led to further business expansion. Before long our big city customers in the San Francisco area began requesting winter deliveries when the markets closed for the summer season. This demand evolved into a network of ‘host locations’ where multiple customers of a certain neighborhood would gather to receive their orders at one of the customer’s houses. Eventually, the administrative burden of managing orders through emails and phone calls grew overwhelming, cutting into my already limited family time.

Working towards more efficiency required help from a friend who built an online store that allowed customers to order directly, reducing the administrative burden. This led to weekly home deliveries, contracts with food distributors, and even shipping to distant cities. Each phase of growth was a response to new customers rather than an intentional strategy, but the effect was a business that demanded far more time and energy than I had initially envisioned.

Throughout these expansions, our farm evolved from a simple homestead into a complex enterprise requiring sophisticated management. What began as a way to raise children in a wholesome environment had become a business that consumed increasing amounts of my time and energy. Throughout these developments, I found myself regularly working twelve-hour days just to keep the operations functioning.

Behind the scenes of this newly thriving business, I experienced the challenge of maintaining community with our temporary residents. Most of our employees lasted about a year. Residents would fulfill their commitment, express sincere gratitude for the experience, and then move on to other opportunities. Some visitors would stay for a weekend or week, absorb everything they could about the operation, and later write to share how they had started their own homestead in some other state like Texas or Kentucky, after being inspired by their time with us.

While I appreciated knowing that we had inspired others, each departure created significant hardship for my family. The children formed attachments to the people living with us, which was a natural outcome of sharing daily life, meals, and special occasions. Each goodbye became an emotional challenge, particularly for the younger children who didn’t fully understand why people they had come to love were leaving. What adults saw as valuable learning experiences, children felt as lost friendships.

Beyond the emotional toll, the constant turnover meant continually training new helpers and restructuring the organization. Just as someone became proficient at a particular farming task, they would depart and I would have to begin the training process all over again. Sometimes people would leave with little notice, driven by new opportunities or changing circumstances, leaving urgent farm tasks unaddressed and requiring me to rapidly reorganize the workflow.

This revolving door of temporary community members revealed a fundamental problem in my approach. Without shared ownership and long-term commitment, I was creating meaningful, but transient connections rather than the sustainable community I had envisioned.

The days often stretched well beyond reasonable limits. Early morning milking sessions, homeschool lessons, afternoon farm work, evening chores, and late-night business planning became our normal routine. I remember several nights working with the kids past midnight repairing essential equipment, knowing that we needed it functional by morning.

A typical day during harvest season might begin at 7:00 am with animal chores like feeding livestock, collecting eggs, and milking the cow. By 8:00, we would transition to breakfast and morning prayers before starting homeschool lessons at 9:00. While the children self-guided through their academic work, I might be repairing equipment, meeting with delivery drivers, or handling business calls. Around noon, we would pause for the Angelus and lunch, after which the children would join me for afternoon farm work.

Afternoons often included harvesting vegetables, processing meat orders, or preparing for market days. The Divine Mercy chaplet at 3:00 pm provided a brief spiritual pause before continuing work until dinner around 6:00. Evening chores, family rosary, and bedtime routines for the children filled the next few hours. Only after the children were asleep could I address business planning, processing orders, and bookkeeping.

Even though I loved this energetic pace of a full family life, the relentless schedule took its toll. There were seasons when I averaged just five to six hours of sleep each night for weeks on end. The physical demands of farming combined with sleep deprivation created a level of exhaustion that affected my health and patience.

The children, while thriving in many ways, sometimes missed opportunities for play times with peers. Their rich family life and practical education couldn’t entirely compensate for the limited time available for social interaction or extracurricular activities. I tried to incorporate social opportunities through homeschool co-ops and parish involvement, but the farming demands often made consistent participation impossible.

Looking back at the financial reality, the economics simply didn’t work for a single family operation of our scale. While we weren’t farming primarily for profit, and my investments provided us with financial security, the truth was disheartening. I was working for about ten dollars an hour. I found myself working harder each year without significantly improving our financial position—a situation that couldn’t be indefinitely sustained.

The unpredictability of farm life added yet another layer of difficulty. We might return from Sunday Mass, eager to finally enjoy a restful afternoon, only to discover the cattle had broken through a fence, or the chickens had gotten into the garden and were decimating our vegetable beds. Those moments meant quickly changing clothes and spending hours rounding up livestock. Occasionally, our day of rest vanished before it began.

On the bright side, these disruptions became teaching opportunities for the children in flexibility and problem-solving. The kids learned to adapt quickly, to set aside plans when necessary, and to prioritize the welfare of the animals and plants in our care. These situations helped develop life skills, but the constant disruptions upset the natural rhythms of our previous family experience when our work was simply for a hobby-farm that provided healthy food and joyful recreation.

The accumulation of these challenges gradually revealed a fundamental truth. What I was attempting to build as a single family (even with temporary helpers) wasn’t sustainable in its current form. It was clear to me from the very beginning that our ancestors had it right all along—people need each other. Families need other families! Parents need other parents, kids need other kids, and farmers need other farmers. It takes a village to raise a child.

It could be so much easier! One milking cow produces enough milk for five families. One small vegetable garden produces enough food for a neighborhood. A half dozen cows produce enough beef for the entire hamlet. And the list goes on and on, yet it doesn’t just stop at food. How about sharing some equipment? We don’t need five tractors when just one is sufficient.

And what about recreation? Swimming pools are expensive to build and maintain, and normally don’t get used enough to justify the cost. But if a small community of five households wanted one, then splitting the cost is one fifth the amount, and the use is five times more. There is not only strength and affordability in numbers, but fellowship too. We should be living around our friends because of all the benefits, but most importantly because of the spiritual security and grace we share and enjoy with one another.

18 – Breaking Points

Even though our many resident helpers genuinely appreciated their time with us, something fundamental was missing in our approach. Over the years, the answer has become more clear. The ‘80/20’ rule has powerfully applied to my attempts at community life. In most human endeavors, 80% of the work gets done by 20% of the people. In our case, my family consistently carried the vast majority of responsibilities while temporary residents or employees did not have enough incentive for a more personal investment and/or commitment.

This discrepancy wasn’t primarily about character or intentions. Rather, it revealed something essential about human nature that the Church has long recognized. While the early Christians initially “held everything in common” (Acts 4:32), their system soon changed as the Church grew. The reason is found in basic human psychology—people generally work harder and care more diligently for property in which they have personal ownership.

I observed this principle countless times. When we made improvements to the farm like new fencing, irrigation piping, or animal shelters, our family approached these projects with long-term vision and attention to quality. I knew we would benefit from these improvements for years to come. But temporary residents, though conscientious, naturally approached their work differently. Without legal ownership, their perspective remained short-term with a conditional commitment.

It’s not that I didn’t want them to own the land with us, for that’s what I had always intended from the beginning. It’s just that no one that I encountered could afford to buy-in under any normal conventional means. Because these past residents didn’t share ownership in the property or business, their incentives naturally differed from mine. They might have enjoyed learning various homesteading skills and experiencing community life temporarily, but without equity in the operation their commitment remained limited. If an opportunity arose elsewhere, they had every reason to take it.

This understanding connects directly to Catholic social teaching, particularly the tradition of distributism championed by G.K. Chesterton and Hilaire Belloc. Distributism advocates for widespread ownership of productive property—neither centralized under government control (pure socialism) nor concentrated in large corporations (unbridled capitalism), but distributed among families and small communities.

G.K. Chesterton once wrote, “The problem with capitalism is not that there are too many capitalists, but that there are too few.” In order to flourish, people need ownership and connection to the fruits of their labor.

Most difficult was the lack of reliable relief. In traditional agrarian communities, extended families and neighbors provided natural support systems. If someone fell ill, others stepped in to handle essential tasks. If a family needed to travel for a funeral or a wedding, neighbors tended their livestock. If a mother was recovering after childbirth, meals appeared at the doorstep.

But operating independently with only temporary helpers meant essentially no time off and no backup plan. This lack of support made even small disruptions challenging. Attending a child’s piano recital or medical exam meant compressing a day’s work into fewer hours. A simple weekend vacation required elaborate planning to ensure all farm tasks would be covered during our absence. The continuous pressure of being the backup system of last resort created a particular kind of long-term stress that eventually eroded my joy of farming.

Traditional farming communities understood this reality. In the agricultural neighborhoods of previous generations, farmers coordinated planting and harvesting schedules to allow equipment sharing and mutual assistance. Extended families lived nearby, with grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins available for childcare, emergency help, or simply sharing in the day-to-day work. Religious communities like monasteries and convents included enough members to ensure that illness or absence didn’t compromise essential functions.

Our independent attempt at Catholic family farming lacked these built-in support systems. We occasionally received help from parish friends and temporary residents, but these arrangements couldn’t provide the consistent, reliable support that integrated communities naturally create. The strain of this structural isolation gradually became evident in various aspects of our life.

The children, while developing remarkable work ethics and practical skills, had limited opportunities for social interaction with peers. They found friendship with each other and periodic connections through church activities, but lacked the consistent peer relationships that more settled lifestyles facilitate. As they grew older, especially into the teen years, this limitation became more apparent.

I found myself repeatedly asking God, “What’s wrong? This is so hard!” I was sometimes literally throwing rocks up to heaven in frustration. The beautiful vision I pursued seemed almost impossible to maintain as a single family, even with temporary helpers cycling through.

Originally, I thought that several neighbors working together was a luxury that would simply make this agrarian lifestyle more enjoyable, which is true. But I have come to realize that a sustainable Catholic Family Homestead is best served through multiple households that share both ownership and responsibilities. A small community where each family maintains privacy and autonomy while participating in some common activities and work would address many of the challenges we faced.

The distributist principle makes very practical sense. If some people want to create a sustainable Catholic Family Homestead Community, they need to structure it with widespread ownership of productive property where each household has a genuine stake in both the work and its fruits. This arrangement doesn’t require every household to make their living from farming. Actually, none of the households need to make their living from farming, yet a desired portion of hobby farming by some or all of the residents will insure all the advantages of this agrarian lifestyle, without nearly the number of hardships.

I can envision multiple households, each with their own private outdoor spaces and homes, but sharing some common facilities, equipment, and certain responsibilities. Each family would have actual equity in the property through a cooperative ownership structure. Decisions affecting the community could be made collectively according to clear processes, with different voting levels for different types of decisions.

The property maintenance and hobby-farming tasks would be distributed across multiple households, providing natural backup systems when someone fell ill or wanted to travel. Property, infrastructure, and equipment costs could be shared, making investments more economically viable. Children would have both the benefits of family cohesion and access to a broader community of peers. The cycle of continual training and retraining would be replaced by stable, committed community members developing agrarian skills over time.

Most importantly, the shared ownership would create aligned incentives. Each family would benefit directly from improvements to the land and the community. Rather than one family carrying the vast majority of responsibilities, each household would have clearly defined roles and contributions essential to the needs of the community as defined by its members.

This realization doesn’t diminish the value of our experience, rather it reveals the next evolution of God’s plan for Our Lady’s Ranch. The vision must expand from a single-family homestead to a true community where Catholic families support one another while maintaining appropriate independence, each with aligned incentives through actual ownership.

The trials we experienced through our various attempts at community were preparing us for something greater. They provided practical insights that would inform a more sustainable structure—one built on shared ownership, clearly defined responsibilities, and the dignity that comes from having a genuine stake in both the work and its fruits.

My relentless workload showed me that no single family, regardless of how dedicated, can sustainably maintain the diverse operations of a full-scale homestead without adequate support systems. Our apparent setbacks had been redirections, guiding us toward a more sustainable path that would better serve the future Catholic Family Homestead Community of Our Lady’s Ranch.

19 – Insidious Habits

I believe in the father’s responsibility to provide for and protect his family. While society has blurred the traditional understanding of family provision, what has truly been lost is the father’s fundamental duty to safeguard his family. This protection isn’t just about physical safety, but about guarding hearts and minds from cultural influences that pull us away from God.

From the earliest days at Our Lady’s Ranch, I took this protective role seriously. I would stand at the mailbox and deliberately filter everything that came in, including newspapers, magazines, and sales brochures. I would throw inappropriate materials away before they crossed our threshold. This wasn’t paranoia—it was intentional fathering.

I established clear boundaries around media and technology. No cable television was allowed in the house because I wanted to keep out commercials, immodesty, and the barrage of messages contradicting my family values. Video games were banned entirely because we had such a rich life of real activities, including fishing, hunting, exploring, building forts, creating bows and arrows from sticks, just to name a few. Between homeschooling, music, cooking, work, and meaningful recreation, screen entertainment seemed like a waste of precious time.

We weren’t completely disconnected. We enjoyed family movie nights with carefully selected films, making popcorn and watching together. But the constant stream of unfiltered media was something I consciously rejected in favor of authentic experiences and genuine connection.

The approach worked beautifully for many years. Our children thrived in an environment centered on faith, nature, and family bonding. But maintaining these boundaries required constant vigilance, even with extended family.

I remember when my in-laws came to stay in our granny unit. They were good people who loved our children, but they had different ideas about electronic media. Without discussing it with me, they rigged up an antenna to get television reception. At first, I was delighted that the kids were eager to visit them frequently. Later, I discovered the real attraction wasn’t about family connection but the television they had been watching there. What I thought was strengthening family bonds was actually undermining the media boundaries I had carefully established.

These situations required difficult conversations about our family values and expectations. I couldn’t control the grandparents’ choices, but I needed to protect the environment that I had created for my children. It was challenging but necessary to maintain clear boundaries, even with extended family members. Actually, it’s important for any Catholic family to maintain their principles and protect their children, especially around extended family members.

As the children grew older and the farm operations expanded, technology gradually infiltrated our carefully protected space. It started innocently with Alicia bringing a Kindle into the house that was ‘supposedly’ just for reading. Then came an iPad ‘just for school purposes.’ Before long devices multiplied. The one cellular phone that we all shared eventually became individual phones for everyone. Each new device arrived with good justification, but the cumulative effect was extremely destructive. “For the Lord does not see as mortals see; they look on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7).

This progressive introduction of technology reminded me of the classic analogy of the frog in boiling water. If you drop a frog into boiling water, it immediately jumps out. But if you place it in room temperature water and gradually increase the heat, the frog won’t notice the change in temperature until it’s been cooked. That’s exactly how harmful influences insidiously enter a household—not all at once in ways that trigger our alarm systems, but gradually, almost imperceptibly, until we are immersed in a culture that we never would have chosen.

While technology may appear neutral on the surface, its effects on our hearts and minds can be profound. Evil seeps in slowly so that by the time we reach the end, we don’t even realize that we are living in it. That is why it’s crucial to keep negative influences out of the home, especially during children’s formative years. With a strong moral foundation, when well-formed young adults encounter immoral elements of culture, they will immediately recognize them as wrong and feel uncomfortable in their evil presence.

I watched with growing concern as screen time began replacing the tactile experiences that had formed the backbone of our family life. The difference between these activities is profound. When a person engages in a physical project like building, gardening, or caring for animals, their brain works completely differently than when staring at a screen. Neurotransmitters fire, electrical connections form between synapses, and eye-hand coordination develops. These activities naturally connect us to God through His creation. “The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.” (Psalm 19:1)

Contrast this natural behavior with a child viewing pixels changing on a screen. Studies show that minimal neurological transmission occurs during passive screen time. Rather than building connections, excessive screen time over-stimulates certain brain regions while leaving others underdeveloped. Furthermore, we can all remember seeing originally sweet children after three hours of television when they become irritable, restless, and emotionally dysregulated when they are finally pulled away from the screen that has hypnotized them.

Even beyond all the other cultural concerns, our society faces an epidemic of attention deficit disorders simply because children want everything instantly. If they’re not entertained within ten seconds, they become restless. This constant search for rapid stimulation is the polar opposite of the long-term rewards of an agrarian lifestyle. When planting a seed or caring for an animal, people are focused on doing their best at that moment. It’s a slow, methodical process requiring genuine concentration. Observing plants throughout seasonal changes, feeding animals, and harvesting produce are all experiences that captivate attention naturally without overwhelming the nervous system. They create depth of experience rather than breadth of distraction.

God’s design for human development includes these five essential components of unity: praying together, working together, eating together, playing together, and resting together. Technology, when left unmanaged, disrupts each of these vital connections. When electronic devices entered our home, I saw our children’s attention spans changing. The patience they had developed through years of agrarian living was being challenged by the immediate gratification of digital screens. Activities that had once fascinated them for hours now competed with the dopamine rush of video games.

I often pondered how to appropriately introduce technology into our home. It should be carefully staged, with limits and protections, mostly in the later high school years. Some people worry that their children will fall behind without early technological exposure, but that fear is unfounded. It takes about a month for a child to learn every dynamic of operating a cellular phone or computer. They lose nothing by waiting, but gain an invaluable foundation of wholesome development.

But maintaining technological boundaries as a single family within a broader society is nearly impossible. If you are the only parents restricting technology while every friend has unlimited access, your children naturally feel like the ‘Amish weirdos’ at every social gathering. As they approach adolescence, the pressure to conform intensifies, and the parental rules that were once normal start feeling like unreasonable restrictions.

This cultural situation has reinforced my view of why community is essential. When multiple families share similar values and practices, children don’t feel isolated in their lifestyle. They won’t compare their situation unfavorably to others because their peer group operates within the same framework. A community with common understandings about technology creates an environment where children can develop healthy boundaries without feeling deprived.

Catholic tradition offers a rich framework for engaging with technology that embraces Christian freedom while maintaining prudent boundaries. Catholic spirituality offers a middle ground between technological rejection and mindless acceptance. It asks us to evaluate tools based on how they serve human dignity, family life, and communal bonds. When Catholic families support one another in countercultural choices while embracing useful innovations, something remarkable emerges—a lifestyle that is both traditional and dynamic, stable yet adaptable.

This approach allows us to harness technology’s benefits while avoiding its pitfalls. The key is discernment guided by love. Does this technology serve human persons and strengthen family bonds, or does it create isolation and dependency?

The frog analogy works both ways. Just as negative influences can gradually overtake a family, positive cultural practices (reinforced by community) create an environment where virtue and wisdom flourish naturally. Children raised with intentional technological boundaries, supported by a community of like-minded families, develop a discipline that serves them throughout life.

This realization further confirmed what the farming challenges had already taught me. The vision for Our Lady’s Ranch needed to evolve beyond a single-family homestead into a true community of Catholic families who support one another in an agrarian lifestyle that radically opposes the modern cultural currents.

20 – Eden Crumbles

We had forged a beautiful life at Our Lady’s Ranch. The fields were productive, the animals thrived, and our family grew in both number and virtue. By all outward measures, we were living the dream I had envisioned—a life centered in faith, family, and farming right in the midst of God’s creation. For many years I had enjoyed our family mission of living in peace and sharing it with others.

Life seemed to progress very quickly in those early years with seven children filling my days with joy and purpose. I had built a comfortable home for my family while developing the ranch into an agrarian retreat site that would eventually include a small Catholic neighborhood of like-minded people. This vision was God’s design on my heart, unfolding gently with one miracle after another, like a flower blossoming in the garden of God’s creation.

I had established daily rhythms that wove prayer throughout our activities, while developing a family spirituality and lifestyle that integrated prayer, farm work, homeschooling, and healthy meals, with ample time for recreation and rest.

When visiting adults would ask the children what their favorite activity was on the ranch, they were astonished to hear the kids say it was our family prayer time. This affinity for family time wasn’t because our prayer was particularly pious or formal, rather these were social occasions filled with music, laughter, conversation, and sometimes followed by delightful family movies. We were truly living a homesteading dream and sharing it with all the visitors that came for spiritual retreats and farm tours.

But despite the hard work, prayer, and protective boundaries I had established, challenges were mounting that no amount of effort could overcome. The delicate balance I had maintained for many years began to tip. Despite my best efforts to create a heaven on earth for my family, human frailty and the fallen world found their way through my defenses.

As our farm increased in productivity and our operations expanded, the business demands grew more intense. During this time of external growth, as my attention was diverted elsewhere, a more personal trial emerged. Alicia began to struggle with her childhood illness of alcoholism. Her previously tempered coping mechanism increased over the years until it grew beyond her control and gradually destroyed our once-peaceful home. What started as an occasional concern became a pervasive challenge affecting every aspect of our family life. Medical interventions and recovery programs offered temporary hope but little lasting improvement.

The children, having been raised in an environment of prayer, harmony, and peace, struggled to understand their mom’s disruptive behavior. Our older kids, then in college, became increasingly reluctant to return home for visits—a heartbreaking development for a family that had always been exceptionally close. They grew up with God’s peace in our home and found it difficult to return to an environment where that peace had diminished.

The more I tried to restore harmony, the more complex our family dynamics became. I found myself stretched beyond my human ability. I was managing the farming operation, providing homeschooling lessons, planning meals and grocery shopping, driving kids to appointments, maintaining the now 250-acre property, and supporting Alicia throughout her illness, while trying to organize healthy activities for the children that were still at home. Each morning required two hours of concentrated prayer just to find the strength to forgive her and continue moving forward. The Eucharist, silent meditation, and spiritual counseling became my lifelines.

During this painful period, my nineteen-year-old daughter asked a question that pierced my exhausted heart: “Why, Daddy? Why does God allow all these problems in our family?”

As I pondered her question from the depths of my fatigue, the Holy Spirit provided an answer I couldn’t have formulated myself. “Because my precious daughter, it draws the love out of me and you in a way that is not otherwise possible.”

This profound truth gradually illuminated our struggles. The trials we faced weren’t meaningless suffering but powerful catalysts for deeper love. Like gold refined by fire, our family’s love was being purified through adversity. The ideal existence I crafted couldn’t produce the depth of compassion, patience, and sacrificial love that emerged through our suffering. Of all the family struggles and setbacks we had persevered through, nothing could compare to the devastating cross that approached. In the year 2020, when the kids were ages thirteen to twenty-three, we faced the unthinkable.

In God’s mercy, I received the news before the children, allowing me to prepare myself and them. Late that night, we gathered in our family room—the space where every important family decision, celebration, and crisis had been shared. I sat everyone down in pairs for our traditional ‘buddy-system’ and we began with a prayer, as we always had before. The prayer was especially devout that night, as was God’s presence, who joined us in our tears, our confusion, and in our disbelief as I explained to my kids that their mom had passed away earlier that day.

Their hearts shattered, but Jesus began piecing them back together, using fragments of His own sacred heart. He took pieces of Ali’s heart and gave them to Nina, while giving pieces of Tia’s heart to Ali. He continued this exchange among all the children while giving portions of my heart to each of them and in turn I received pieces of theirs. Through our devastating loss, we experienced a mysterious gain. Our Blessed Mother truly became the Mother of us all as she held us together in her Immaculate Heart.

“Do not forget that I am your Mother and that I love you.” (May 23, 1988)

Through this profound suffering, God purified my intentions. Before, even with all the hard work and sacrifices I made for my family and the ranch, my motives were mixed with selfishness. I wanted other families to live at Our Lady’s Ranch to provide friends for my children and help us with God’s work. But after our family was smashed, I completely lost that ambitious motivation.

God soon restored my desire to follow His will, but now with a purified heart unobstructed by selfish needs or wants. The suffering He permitted created in me a genuine desire to help other families experience the homesteading spirituality and lifestyle that God had shown me over a vast period of time. I now could understand more deeply why God had told me years earlier that “He was waiting for me.” The growth in virtue that He had planned for me could only come through the crucible of suffering.

“Definitely eliminate all anguish. Whoever abandons himself to God does not have room in his heart for anguish. Difficulties will persist, but they will serve for spiritual growth and will render glory to God.” (June 16, 1983)

Each cross that we receive from God contains a mystical beauty that might otherwise remain hidden. The tremendous blessing that God gave me through the painful cross of Alicia’s death has prompted me to offer myself to Him more fully and unselfishly for the benefit of families. What first appeared as only loss has been transformed, through grace, into a widened heart for serving the glory of God and the salvation of souls.

Many years ago, I had written in our initial founding documents that, “There will come a time when Catholic Family Homestead Communities become a socially accepted way of life, just as homeschooling has become a socially accepted way of education. Until that time, there must be several pioneers who undergo the prayer, planning, patience, and suffering that is required by God for any important Christian enterprise.” (OLR - Founding Documents)

I now understand the full meaning of that insight. Our suffering isn’t without purpose or disconnected from God. Rather, it is the very means through which God prepares us for His service, transforming our hearts so we can truly help others along the path He has planned for us.

A NEW BEGINNING

21 – A Catholic Match

Living at Our Lady’s Ranch has been a tremendous blessing for my family and all those who have lived here as well, but it hasn’t been easy. That has never bothered me though, because it has always been deeply rewarding. God has continued to teach me about family life and how to raise happy, healthy, and holy children in the midst of our current culture that can sometimes destroy them. And as I have watched the children grow from infants to toddlers, to boys and girls, to teenagers and young adults, to college students, spouses, and parents—I realize more and more that it is not good for a family to be alone.

Ancient wisdom captures a profound truth that our modern culture often overlooks. “It takes a village to raise a child.” Children naturally thrive when supported by a network of adults who share consistent values and expectations. Beyond having more hands to help with childcare, we need an environment where values are witnessed across multiple households, where boundaries are reinforced rather than undermined, and where children see their family’s way of life reflected in a broader community.

I have also learned that “It is not good for man to be alone.” (Genesis 2:18) So after a short period of time, I wanted to meet a lifelong love—a companion with whom I could share my Catholic faith, along with all my hopes and dreams of a virtuous life within a Catholic Family Homestead Community. But where does one search for such a uniquely special person? Ah, where else could I look (in our pandemic era) other than the online, Catholic Match!

So, to Catholic Match I went one evening, and then again four evenings in a row. I travelled in that virtual space from one country to the next, literally searching the world until finally, a beautiful woman emerged with a powerful description of virtue and desire. She was the one for me—Karen from Honduras! Who is this holy, exotic person? And what is her story? I wanted to know right away, so I sent her a message without delay. But as usual, God wasn’t going to let me have an answer too soon.

I looked for Karen’s reply the following day and then again the next day and the next until ten days had passed and reality began to settle in my disappointed heart. After several more days, I decided it was time for a retreat to pray and reflect and discern what God may be wanting for me. Maybe it was just my will to meet Karen and not God’s will at all… Or was it?

Then came a Saturday, exactly two weeks after my initial text to Karen. I began a retreat at home where I kneeled, sat down, stood up, walked around, and kneeled some more throughout the day in prayer, thanksgiving, and discernment. At the end of the day, I sat down in the prayer room and stared at the crucifix as I simply let go and let God. Humility, trust, and surrender had been my mantra, so I repeated it over and over with Jesus as he looked down at me from the cross. Yet, even though I felt His presence with me, I couldn’t help but feel lonely while hoping for an answer to my prayers.

I had discerned quite clearly that it was right for me to search for a counterpart, thinking that it was not good for me to be alone. But in my complete surrender to God, I began visualizing a consecrated, single life and sadly thought the words, “God, whatever is your will for me, I accept it. Even if you want me to be alone, may your will be done!”

The moment those thoughts finished in my head, not more than three seconds later my phone made a strange sound. I knew it wasn’t the normal text or email sound so my next thought was, “Maybe that’s Karen?” But then I began to laugh at myself as one teenager would laugh at another for such a silly thought. Yet, with curiosity getting the best of me, I grabbed my phone, turned it over, and couldn’t believe my eyes. Sure enough, it was a message from this amazing woman… Karen from Honduras!

She had written a very courteous and intriguing message. But before making a reply, I was still somewhat stunned, so I gazed back at Jesus to find Him smiling at me, and I at Him. “Okay Lord,” I said, “Remember those old movies when a friend hides behind the bushes whispering what to say? Okay then—How about a little help here?” So I prayed some more and then responded to Karen’s message with Jesus next to me ‘behind the bushes.’

I went to sleep that night with awe and wonder—awe for the loving kindness that God had shown me in His definite divine intervention, and wonder of the thrilling adventure I might discover with Karen. Nevertheless, I awoke the next morning somewhat melancholic, lacking desire. So I just remained in bed until I heard my phone beep, at which time I immediately jumped up to reach my phone thinking, “Maybe that’s Karen?” But it wasn’t. Yet that little experience spoke loudly to me. “Wow! That is certainly a confirmation of God’s will,” I thought. Excitement, enthusiasm, adventure, and life—all positive, affirming realities of discernment. God was calling me to remain in the married life of the laity, and He was using Karen’s cell phone to place the call.

Well, of course this was just the beginning of our relationship and we couldn’t have realized at the time what God had intended for us, but He didn’t take long to reveal His intentions. It was only a few minutes later when my phone sounded again, and this time it was Karen! Then text-reply, text-reply, text, text, text-reply, starting at about 7:30 am until we stopped to realize that it had become 1:00 am the following morning. We had continuously texted each other all day and night, with just a short pause for Mass and a meal. The excitement grew as both of our hearts lifted in the peace and joy of our relationship in God’s providence.

As we shared our stories, we both received silent tears of confirmation upon learning that it was not just me that surrendered to God’s will that lonely day. To my astonishment, Karen relayed the exact same condition of her own soul. The same Saturday that we found each other happened to be the same day that Karen also had given her heartfelt surrender to God.

Karen had prayed for many years for a good man to be her husband, and also a role model for her two girls, Emily and Camille. And the Saturday that she sent her first reply to my message happened to be Emily’s birthday. Upon finishing her time at Emy’s party that day, Karen silently excused herself to a remote room for prayer. And after saying a rosary, she found herself in a quiet, lonely mood, humbly surrendering herself to God’s will. She really wanted to find her soulmate, but with silent tears she resolved to accept God’s will, even if that meant being alone for the rest of her life.

But just as she finished that prayer, her phone sounded with a notification from Catholic Match. A fourteen day hold had just finished, so now she could view her messages! She proceeded to swipe off one message after another until she came to my message and somehow stopped there with intrigue. Something seemed different, so she paused and replied with a new happiness in her heart that she had never felt before. And that moment of Divine intervention started a chain reaction that continues to this day.

We texted and talked and face-timed together for several months, with all of our teenage kids calling us teenagers. We were having a blast and spending every day together, but always through virtual means. So we of course wanted to meet in person, but God made us wait a little longer. Between the travel restrictions of the Covid pandemic, along with two hurricanes that closed the Honduran airport, we couldn’t get together in person. Yet we knew that God had perfectly arranged all the timing for us, so we figured that He wanted us to develop a deeper friendship together before our first personal encounter.

After three months we finally met in Cancun, Mexico for a two week vacation that began our journey together with an amazing array of endearing enchantment. We enjoyed God’s will by enjoying each other in every element of His creation. We swam in the ocean and prayed on the beach. We laughed in the pool and danced in the street. We smiled at each other and praised God in each moment, knowing that His generosity brought us together and that His divine will always includes His love, peace, and joy.

So if you want to follow God’s will, and you’re wondering what it is… Look into your heart and discover the wondrous adventure that He has already placed within you. Search for the fire that

is already ablaze and pursue that dream that leads to life; and the love, peace, and joy that always comes with that life, because it is God living in you!

Karen and I are pursuing that life together, and it reached a beautiful moment in our marital vows to each other on July 22nd, 2023. And now, with the nourishment of prayer and the Sacraments, we continue to enjoy each other as we strengthen one another in God’s love and commitment. We also work together and minister to others together in the mission of Our Lady’s Ranch.

Central to our mission is our interior life, and the spirituality that inflames our hearts. Our first spiritual attraction occurred through the bond of Our Lady of Medjugorje. Before Karen knew anything of my past experiences with Our Lady, she planned a very special gift for me, insisting that it needed to remain secret until we first met in person. Quite naturally, she kept my attention around this special gift for several months, mentioning that she had ordered something from Europe, building my anticipation and future delight.

Karen wanted to surprise me with a meaningful gift, so she researched several online stores in Medjugorje. Then she selected several customized sacramentals, including two rosaries made of little rocks from the apparition site there, a blessed candle, and some holy cards, all organized in a clear plastic monogrammed box. She was already excited to give me this meaningful present, even before she knew about my connection to Medjugorje. So a few weeks before we finally met, I started talking about Medjugorje and the apparitions of Our Lady, while getting animated in my speech, yet Karen was left speechless. In her blessed enthusiasm, she could only utter a few simple words in her cute Spanish accent, “Just remember me those stories when we meet.”

And sure enough, when she presented the gift to me in Cancun that first day, my eyes lit up and my heart melted away in the peace of knowing that God’s hand was guiding Karen and me in every moment. And providentially, that’s the same feeling that pilgrims experience in Medjugorje—that sure knowledge that God is tangibly present, right there in the moment. “The Lord is near! Do not be anxious about anything. Instead, in every situation with prayer and petition with thanksgiving tell your requests to God. And the peace that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6)

God continued blessing us in His holy presence through Our Lady as we prayed our first rosary together on those special little rocks from Medjugorje. From the beginning of our relationship, Our Lady of Medjugorje has played a unique role in our union together, so we relish her messages as we continue to incorporate them into our daily life.

“Read every day the messages I gave you and transform them into life.” (Dec. 25, 1989)

22 – Medjugorje Miracles

We recently enjoyed a trip to Medjugorje together, filled with spiritual blessings and grace. It’s much easier to describe the physical miracles that occur there to some of the pilgrims, than to describe the profound interior miracles that happen there for all of the pilgrims. Yet, as we recall the noted miracles of Jesus when He walked with us on this earth, they were always preceded by an interior conversion of one degree or another. And He usually began His healing service with a proclamation of faith. “...all things are possible to him that believes.” (Mark 9:23)

In the same way, those who make a pilgrimage to Medjugorje with an open heart, desiring to receive God, will never be left wanting. Such was our recent experience as we travelled for more than twenty-four hours just to get there. After three plane flights and a long bus ride, there we were in the place where Our Blessed Mother has been appearing for over forty years, always bringing the peace of God with her.

We arrived at our hotel at night, which was positioned at the base of apparition hill, a mile or so away from the now famous, St. James Catholic Church. Almost immediately after stepping off the bus, someone in our group said that we were still in time for Eucharistic Adoration at the church. Karen and I received a little rush of energy and thought, “Great,” let’s go!!! So we quickly checked in, dropped our luggage in the room, and set off for the church in enthusiastic anticipation, like little children who haven’t seen their parents for a long while.

As we walked towards the church, I couldn’t help but experience the surreal joy that comes with arriving at a new destination, coupled with the mystical feeling of God’s holy presence. It had been twenty-five years since my last trip to Medjugorje, which for me was twenty-four years too long. The place had changed very much from dirt paths, open fields, and vineyards to rows of hotels on paved streets. But the spiritual opportunities remained similar, just waiting for us to engage in quiet prayer and reflection.

As we arrived at the church plaza, a blend of fond memories entered my mind while a profound depth of calmness entered my heart. God was preparing me for a serene encounter, yet for Karen, He had planned something even deeper for her time in adoration. Several months before our trip, Karen’s best friend Gi-Gi passed away. Not a semi-best friend, rather more like a big sister and mentor best friend. The bond of her relationship was troubled with a passing that left many questions that couldn’t be answered by anyone on earth, so God helped her find peace that night in heaven. And as usual, He worked in a way that was not a coincidence, but a God-incidence that can’t be fully explained, but I’ll try anyway.

The setup for adoration at St. James Church needs to account for pilgrims from all over the world, so they play hymns and chants during the evening exposition in various languages. And they rotate the music in several segments interweaving prayers and quiet moments. Well, after traveling, we finally arrived at the church with only ten minutes left in the adoration schedule, and the church was packed so Karen found a little tiny spot at the back in which to kneel. She couldn’t see much from that spot so God reached her through her ears. Within a few minutes, a beautiful melody arose that penetrated Karen’s heart. It was Gi-Gi’s song, and one that linked Karen and her with an unmistakable spiritual connection. Not only did the melody remind Karen of Gi-Gi, but the cantor began singing in Spanish, further exalting Karen’s heart in that blissful moment of the Divine presence. With full conviction of her mind, and a permanent imprint on her heart, the presence of Gi-Gi with God answered all the questions that Karen needed and her soul experienced the unmistakable peace of God.

After leaving the church, as we returned to the hotel later that night, we walked past a life-size statue of Our Lady that was surrounded by a low fence and a little garden. I couldn’t help but sense a familiar encounter with that area, but was too tired to figure out why. Upon opening the window shades of our room the next morning, I was pleasantly surprised to see the garden and statue below, just outside the entrance driveway to the hotel. So early that morning, well before our group came down for breakfast, I wandered out to the statue and sat on the bench next to it in prayer when a flood of knowledge and emotion came over me. Wow! I remembered the heavenly significance of that spot.

I couldn’t recognize the place at first because twenty-five years before, the statue was nestled far away from any buildings, in the middle of a wheat field. Actually, back then our tour group had to walk about a mile to visit the statue and hear of its importance. On one particular day in the beginning years of the apparitions, Our Lady appeared on that very spot, which was directly on top of a large, round and flat, stone-paved area that had a giant, cylindrical rock attached to a wood-lever device. It was a threshing floor, and the village workers would smash the wheat kernels and then separate the chaff from the wheat—an ancient scene right out of the Bible that was modern and normal to the residents of Medjugorje at the time.

Like all messages from heaven, it was no accident that Our Lady appeared there. It was a day and time soon after many of the residents went to the sacrament of Confession, and were now following one of the visionaries for a chance to participate in the time of apparition. As our Lady appeared, she granted a huge favor to the witnesses by allowing them to line up and touch her, which had never occurred before. As the people touched Our Lady, one by one, the visionary noticed that sometimes the touch left a black stain on Our Lady’s garment, while other people’s touches did not. So she asked why. Our Lady replied by explaining that those people who went to Confession that day were clean, but those who didn’t receive the Sacrament left the stain of their sins on her clothing—hence, the metaphorical place of a threshing floor where the chaff is separated from the wheat.

Medjugorje is an amazing place that Our Lady chose because of the holiness of its residents. The divine providence and devotion that preceded the apparitions has a story of its own. It started in 1933 when Pope Pius XI proposed that crosses be built on hills and mountain tops all over the world to commemorate the 1900th year of Jesus’ passion, death, and resurrection. Immediately upon his hearing, the pastor of Medjugorje’s St. James Church invited the parishioners to gather materials and supplies to build a cross at the top of the mountain that overlooks their village below. But he didn’t have in mind a small cross, or a wooden cross. Soon afterwards, the townspeople began to hand carry up the steep rocky slope (1700 ft), all the wood forms, steel reinforcing, concrete sacks, and water necessary for the construction of a 28 foot tall, 16-ton, massive, concrete cross that would forever after signify their deep love and gratitude of Jesus.

Another providential act in the history of Medjugorje that occurred well before the apparitions, regards the planning of the modern St. James Church, which began right after the Cross was finished in 1934. Back then, the village needed a new Catholic church building, but only a small one to house the few hundred parishioners. Yet, the pastor was inspired to make larger plans, even after much opposition from some of the congregation. The plans continued to grow into the 2,000 person church that exists today. Construction finally began in 1969, usable soon after, but not finally completed until 1980, just one year before the apparitions began. The back side of the church now includes an amphitheater-style altar and sanctuary that seats over 5,000 people. God works in mysterious ways!

The pilgrimage sites of Medjugorje include many apparition locations, miraculous encounters, and special holy areas—too many to mention, but I can share the following for a little taste of the holy ground that exists in the region. The village of Medjugorje sits in a valley farmland, surrounded by a mountainous area that includes Cross Mountain on one side, with Apparition Hill next to it, forming a triangle with St. James Church.

Pilgrim activities include hiking up Apparition Hill with lighted bronze plaques for all the mysteries of the rosary, culminating in a beautiful statue of Our Lady at the original apparition site. Another prayerful hike goes up Cross Mountain, with huge bronze sculpted Stations of the Cross, leading up to the giant concrete cross at its peak. Several statues across the landscape mark significant holy moments and places of apparitions where heaven has touched the earth in profound ways. One such place is called the Risen Christ, where a giant bronze statue of the risen Jesus stands and daily miracles occur. Out of the right knee of the Jesus statue, weeps an unidentified source of slow drip that is associated with many miraculous physical healings.

This Risen Jesus statue became Karen’s favorite place to visit throughout the trip. After she first discovered the statue, and the meaning behind it, she felt moved to visit Jesus there again and again. The first time she prayed there, two people came to heart, so she soaked the holy water coming from Jesus’ knee onto small handkerchiefs, planning to give them to her ailing friends back home. Then several minutes later, she was prompted to collect more of the same for others. Then, day after day, she returned to the statue continuing this exercise with dozens of tear-soaked handkerchiefs, ready to give them to all those in need. But something was now different. She strongly desired to help as many people as possible. Knowing Karen—she always wants to help people, and she always gives of herself. But now, it was more purely the Holy Spirit that was driving this interior desire of hers to pray for healings and visit those in need.

I believe that Karen’s response to our pilgrimage in Medjugorje is the fruit of Medjugorje—personal healing and the desire to give healing to others. Medjugorje reinvigorates our faith, while moving us to share that faith with others. Our prayers and sacrifices in this holy place are neither stagnant nor boring, rather vibrant with a deep sense of the Divine Presence including the peace and joy of God’s love. It may seem slow to an outsider, but an authentic and powerful experience of love is never boring—not even the love we share with each other, let alone the love that we receive from God through Our Lady in Medjugorje.

The effort we make to experience God’s love in Medjugorje is the same kind of effort we need to make in our everyday lives at home, in the workplace and on the playground. Our Lady wishes only the best for us and she knows that our best can only be found in God. So she continues speaking to all of us through the visionaries to invite us into a closer relationship with God. She implores us to make Him first in our lives.

“At this time, I especially desire to call you to decide for God. Put God in your lives and in your families in the first place.” (July 5, 2019)

In order to make God first in our lives, Our Lady gives us five simple things to include in our daily, weekly, and monthly activities. She asks us to incorporate God more fully into our lives by following five simple tasks, known by some as the Five Stones, named after the five smooth stones that David gathered to fight Goliath. These five stones are Prayer, Fasting, The Bible, Holy Mass, and Confession. Following are just a few samples of Our Lady’s messages regarding these precepts.

Prayer -

“Prayer will be your joy. If you make a start, it won’t be boring to you because you will be praying out of joy…” (March 20, 1986)

“Take your Rosary and get your children, your families with you. This is the way to come to salvation.” (February 2, 1990)

Fasting -

Renew fasting and prayer because satan is cunning and attracts many hearts to sin and perdition. I call you, little children, to holiness and to live in grace.” (October 25, 2012)

Along with your prayers and fasting, by His cross, my Son will cast away the darkness that wants to surround you and come to rule over you. He will give you the strength for a new life. (March 2, 2013)

“The best fast is on bread and water. Through fasting and prayer, one can stop wars, one can suspend the laws of nature. Charity cannot replace fasting.” (July 21, 1982)

The Bible -

“Dear children, today I call on you to read the Bible every day in your homes and let it be in a visible place so as always to encourage you to read it and to pray. (October 18, 1984)

“Every family must pray family prayer and read the Bible! Thank you for having responded to my call.” (February 14, 1985)

Holy Mass -

“May Holy Mass, little children, not be a habit for you, but life. By living Holy Mass each day, you will feel the need for holiness and you will grow in holiness.” (January 25, 1998)

“Dear children also today, in a special way, I desire to call you to the Eucharist. May the Mass be the center of your life. Especially, dear children, may the Eucharist be in your families. The family must attend the Holy Mass and give glory to Jesus.” (June 15, 2018)

Confession –

“You should go to Confession once a month.” (Ivan - 1985)

May Holy Confession be the first act of conversion for you and then, dear children, decide for holiness. May your decision for holiness begin today and not tomorrow. (November 25, 1998)

“Do not go to Confession through habit, to remain the same after it. No, that is not good. Confession should give an impulse to your faith. It should stimulate you and bring you closer to Jesus.” (November 7, 1983)

Above are some excerpts of Our Lady’s messages of Medjugorje, but to receive a fuller context with deeper spiritual insights, I invite you to review the Appendix for suggestions on further reading along with several movies and videos.

One unique aspect of daily life in Medjugorje is that most people living there hold God in the first place of their lives. Even the taxi drivers openly discuss the apparitions and are quite happy to reflect on the messages or share their own testimonies and insights. Life in Medjugorje is quite peaceful and happy, even for those who are busy working.

“It is necessary to extend the spirit of prayer to daily work, that is to say, to accompany work with prayer…” (June 16, 1983)

Now that we are home from Medjugorje, Karen and I continue praying and working to build on the grace we received there. We desire to live in the divine peace of Medjugorje and to share it with others through the simple life that is available at Our Lady’s Ranch. We provide visiting families, couples, singles, and even religious, examples of farming and homesteading activities along with the opportunity to live here at Our Lady’s Ranch.

Several housing options exist for people here at Our Lady’s Ranch, while infinite possibilities remain for those seeking this sustainable way of life in other locations. The following chapters further detail the ideals of a Catholic Family Homestead Community, while providing valuable insights for their future developments.

23 – A Sustainable Lifestyle

Over the decades of building Our Lady’s Ranch, we have discovered that true sustainability goes far beyond just organic farming and solar panels. While those environmental aspects matter, they are just one piece of a much bigger puzzle. For a Catholic Family Homestead Community to thrive long-term, it needs balance across these four key components:

1. Spiritual sustainability

2. Social sustainability

3. Economic sustainability

4. Environmental sustainability

These four primary elements are not merely my invention. They reflect the holistic nature of Catholic social teaching, which has always recognized that human flourishing requires both bread and blessing, both individual dignity and communal bonds. When any segment gets neglected, the whole system eventually suffers. But when all four components receive proper attention, they create a balanced environment where people can grow in faith, virtue, and joy.

Spiritual Sustainability: The Foundation

At the heart of any Catholic homestead must be Christ Himself. Without a spiritual foundation, even the most perfectly designed community will eventually crack and crumble. Sustainable spirituality requires an intentional prayer schedule with a sacramental life that nourishes each person’s relationship with God. “...pray, pray, pray – until prayer becomes a joy for you.” (December 25, 2000)

The daily rhythm at Our Lady’s Ranch supports opportunities for prayer in varying capacities for individuals, families, and/or the full community. These optional times for prayer are available for everyone, yet not forced on anyone. “I don’t wish to force anyone to do that which he neither feels nor desires…” (April 30, 1984)

The actual prayer schedule for those advanced in Our Lady’s Way of Salvation, includes seven times of prayer throughout the day, based on the philosophy of St. Benedict, who states about public prayer, “This is short and should be said at intervals… at seven distinct hours throughout the day, so that when possible, there shall be no great interval without a call to formal prayer.” (Dial. St. Gregory II, Intro in Migne, P.L. LXVI)

The position that Saint Benedict gave to common prayer can best be described by saying that he established it as the center of the common life… and was to be the source from which all other works took their inspiration, their direction, and their strength. (Hugh Ford, “St. Benedict of Nursia” The Catholic Encyclopedia, Vol 2 RAC 1907)

The seven available opportunities for prayer at Our Lady’s Ranch include specific intentions, drawn from Our Lady’s messages of Medjugorje. These various prayer times and intentions are described as follows:

(1) Pre-dawn meditations (Personal prayer - Contemplation),

(2) Morning Mass readings (Family prayer - Teaching and Formation),

(3) The 12:00 Angelus (Community prayer - For our Shepherds and the Church),

(4) The 3:00 Divine Mercy Chaplet (Community prayer - For Souls in Purgatory),

(5) Seven Hail Mary’s with grace before dinner (Family prayer - Intentions for youth),

(6) A Family Rosary in the evening (Family prayer - Intentions for families), and

(7) Bedtime reading (Personal prayer and Examination of Conscience).

I can’t emphasize enough that these prayer times are not intended to be rigid chains that choke our flexibility and independent spirit, rather simple opportunities to grow in our relationships with God and each other. We are laity, and as such we have obligations to care for children, perform household chores, and work to financially sustain ourselves. Therefore this schedule of prayer is merely a guide that for some folks works out nicely, yet for others it simply represents available options.

For example, a young family might only be able to assemble their children together for a few minutes and practice a little quiet time instead of a full Rosary in the evening. And maybe a family can pray a few of the seven prayer times one day, and a few others the next. I remember countless times that I needed to pause my prayer to change a diaper or settle the latest household ‘emergency.’ Yet God appreciates all of our meager attempts as we strive to live centered in Him by organizing our schedule around prayer instead of everything else.

Another important lesson I have learned is that spiritual sustainability requires balance between community prayer schedules and parish involvement. While we cherish our prayer times at home, we maintain active participation at our local parish for Sunday Mass, Sacramental preparation, and holy days of celebration. A solid parish connection prevents both isolation and spiritual pride that can develop in intentional communities. We always need to have a ministerial outreach so we don’t reside in selfishness, and then become prideful within our own self-serving egos. So as we receive God’s grace through the prayer and charity of our own community, we must bring that grace into our parish community. Then we can receive God’s grace from the prayer and Sacramental life of our parish and bring it home to our family and community.

Social Sustainability: The Human Connection

We are made for relationships—with God and with each other. The isolation of our modern culture runs counter to our very nature, which explains why so many people today feel lonely despite being constantly ‘connected’ through technology.

Social sustainability in a Catholic Family Homestead Community occurs through shared interests in activities that build authentic relationships. The principal five activities that form the backbone of a healthy family life and a sustainable community life are listed as follows:

●      Praying together – creating spiritual bonds

●      Working together – building trust through shared goals

●      Eating together – nourishing bodies and relationships

●      Playing together – creating joy and light-heartedness

●      Resting together – enjoying genuine leisure

When these activities happen naturally within a family or a community, relationships deepen without force or awkwardness. We have found that intentionally incorporating all five of these interactions into daily life creates a resilient social fabric that can withstand challenges within each family and throughout the whole community.

Creating social sustainability requires balancing family autonomy with communal support. Each family maintains its distinct identity and primary responsibility for raising children, while the community provides reinforcement of shared values. This means respecting differences in parenting approaches while maintaining agreement on fundamental principles.

Another practical aspect of social sustainability is the critical mass needed for certain activities. With enough families in close proximity, resources like music teachers, sports events, and educational opportunities become more accessible. With seven kids, we had enough critical mass in our one family to bring our piano teacher to our house for the day rather than us taking all the kids to town. That type of convenience represents an efficient aspect of sustainable living.

Economic Sustainability: Fair Distribution

Economic sustainability in a Catholic Family Homestead Community means creating systems that fairly distribute resources, work, and rewards while supporting the community’s long-term viability. Complete communal ownership typically doesn’t work, but sharing some resources of property and equipment while remaining financially autonomous strikes a fine balance for certain economic advantages.

Shared enterprises create economic sustainability when structured fairly. For example, one household can manage some laying hens, selling eggs to other community members at wholesale prices while earning income from external sales. Another family can manage a milking cow, receiving their own milk without cost, while providing milk at wholesale prices to participating families and selling surplus at retail prices. These arrangements distribute work equitably while providing essential products to all.

Economic sustainability also requires balancing internal and external income sources. Most families maintain some connection to the broader economy through professional work, skilled trades, or entrepreneurship. This creates resilience during difficult agricultural seasons while bringing diverse skills into the community.

Each household needs to maintain its own financial independence with individuals receiving the financial rewards that are commensurate with the degree of training that was invested in their own occupations. And each individual and family needs to remain accountable for their own decisions, including the financial consequences of their actions, whether lucrative or not. And these outcomes must remain appreciated and respected by all others in the community, whether rich or poor, so that no one judges another by the wealth they have or the lack thereof.

Environmental Sustainability: Regenerative Farming

Environmental sustainability means creating systems that don’t deplete resources but actually regenerate them. In practical terms, this involves reducing outside inputs by creating closed-loop systems where waste from one process becomes input for another. For example, we compost all the chicken droppings which become organic fertilizer for the vegetable garden beds.

The foundation of our environmental sustainability is our approach to raising healthy livestock. We begin with cleanliness, including clean water from the Sierra Nevada Mountains, clean air from the Pacific westerly breeze, clean sunshine from the Northern California climate, clean pastures with chemical-free forage, and clean animals free of any added hormones, antibiotics, or genetically modified organisms.

Our rotational grazing system creates a regenerative cycle that improves both animal health and soil fertility. The cattle graze first, eating the top two-thirds of the pasture grasses while naturally fertilizing the land. After they move to fresh paddocks, we bring in poultry. The chickens and turkeys eat insects and larvae while spreading the manure, providing natural pest control and fertilization in one process.

The pigs follow with their own contribution, grunting and rooting around, especially for acorns. They aerate the soil and help manage the removal of larger bugs. Then come the sheep—our living weed-whackers. Sheep like grasses that are more fibrous and ones that cows don’t like. So that makes for a nice complementary diet as they clean up all the weeds in the pastures.

Unlike conventional agriculture that pushes for maximum growth speed, we allow animals to develop at their natural pace. Our heritage breed chickens take 12-14 weeks to reach harvest weight instead of the 6-7 weeks of modern varieties, but the resulting meat is significantly more nutritious and flavorful.

Most farms try to grow every animal as fast as possible because that uses less feed and labor, meaning more profit. But with our natural pastures, we’re not focused on shorter growing time, but healthier growing that produces the most nutrient-dense meat possible. We carefully avoid practices that compromise animal or human health.

Integration: How the Four Components Work Together

The real power of sustainable Catholic homesteading appears when all four of these elements work together. Consider our community milking cow arrangement:

Spiritually, the daily milking routine incorporates a quiet morning prayer in the midst of God’s creation, connecting this physical task to spiritual growth.

Socially, the arrangement creates opportunities for families to work together and teach children valuable skills. When the primary milking family needs a break, others step in, strengthening the community bonds.

Economically, the arrangement provides fresh milk at a reasonable cost while fairly rewarding those doing the work. The family managing the cow receives milk for their labor plus income from surplus sales.

Environmentally, the cow’s manure fertilizes the pastures, and keeping production local eliminates transportation impacts and packaging waste.

When imbalances develop, they typically affect multiple dimensions at once. Spiritual disconnection often leads to social friction, which impacts economic cooperation, eventually affecting environmental practices. Recognizing these interconnections helps us catch problems early and address root causes rather than just symptoms.

The beauty of this integrated lifestyle is that strengthening one component typically improves the others. When spiritual life flourishes, social relationships deepen. When social bonds strengthen, economic cooperation becomes more fruitful. When economic arrangements work fairly, people have more capacity to care for the environment. And when the environment thrives, it nourishes spiritual appreciation, thus circling all motion back to our Creator.

24 – A Unifying Spirituality

Through our trials and joys, including loss and renewal, we have learned that proximity alone doesn’t create community. Families can live on neighboring properties for decades and remain strangers, while people separated by continents can share profound spiritual connection. What matters most is alignment around fundamental values and shared understandings of daily practices—not rigid uniformity, but enough common ground to meaningfully journey together.

Developing a new way of life begins with a new philosophy about how to live. Small groups of people practicing a common spirituality and lifestyle can support one another in faith, family, and farming while developing bonds of love and service. This is how the early Church began, and how I believe Catholic Family Homestead Communities will flourish today.

When visitors ask about the ‘secret’ to building a successful Catholic community, they are often surprised by my answer. It’s not about finding the perfect property or even about developing the most lively spirituality, though both are important. It’s about creating a shared understanding of how we approach everything from saying prayers to using technology to sharing equipment.

Each different community can develop different rhythms of prayer, work, and social activities, which will be most conducive to the members of that particular community. The most important aspect of any community is not the particular rhythms they incorporate, but the common understandings and flexibility of the members, which creates the invisible foundation upon which families can flourish according to their unique callings.

The development of what we now call our formation program, “A Way of Salvation” has its own story—one that illustrates how community understandings often emerge from concrete situations rather than abstract planning. I clearly remember the catalyst that prompted me to articulate our implicit values and practices more explicitly by writing them down!

During a time when grandma and grandpa had come to stay in our granny unit, bringing love for our kids, they also brought different values around media consumption, specifically television. This created an uncomfortable dilemma. We valued both respect for elders and protection of our children from influences we considered harmful. How could we navigate this tension without damaging relationships? The situation revealed that even well-intentioned family members needed a better understanding of our values and resulting lifestyle.

I retreated to pray about this challenge, fasting on bread and water for nine days. During this time of intense prayer, I began writing what would become our family’s guiding principles. My intention was not to impose rules on others, but to clarify the values and practices that defined our way of life. These guidelines became a reference point for conversations with anyone who might live with us or visit for extended periods.

Over the years, as different households joined us temporarily or longer-term, this document evolved through lived experience. We discovered which aspects needed more clarity, which allowed more flexibility, and how to present these understandings while inviting conversation rather than demanding compliance.

Today, when families express interest in Our Lady’s Ranch, we share these guidelines not as a requirement for admission but as an invitation to discern compatibility. This isn’t something we impose on visitors, but something that will either resonate with candidates or it will not.

The foundation of our community life lies in placing Christ at the center through intentional prayer rhythms. When we first moved to the ranch, we established a pattern of prayer times that became anchors in our day, much like the bells that once called medieval villagers to prayer. They remind us that our work, our conversations, and our struggles all belong ultimately to God.

I recall the period when Fr. Eckley lived with us, celebrating daily Mass in our family room. There’s something transformative about receiving the Eucharist at home, and then walking directly to work. Integrating the Sacraments with homeschooling, farming, and recreation creates a seamless experience of faith, family, and farming that physically unifies our life in Christ.

Yet we also recognized the importance of parish involvement. Some communities become so focused on their internal spiritual life that they separate from the broader Church. We have always maintained active participation in Sunday Mass, Sacramental preparation, and holy days of celebration at our parish, ensuring that our children understand themselves as part of the universal Church, beyond our particular community.

This balance extends to our approach for spiritual formation. We draw heavily from Our Lady’s messages from Medjugorje, finding in them practical wisdom for daily family life. These messages take complex spiritual truths and express them in ways that ordinary families can implement. “God will contribute to lead to a successful end the things of here below if one strives to work for God’s things.” (June 16, 1983)

Family as Domestic Church

The most beautiful and peaceful way of family life ever expressed on earth was lived by the Holy Family. Present in that holy household were Saint Joseph – the most just, prudent, and charitable man who ever lived, our Blessed Mother Mary – who is full of the living presence of God, and Jesus – who is God. This supernatural arrangement of familial relationships mirrors the familial bonds within the Holy Trinity.

We desire to experience an authentic family life, so we must build our way of life upon the foundation set by the Holy Family. As individuals, we must identify with one of the members of the Holy Family. As a community, we must pattern our relationships after those exemplified in the Holy Family. The tangible reality of these supernatural bonds may be expressed in a general way through our commitment to help each other get to heaven. And we model the relationships of the Holy Family in a particular way through our daily interactions with one another.

From our earliest days at Our Lady’s Ranch, we recognized the family as the fundamental building block of society. The community exists to support families in their mission as domestic churches, not to replace or undermine their own unique responsibilities.

This principle manifests practically in our approach to prayer, education, work, and authority. Parents serve as primary educators of their children—not just academically but in faith formation and character development. While families share certain educational resources and activities, each family maintains the responsibility for their own children’s education and formation.

Homeschooling provides a natural approach, allowing integration of faith throughout learning while providing flexibility for each family’s needs and strengths. Some families utilize classical methods, while others follow unschooling models, all within a shared understanding of moral formational standards.

Our view of children’s participation in work also flows from this family-centered perspective. Meaningful work provides children with essential formation that no curriculum can replace. From collecting eggs to splitting firewood (with appropriate supervision and age-appropriate tasks), children develop capability, confidence, and purpose while connecting to real work.

This approach stands in stark contrast to modern childhoods filled with artificial activities and entertainment. The children raised at Our Lady’s Ranch develop practical skills, work ethic, and natural confidence through their genuine contributions rather than a manufactured entitlement.

Simplicity and Detachment: Freedom for What Matters Most

The spiritual tradition of simplicity runs deep in Catholic history, from the Holy Family to St. Francis of Assisi to modern saints like Mother Teresa. At Our Lady’s Ranch, we have realized that agrarian life naturally fosters material simplicity while creating space for spiritual and relational richness.

This simplicity isn’t about deprivation but the freedom of owning our possessions rather than being owned by them. We aim to use material goods as tools for human flourishing rather than allowing them to become distractions or attachments that compete with deeper values.

We have found that living with material simplicity often leads to greater appreciation for what we do have. Rather than constantly acquiring new possessions, children learn to value quality over quantity. They develop gratitude for simple pleasures and recognize that relationships and experiences provide deeper satisfaction than material accumulation.

The agrarian context naturally reinforces these values. When we grow our own food, we develop profound appreciation for the tomato we nurtured from seed to harvest. When we repair rather than replace equipment, we develop different attitudes towards material goods than the current disposable culture encourages.

Wholesome simplicity creates margin—financial margin that reduces dependence on constant income, time margin that allows for relationships and prayer, and attention margin that permits deeper engagement with what truly matters. And simplifying our material life helps orient our hearts toward eternal treasures, “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” (Matthew 6:21).

From the earliest days at Our Lady’s Ranch, I have observed an agricultural way of life that produces natural rhythms that deeply connect us to creation, and through it to our Creator. Seasonal rhythms shape our work calendar including spring planting, summer tending, fall harvesting, and winter planning. These farming practices structure family life around natural cycles rather than artificial schedules.

For children especially, these natural rhythms provide security and meaning often lacking in modern childhoods. My kids experienced time as cyclical rather than merely linear, participating in recurring festivals and labors that connected them to both past and future. They developed patience watching plants grow and animals mature, counteracting the instant gratification that pervades our modern culture.

An agrarian lifestyle naturally teaches stewardship—not abstract environmentalism but practical care for land and animals. Children learn that our actions have effects beyond immediate results, sometimes extending years into the future. A person who plants an apple tree understands what it means to work for future generations.

God’s Providential Care: Receiving Everything as Gift

We receive everyone and everything in the spirit of gift, for all is truly a gift from God. God is our true Father, and He is our primary Formator. He allows everything to happen to us (whether it appears to be good or bad) in order to mold us into the image of His Son, Jesus. “Yet, O Lord, You are our Father. We are the clay, You are the Potter; we are all the work of Your Hand.” (Isaiah 64:8)

So we do not scoff at people when we meet them, sickness when it comes, or even poor weather, for we recognize the presence of God in all these things, and we thank Him for paying attention to us and using these things to bring us into a greater share of His love. For we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him. (Romans 8:28)

In order to recognize every person and each occurrence as gift, one must “Seek first the Kingdom of Heaven…” (Matthew 6:33) Therefore, we try to live in a spirit of detachment, minimizing expectations, preferences, selfishness, regret, and judging others. In this way we become free from self, thus available to receive everything as a gift from God.

We do not worry about the future because we trust in God’s providence. We do not regret the past because we trust in God’s mercy. So all that remains is for us to enjoy our daily gifts from God that we find in each moment. That is why we call each new moment, “the present.”

“Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are imperfect, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give to those who ask Him!” (Luke 11:11)

Obedience to Relationships: Enjoying Graced Friendships

We understand that when judgment comes, the only thing that will remain from this current world (outside of our own souls) is the love that we had shared with each other. We will remain (our memory, intellect, and will) along with the only lasting result… the love that we gave to God and others, as made tangible by something we call, Relationships. So how we ‘relate’ to each other on earth begins the eternal relationships that we will enjoy in heaven.

Sometimes we encounter a person who we really connect with—a kindred spirit. Thus begins a Graced Friendship where a supernatural bond develops to connect two people in the love of Christ. A pure, filial relationship then enables each person to unselfishly help the other get to heaven. We aspire to dwell with each other in this way of ‘graced friendships’, where we give ourselves to one another as Jesus gives Himself to us. “No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” (John 15:13)

We move in obedience to our relationships with each other, so when someone asks us to do something, we do it. When someone asks us to help them, we help. When someone asks us to pray for them, we pray. And when someone asks us for mercy, we forgive. We do not move out of servile fear as from a master/slave relationship, rather we move out of love, as Jesus taught us. “If anyone asks you to go with him one mile, go with him for two.” (Matthew 5:41)

And to truly live as the Holy Family did, we do not even wait to be asked, for we anticipate the needs of the people around us, and offer ourselves to them before anything is requested. The best model for this extraordinary charity comes from Our Lady, who lived in the fullness of charity. She lived perfect selflessness, which means that she never put herself first. She was always aware of her surroundings, and remained completely free to consider everyone else’s needs before her own. She thus moved in obedience to relationships, and thereby enjoyed the abundance of grace present in every moment. “I came so that you may have life more abundantly.” (John 10:10)

Grace of the Moment: Living in God’s Grace

God has it so arranged that in every moment of our life, we have certain graces available to us. Every time that we move in ‘Obedience to Relationships’, we always receive a Grace of the Moment that is given to us, and anyone else involved.

For example: A father is working at his paying job at home one day. This man is providing for his family under a somewhat stressful occupation that requires a certain accuracy of work and deadline for its completion. Then along comes little Suzie, who at six years old just finished coloring a ‘masterpiece’, and is so excited to show it to daddy that she runs up to him at his desk exclaiming, “Look daddy, look!”

Without having any idea of this concept of obedience to relationships, the father’s first reaction is some form of, “Not now, daddy’s busy.” And if the child persists in her request, a more violent tone would naturally ensue, “Can’t you see I’m busy with something important here.” And so little Suzie hangs her head while walking off, crinkles up the picture and throws it on the floor. A few minutes later, with curiosity getting the best of him, the father gets up from his desk and picks up the crumpled paper. He then wells up in tears as he reads, “To My Hero.”

So what just happened was not a grace of the moment but a grace lost. Grace for the father was lost, and the child walked away damaged rather than lifted up. Now the side-point is that a childhood of situations like this will ruin a child forever. But conversely, when situations like this are treated with obedience to relationships, the outcome will be filled with grace to generate self-esteem, peace, and joy.

So let’s give that father a second chance, and this time he remembers that everything is a gift from God, even an interruption of his work. So he notices little Suzie approaching, and this time he puts his pen down and immediately looks over at her. Here comes little Suzie bouncing along with the biggest grin he’s ever seen, so he can’t help but smile and laugh because she’s just so funny. And for a minute, he leaves the stress on his desk and even forgets what he was so anxious about. Then little Suzie flashes this silly array of colors on paper, which doesn’t look like much to the father until he reads the words, “To My Hero.”

And now, with the most intense smile in his heart, he realizes that he’s the most colorful element in this little person’s life. Then, overcome with emotion, he congratulates his little daughter and tapes her silly picture above his desk, right in front of his business notes, which symbolically demonstrates to the child that she is way more important than anything else (because she already knows that daddy’s work is important).

So little Suzie skips off full of self-esteem and full of happiness and life. And the father returns to his work in complete peace thinking, “Now what was I so concerned about?” And it just so happens that as he glances up at the funny little picture he received from his daughter, he realizes that the missing ingredient to the advertising slogan he was so worried about is the word, ‘color’.

Every moment contains grace—sometimes tears, sometimes laughter, sometimes power, and sometimes peace; but always grace—given to anyone and everyone who desires it.

Community Relationships: Love and Forgiveness

Living as close neighbors, while owning some common property and sharing some common goals together requires intentional practices to maintain healthy relationships. We acknowledge human weakness while striving for virtuous interaction, recognizing that community life provides both challenges to personal comfort and opportunities for spiritual growth.

Our spirituality emphasizes living in the peace of Christ by sharing His love, forgiveness, and joy. We strive to love unconditionally as Jesus does, seeing the goodness in others rather than dwelling on their faults. Jesus looks upon all of us with unconditional love, which means that He does not judge us in His gaze, but only enjoys our silly ways. He doesn’t see our faults, only our goodness. This perspective transforms how we approach inevitable tensions. We practice forgiveness not as an occasional response to major offenses, but as a daily spiritual discipline that sustains community.

“You will be happy if you do not judge yourselves according to your faults, but if you understand that even in your faults graces are offered to you.” (May 12, 1986)

Early in our community experience, we discovered that unaddressed issues quickly fester into resentment. When conflicts arise, we address them directly but with gentleness, recognizing that forgiveness requires both humility and patience (virtues essential for a peaceful community life). This willingness to address difficulties directly while maintaining charity distinguishes a healthy community from a superficial association. We have learned that community endures not through absence of conflict but through commitment to reconciliation and growth through challenges.

Technology and Media: Creating Space for Human Flourishing

In a world where screens dominate most households, our limited technology is refreshingly countercultural. Without the constant distraction of screens and electronic entertainment, our children develop deeper creativity and more meaningful social connections. They learn to entertain themselves, create their own games, and engage with the natural world around them.

The absence of constant stimulation creates space for the natural wonder and imagination of children. Certainly, we use appropriate technology for business, education, and communication, but we maintain intentional boundaries that ensure space for human relationships, engagement with the physical world, and the silence necessary for spiritual growth.

Our communal approach acknowledges that maintaining healthy technology boundaries requires shared values and mutual support. When multiple families commit to similar standards, children don’t constantly compare themselves unfavorably to peers with unlimited access. The specific boundaries each family implements may vary according to circumstances and children’s ages. What matters most is the shared understanding that technology serves human flourishing rather than replacing authentic experience with virtual substitutes.

Catholic Culture: Reclaiming Our Heritage

At Our Lady’s Ranch, we strive to live in accordance with the liturgical calendar. We desire to cultivate our rich Catholic heritage through meaningful family traditions. This cultural approach promotes many celebrations in addition to Christmas and Easter. Like All Saints Day, when the kids dress up as their favorite saint and play games to win prizes. For the December 6th feast day of St. Nicholas, the kids all put a shoe out in front of the fireplace the night before, and we fill them up with treats. Other examples can include St. Lucy’s Day with its crown of candles, and the May crowning of flowers for Our Lady. These observances create tangible connections to our Catholic identity while providing natural opportunities for teaching children about saints and salvation history.

We integrate the rich visual Catholic culture into our daily life by adorning our walls with sacred paintings, and embellishing some rooms with traditional statues of Jesus and Mary. We enjoy Christian worship music and sometimes play ancient chants as well. We encourage the kids to decorate their rooms with at least some religious art, which generally includes a variety of crosses and sacred souvenirs. These elements form the imagination and create an immersive Catholic environment that shapes our understanding more than religious instruction alone.

These cultural practices aren’t merely sentimental but formational. They create a Catholic identity robust enough to withstand the secular culture’s constant pressure. Children who grow up immersed in a living Catholic culture develop deeper roots than those who experience faith primarily as classroom instruction or rules to follow.

The spiritual guidelines and lifestyle practices that we have developed at Our Lady’s Ranch reflect our particular charism and calling. Other communities may discern different guidelines while maintaining fidelity to Catholic teaching and tradition. What matters most is that members create a common understanding that determines a written set of guidelines for a way of life that maintains a certain amount of flexibility within its structure.

The spiritual concepts written above represent a few samples of our spirituality at Our Lady’s Ranch, entitled, A Way of Salvation. The complete document of our spirituality can be found on the following link…

25 – Ownership and Membership

When people ask about Catholic Family Homestead Communities, they often focus on farming practices and economics. These aspects matter, but the methods of ownership and governance are the most important components for long term success. Without them, even the most devout group will eventually face unexpected struggles that can undermine their shared vision.

God’s design for human communities has always included governing leadership. From the family (our first and foundational community) to the Church herself, healthy order supports authentic freedom. After years of experimentation and prayer, we have developed approaches to ownership and governance that honor both Catholic social teaching and the practical realities of a family centered agrarian lifestyle.

The first Christian community initially “Held everything in common,” (Acts 4:32) but this model changed relatively quickly. When people don’t have personal ownership, motivation inevitably wanes. The same person who meticulously maintains their own garden may show little concern for community property that ‘belongs to everyone.’

This reality doesn’t contradict Catholic social teaching, rather it confirms it. The Church has long taught that private property provides essential security for families while emphasizing that all property carries social responsibility. Pope Leo XIII articulated this balance in Rerum Novarum, and subsequent popes have developed this teaching into a rich tradition that navigates between the extremes of collectivism and unbridled individualism.

We resonate particularly with the distributist vision championed by G.K. Chesterton and Hilaire Belloc. They advocated for property to be owned by many families rather than consolidated into only corporate or government hands. They understood that widespread ownership creates both material security and spiritual freedom for families to live according to their values.

As Fr. Vincent McNabb explained in his writings on the Catholic Land Movement, “The home is the social defense of liberty and the homestead is the economic defense of the home.” This insight guides our development of legal agreements for an ownership that balances individual freedom with communal solidarity.

At Our Lady’s Ranch, we have created a legal structure that embodies these principles while addressing practical concerns that (a) accommodate different financial circumstances, (b) provide mechanisms for members to join or leave the community, and (c) maintain the integrity of our shared vision over generations.

Ownership Structure

After much prayer and consultation, we have developed the property of Our Lady’s Ranch into several home sites that reside within a large common area. The legal format of this arrangement allows every community member the opportunity to own their own home on the property. Rather than purchasing a large piece of farmland (which usually costs an exorbitant amount of money), several families can each lease a private site for their own home, while sharing the use of a larger rural area with agricultural improvements like irrigation pipes and fencing already completed.

Each family that builds or purchases its own home remains responsible for its own maintenance, taxes, and insurance. Each family also contributes to the property taxes and upkeep of the shared land, while participating in a farm club membership that promotes the common values and goals of the community. This creates a balanced approach to the ownership of an individual home with the shared use of a communal property. Each family therefore enjoys the security and freedom of their own home, while using a larger agrarian landscape that would otherwise be unaffordable.

The OLR property development plan includes additional real-estate opportunities for families, including the purchase of adjacent land parcels or nearby homes, or simply renting a home on site. In this way, the OLR Farm Club Membership accommodates different economic situations. Some families joining us will have worked for many years and accumulated substantial savings, while others will just be starting out with minimal resources. Therefore, membership options include land/home ownership, land lease with home ownership, and land/home rentals in order to create opportunities for several economic situations, without creating second-class citizens.

Generational Land Leases

Our Lady’s Ranch, LLC owns approximately 160 acres of property in Grass Valley, California. The property development plan designates 8 home sites that are available for lease to allow families to build their own home on the property. Leases are lifelong with continuous options to renew for the benefit of families to create value in their own home and retain that value for future generations. Each family is also free to sell their home and receive any profits earned, based on the equity they established in the home.

All leases are recorded, upon which time all property taxes, insurance, construction, and maintenance are paid by each particular family for each particular home site. Each lease requires a monthly payment to Our Lady’s Ranch, LLC for the purpose of building and maintaining the gravel roadways that access each home site from the nearest county road.

Each leaseholder shall benefit from using the access and utilities easements of Our Lady’s Ranch. Each leaseholder shall also benefit from the farming and recreational opportunities available on the property through a membership with Our Lady’s Ranch Farm Club, which defines the “Designated Areas and Terms of Use” and the “House Rules” for participation. The farm club charges a fee for membership and use of the property in order to pay for the overall costs of the property, including the property taxes, insurance, and maintenance, along with any future land developments.

In order to establish a certain quality of design and construction of the private homes at Our Lady’s Ranch, along with normal standards of property maintenance, the property utilizes a document called “Conditions, Covenants, and Restrictions” to protect the value of each home. To further protect all leaseholders, Our Lady’s Ranch will retain a “First Right of Refusal” so that when a leaseholder desires to sell their home, OLR can find a buyer that is suitable to the rest of the community.

Prayer Centered Leadership

At Our Lady’s Ranch, we recognize that our true leadership begins with God and flows through our Blessed Mother’s guidance. Our community places itself under Our Lady’s protection and direction, so our spirituality shapes our practical governing approach. We maintain a hierarchy that balances clear authority with collaborative discernment. Decisions for daily operations rest with an executive director (Our Lady’s Representative) while larger decisions involve varying levels of a majority, approved through a community vote.

Selecting the right person to serve as Our Lady’s Representative requires discernment beyond mere management skills. We look for someone who demonstrates Our Lady’s love for all neighbors—someone tireless in service, patient with weakness, forgiving of mistakes, and willing to suffer for the good of others. This person must be advanced in virtue, particularly humility and patience, while remaining responsive to threats against the community.

The fruits of the Holy Spirit must be evident in the daily life of the representative, including the virtues of charity, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, generosity, gentleness, faithfulness, modesty, self-control, and chastity. Without these spiritual qualities, even the most intelligent person would struggle to maintain the harmony needed for a flourishing community.

Drawing wisdom from St. Benedict’s Rule for monastic communities, we understand that the representative must govern through example more than words. Our Lady’s Representative must adapt his/her relational approach to different personalities (gentleness with some and firmness with others) always seeking the welfare of souls entrusted to his/her care. Rather than focusing on material concerns, the representative must remember to “Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be given you besides” (Matthew 6:33).

Decision-Making Hierarchy

The current ownership of Our Lady’s Ranch is privately held in a limited liability company. However, in order to create a more long-term and balanced governing system in the future, the property will be donated into a separate non-profit entity. After establishing the community of leaseholders and landowners who will live in and around the property, the governance structure of Our Lady’s Ranch will merge into a board of directors, where the leaseholders and landowners will become the decision makers of the organization.

To provide additional perspective and appropriate checks on authority, we have established a Hierarchy of Approvals that assigns different types of decisions to different levels of consensus:

Operational decisions regarding daily activities, maintenance, and general community functioning rest with Our Lady’s Representative. This allows for efficient management without burdening the entire community with routine matters.

Decisions involving construction projects, maintenance expenses, and monetary spending require a simple majority vote (55%). This ensures financial clarity while maintaining practical momentum.

Decisions about who joins the community or who can visit for extended periods requires a stronger consensus of a major majority vote (75%). This higher threshold recognizes the profound impact new members have on community life.

Fundamental changes to our governing bylaws require a super majority vote (85%), ensuring that core principles remain stable while allowing for necessary evolution.

This staged approach for approvals prevents both the paralysis that can come from requiring unanimous consent for every decision and the potential problems that arise from concentrated authority. It also respects the principle of subsidiarity—decisions are approved by those most directly affected by them.

Our Lady’s Council

To assist Our Lady’s Representative, we have established Our Lady’s Council comprising household leaders according to specific criteria. The Council serves the community by keeping the Representative informed about community developments, warning of potential dangers, and participating in the election of new leadership when necessary. The Council will eventually become the Board of Directors of the new non-profit entity, initially gaining practice and confidence to direct the future organization.

Each council member shall provide a specific administrative duty like hospitality, facility management, photography, communications, or bookkeeping, just to name a few. This distribution of responsibilities gives each household meaningful participation in community operations, while creating opportunities to work together thus promoting unity.

The council meets regularly for prayer and discussion, bringing concerns and suggestions from each household. These gatherings aren’t merely administrative, so they begin with a scriptural reflection and invite divine guidance before addressing practical matters. Our prayer intentions unify us in the Holy Spirit, while discerning God’s will through Our Lady’s intercession.

When conflicts arise, we follow Jesus’s guidance in Matthew 18:15-17, beginning with private conversation between affected parties, then involving witnesses if needed, and finally bringing persistent issues before the wider community. This graduated approach respects privacy while ensuring that serious matters receive appropriate attention.

Managing Shared Resources

One of the many advantages of community life is the ability to share resources and create small scale enterprises that benefit everyone. However, without clear agreements, these opportunities can become sources of tension. So we utilize practical approaches to sharing that maintain both fairness and flexibility. The OLR Farm Club provides clear guidelines for the shared costs and use of our tractors, processing equipment, and specialized tools. Through the farm club program, each family contributes a specific monthly amount towards the maintenance of these common resources, according to their use. This makes economic sense because no family needs exclusive ownership of a tractor that they only use occasionally, yet everyone benefits from having access when needed.

Our shared enterprises also benefit the entire community by allowing greater rewards for greater efforts. When one family takes primary responsibility for the laying hens, for example, they receive the benefits of free eggs for their household while selling surplus eggs to other families at wholesale prices. This creates appropriate incentives because the family managing the chickens has reason to care for them well, while everyone in the community can enjoy fresh eggs at a reasonable cost.

The same approach works for our dairy cow. The family managing the milking receives milk for their labor plus income from selling surplus to others. And when they need a vacation, another family steps in and receives the milk during that period. This arrangement distributes both benefits and responsibilities fairly while creating natural opportunities for families to help one another. And most importantly, this communal arrangement gives each working family a certain flexibility that individual farming enterprises lack.

These micro-enterprises create a simple economy within the community. They reduce costs for goods while providing bonding opportunities beyond purely social activities. Having a system of shared work teaches families to solve problems together and establish equitable arrangements based on actual contributions rather than abstract ideals.

We have learned that conventional currency remains useful within the community—not as the ultimate measure of value, but as a tool for creating fair exchanges. When an individual and/or family contributes specific work or products, they deserve appropriate compensation, which can then support their other needs. This clarity minimizes any resentment that could otherwise develop in communities that attempt to function without economic boundaries.

Entry, Exit, and Transition Processes

New members join Our Lady’s Ranch through a discernment process that benefits both the applicant and the existing community. Prospective members typically begin with extended visits, participating in daily rhythms to experience community life directly rather than projecting idealized expectations. These visits allow natural relationships to develop while revealing potential challenges before significant commitments are made.

When someone expresses serious interest in joining, we engage in conversations exploring spirituality, family dynamics, financial readiness, and alignment with community values. These discussions aren’t one-directional interviews but a shared discernment of whether this particular community is the right fit for this particular individual or family at this time along their journey.

For those departing, our ownership structure provides clear exit pathways. The community has the first right of refusal to purchase the departing member’s interest and home, with nine months to exercise this option. This arrangement protects the community’s integrity while ensuring members can recover their investment plus home appreciation.

A waiting list of interested families will help both the community and the departing member by facilitating a smoother transition. The home value is determined by a professional appraisal to ensure fairness with an appropriate profit for the departing member.

We have also established provisions for unexpected circumstances like an owner’s death. The heir(s) may petition to assume occupancy (subject to community approval) or receive proceeds from the sale of the home. This approach balances respect for family inheritance with the need for compatible members.

Maintaining Balance Through Prayer and Communication

At the heart of our governance approach lies the recognition that no human system, however carefully designed, can function properly without God’s grace. Regular prayer, both individual and communal, remains essential for maintaining right relationships and discerning God’s will in everyday decisions.

Community-wide prayer gatherings provide opportunities not just for spiritual connection but for sharing concerns, expressing gratitude, and renewing our shared vision. These times remind us that our ultimate purpose isn’t efficient management, rather “living and moving and having our being in Christ.” (Acts 17:28)

Clear, direct, and charitable communication complements prayer as the practical foundation of governance. We need regular community meetings with structured agendas that create space for both practical updates and deeper sharing. Between formal meetings, we maintain impromptu personal communications regularly, with a community group chat for practical matters.

The systems of governance that we are developing at Our Lady’s Ranch represent one approach among many possibilities. Each community must discern arrangements appropriate to their specific circumstances and membership. The basic principles outlined above are a general example to use during formational discussions and discernment.

26 – Divine Invitation

Many years ago, during a prayerful experience, I began to describe the images forming in my mind. “I visualized a landscape endowed with natural beauty, water sources, and varied topography, with detached dwellings sprinkled about, far enough apart for privacy yet close enough for community. Each home would have front porches and yards oriented toward central common areas for prayer, social visits, recreation, and communal work. At the center, a small chapel would serve as the focal point of community life—Jesus Christ himself.”

I believe that such persistent thoughts often represent divine invitation rather than mere personal ambition. Some dreams seem fueled by childhood experiences, some by imagination, and some through direct inspiration from God. My dream of a Catholic Family Homestead Community stemmed from all these sources, revealing God’s patient work in preparing me for His calling.

This doesn’t mean every attractive idea should be pursued immediately. Discernment requires careful attention to three potential sources of inspiration: God, our natural self, and sometimes even the enemy. The easiest desires to identify are those from the enemy because they come as temptations accompanied by fear, anxiety, selfishness, or physical cravings, and they typically don’t stand the test of time. Satan may sustain larger temptations for a while, but they eventually unravel into anxiety and frustration.

Desires that come from God have several distinct signs. First, they align with Church teaching and our state in life. Second, they penetrate deep in our core and persist even after years of consideration. Third, they bring deep divine peace along with interior joy in both thought and execution. Finally, they receive confirmation from our spouse and/or spiritual director, though this confirmation may develop gradually.

As you consider your attraction to a homesteading life, reflect on its qualities. Does this desire persist through difficulties and discouragement? Does exploring this path bring deep peace despite the challenges involved? Does your spouse or a trusted spiritual director confirm the legitimacy of this calling? These indicators help distinguish divine invitation from fleeting enthusiasm or escapist fantasy.

The Ten Actions Needed for Fulfillment

Through many years of helping families discern and pursue their homesteading desires, I have identified ten essential actions that create a foundation for success. These aren’t sequential steps but interrelated aspects of the journey that often unfold simultaneously.

1. Prayer to discover the desires of your heart represents the essential starting point. As Our Lady constantly reminds us through her messages of Medjugorje, “Yes, one must pray. What you are doing pleases me. For the time being keep a very active prayer life and God will then light up the other plans.” (June 7, 1986)

2. Discernment to understand these desires follows naturally, distinguishing divine invitation from personal preference or cultural pressure. This involves testing desires against Scripture, Church teaching, and the counsel of those with spiritual wisdom. It means paying attention to the fruits these desires produce—do they generate love, joy, peace and other fruits of the Spirit?

3. Evaluation to prioritize personal values helps identify primary issues versus areas of flexibility. Each family brings unique values to their homesteading journey—some prioritize community connection, others educational freedom for children, and still others environmental stewardship. Understanding your particular values helps direct your specific path.

4. Planning to establish long-term goals transforms vague desires into concrete realities. What specific lifestyle elements must your homestead include? What timeline seems realistic given your circumstances? What interim steps could bridge current reality and ultimate vision? This structured planning provides direction without becoming a rigid restriction.

5. Analysis of assets and liabilities creates a realistic foundation for implementation. This inquiry includes financial resources but extends to skills, relationships, health factors, and time constraints. Honest assessment prevents both unrealistic optimism and unnecessary limitation.

6. Investigation of possibilities broadens awareness beyond initial assumptions. Some families might include visiting diverse homesteads, researching alternative housing methods, or exploring different regional options. The more possibilities a family encounters, the more likely to discover approaches that align with financial resources and/or physical constraints.

7. Discussion to review and evaluate plans invites broader perspective through conversation with spouse, family members, trusted friends, and experienced homesteaders. These discussions help to refine a vision while identifying potential pitfalls that enthusiasm might overlook.

8. Organization of intermediate steps transforms an overwhelming vision into manageable progression. What skills can be developed now? What lifestyle changes can be implemented immediately? What research needs completion before major decisions?

9. Action to accomplish first steps moves beyond planning into implementation. For some families this means enrolling in relevant courses, yet for others, beginning container gardening, or visiting potential regions for relocation. Without concrete action, even the most attractive vision remains an unrealized dream.

10. Continued prayer for strength and discernment completes this cycle, returning us to our spiritual foundation. This ongoing prayer helps navigate inevitable challenges, discern necessary adjustments, and maintain focus on ultimate purpose beyond practical details.

These actions create a spiral of growing clarity and commitment. Prayer leads to insight, which prompts investigation and further action, which returns us to deeper prayer. Each cycle brings us closer to understanding and implementing God’s will for our family.

For a detailed review of these recommended ten steps, see the complete Guidance section at the following link…

The Role of Community

Perhaps our most important discovery has been that no family needs to make this journey alone. Therefore, one of the first practical steps in any homesteading journey should be connecting with other people who share a similar vision. This connection doesn’t require a local proximity, for many families build meaningful support networks long before living near each other.

Consider these approaches to building community support:

Join online forums and discussion groups focused on Catholic homesteading, like The Catholic Land Movement. These virtual communities provide both practical knowledge and encouraging companionship from those walking similar paths. Many lasting friendships and eventual collaborations begin through these connections.

Attend Catholic agrarian conferences and gatherings where like-minded families share experiences and wisdom. The Catholic Land Movement hosts regional events specifically designed to foster these connections, while organizations like Catholic Rural Life provide resources and networking opportunities.

Visit established Catholic Family Homesteads like Our Lady’s Ranch to learn from their experience and potentially form mentoring relationships. Most established homesteaders generously share their knowledge, knowing the challenges of isolated pioneering. Many homesteaders offer internships or extended visits for those seriously pursuing similar paths.

Visit local family farms who produce products that you like to eat and are interested in growing. Develop relationships with local farmers (regardless of faith background) who can provide specific agricultural lessons and wisdom.

Cultivate friendships with families sharing similar values. These relationships provide essential support, especially when a local homesteading community has not yet developed. These connections provide not just practical support but essential encouragement when challenges arise. They remind us that we are part of something larger than just our own family’s journey. We can connect with an exciting movement of renewal in our Church and culture.

Moving from Dreams to Reality

The path to Catholic family homesteading rarely follows a straight line. Our own journey took unexpected turns through both joys and sorrows before arriving at today’s reality. What matters isn’t perfect execution but faithfulness to the calling—one step at a time, always returning to the bedrock of prayer.

We have observed that families who establish simple, consistent prayer rhythms from the beginning (even something simple like a decade of the rosary before bed) create a spiritual foundation that sustains them through inevitable difficulties. Those who postpone establishing prayer rhythms until ‘things settle down’ often find spiritual practices consistently crowded out by urgent practical demands.

The homesteading journey ultimately isn’t about achieving some ideal agrarian lifestyle but about creating space for authentic human flourishing in Christ. Each small step towards this vision brings immediate blessings as it builds a foundation for deeper transformation. As our persevering Catholic Church constantly reminds us, God’s will unfolds through our daily faithfulness more than our grand plans.

I encourage you to take whatever small step lies immediately before you. Perhaps that means establishing a container garden on your apartment balcony, or visiting a local farm with your children, or simply beginning family dinner as a non-negotiable practice. These seemingly modest beginnings open pathways for God’s grace to work in unexpected ways.

Some families move quickly, others gradually. Some people pursue extensive agricultural operations, while others focus on simpler self-sufficiency. Some groups establish formal communities and others create informal networks of neighborly support. God calls each family according to their unique gifts and circumstances, writing distinct stories that share common themes of faith, family, and connection to creation.

27 – Getting Started

After sharing the history of Our Lady’s Ranch, our mistakes and successes, our governance structure, and our spiritual foundation, the most common question we receive remains disarmingly simple: “How do we get started?”

Families drawn to homesteading generally view their current circumstances negatively. Perhaps they own a home in the suburbs, work at a conventional job, and maintain a limited savings, so they naturally wonder how they could possibly switch to the life we have described. I intimately understand because during my initial desire for a Catholic Family Homestead, the path forward also seemed impossible.

However, God knows how to open our eyes towards new paths that we could not initially see. Following are some practical ideas for families considering this journey, drawing not just from our experience but from the many families we have guided over the years. I hope to simplify the process and help you find your way, whether that means joining an existing community or pioneering something new in your region.

The most liberating discovery for many families is that homesteading isn’t primarily about location but lifestyle. As my oldest daughter Ty explains in one of her blog posts:

“Homesteading is a wholesome lifestyle that prioritizes the family and the home while fostering a meaningful connection to the earth.”

Homesteading is not just a place but a lifestyle, so you can start homesteading wherever you live. You can begin incorporating elements of this lifestyle immediately, regardless of your current housing situation. The journey toward Catholic family homesteading doesn’t begin with property searches or farming plans, but with prayer, discernment, and practical steps to further align your current lifestyle more closely with your values.

Beginning Where You Are

Even in urban settings, families can take meaningful steps toward a homesteading lifestyle.

First, strengthen family bonds through intentional togetherness. The modern default of separate activities and schedules runs counter to the homesteading life. Begin eating meals together regularly—not just the occasional dinner but making shared meals a non-negotiable priority. Establish family prayer rhythms, even simple ones. Spend time playing games, reading aloud, and engaging in creative projects together. These practices build the relational foundation necessary for successful homesteading.

Second, reconnect with home as the center of life. Learn to cook more meals from scratch, starting with simple recipes that gradually build your skills. Reclaim traditional domestic arts like bread-making, artwork, or sewing. Create a small container garden, even on an apartment balcony. These practices develop not just practical skills but the mindset that home is a place of productive creativity rather than passive consumption.

Third, cultivate connection with nature wherever possible. Visit farmers’ markets to connect with local food producers. Take regular walks in parks or nature preserves. Plan camping trips to experience closer connection with natural rhythms. Visit working farms to observe agricultural practices firsthand. If space permits, raise a few chickens to experience animal husbandry on a manageable scale.

These practices serve multiple purposes including (a) providing immediate benefits for family life, (b) developing essential skills for future transition, and (c) testing your family’s genuine interest in a homesteading lifestyle before making major changes. Through these preliminary steps, many families soon discover whether their attraction to homesteading is simply a romantic notion or a genuine calling.

True discernment requires honest assessment of both spiritual and material resources. “Which of you, wishing to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost to see if he has the resources to complete it?” (Luke 14:28)

Begin with prayerful consideration of your family’s values and priorities. What aspects of the homesteading life most deeply resonate with your inspirations? Understanding your primary motivations will help direct your path and determine what compromises you might accept. Are you drawn primarily to an agricultural life, environmental stewardship, living in an intentional community, or traditional Catholic culture? Each family’s calling carries unique emphases that shape their particular journey.

Next, you can evaluate your material resources with clear-eyed realism. Don’t just consider financial assets but skills, relationships, and practical constraints. What savings and resources could support a move into the country? Have you considered creative multigenerational approaches? Would your parents be interested in selling their home and moving to a rural property along with you? This arrangement could provide some additional funding for your homestead while creating a richer family environment where grandparents can be actively involved in your children’s lives.

What skills do family members possess that might transfer to a homesteading lifestyle? Construction experience, farming hobbies, healthcare knowledge, and teaching backgrounds, can all provide either income streams during transition or practical capabilities that reduce costs.

What external support systems might assist your journey? Extended family members, church communities, professional networks, and farming mentors can all help during transition periods.

What obligations or limitations need consideration? Medical needs, educational requirements for children, care responsibilities for elderly parents—these types of difficult situations must factor into planning rather than being wished away.

This assessment process isn’t about finding reasons not to pursue a homesteading lifestyle. Rather, it’s about identifying the particular path that honors both your calling and your unique circumstances.

The Question of Property

For many families, property acquisition represents the most daunting aspect of the transition from an urban existence to a rural lifestyle. Land prices continue rising in many regions, while conventional financing for large parcels of land can be limiting as well. Yet creative approaches can make seemingly impossible situations manageable.

Renting land initially offers reduced financial commitment while developing necessary skills. Reasonably priced rentals usually exist on small countryside acreage outside city limits in many rural locations. Alternative means include regional agriculture extensions that maintain listings of landowners seeking farming tenants.

Living near an existing Catholic Family Homestead Community while developing independent operations provides both mentorship and community support during the difficult early years. As these communities multiply across the country, opportunities to settle nearby will increase. This approach combines independence with connection, giving new homesteaders autonomy while avoiding isolation.

Starting small with affordable land offers important advantages, particularly for families without extensive farming experience. Five acres can provide ample space for substantial gardens, small livestock operations, and a modest orchard, which is more than enough for a family to develop skills and determine what degree of agriculture suits them. Smaller properties also present fewer regulatory hurdles and more manageable maintenance requirements.

Partnering with other families can enable folks to access larger properties than they could otherwise afford individually. This might mean purchasing adjacent smaller parcels to create adjoining homesteads, jointly buying larger acreage for subdivision, or developing cooperative ownership structures like Our Lady’s Ranch. These types of partnerships can create immediate community while making otherwise unattainable properties accessible.

Purchasing land incrementally represents another viable strategy. We have seen families begin with raw land and gradually develop infrastructure while living in temporary housing, and then adding permanent structures as resources allow. This approach requires patience but often results in debt-free homesteads built with carefully considered plans rather than rushed compromises.

The most important consideration prioritizes community connection over perfect property. The most beautiful farms can fail because of isolation, while modest properties can flourish through community support. Consider not just the land but the human ecosystem around it, including its proximity to parish life, potential for like-minded neighbors, and accessibility for visitors and volunteers.

Building Skills and Experience

While researching various considerations, including opportunities for property, families can develop critical skills that smooth out their eventual transition. Farming knowledge represents only one aspect of a successful homestead. The fullness of a homesteading lifestyle requires diverse capabilities that most modern families haven’t yet developed. So we invite you to incrementally build and/or increase some of the following homesteading skills:

Homeschooling promotes quality family time and the development of family values. Educational approaches for children require thoughtful investigation, particularly for families considering homeschooling. Experimenting with different methods, connecting with local homeschooling groups, and gradually increasing parental involvement in education helps families determine which approaches best suit their children’s needs and parental abilities.

Hobbies, Crafts, and Cooking from Scratch create a Homesteading environment. Home production skills transform a household from consumption center to production hub. Cooking from scratch, bread baking, cheese making, soap production, and fiber arts all reduce dependence on commercial products while connecting families to tradition. These skills can be developed incrementally alongside a conventional lifestyle, building personal capacities and confidence before integrating them into daily life.

Food production and preservation skills form agricultural self-sufficiency. Begin with vegetable gardening and small-scale animal husbandry. Learn different preservation methods like canning, dehydrating, and fermenting, which all extend harvest seasons. Even apartment dwellers can experiment with sprouts, microgreens, and container gardening while learning preservation techniques in small batches.

Practical property maintenance reduces dependence on expensive services. Basic carpentry skills, landscaping, plumbing, and small engine repair prove invaluable on a homestead where systems and tools regularly need attention. Many community colleges offer affordable courses in these trades, while YouTube tutorials and extension office workshops provide accessible training for motivated learners.

Financial management minimizes risk particularly during transition periods when income sources and expense patterns dramatically change. Maintaining a budget includes learning how to distinguish needs from wants, and building emergency reserves creates resilience during challenging transitions. Urban families can accelerate their adjustment by applying financial principles while still living in the city.

Many of these skills can be developed gradually through courses, apprenticeships, volunteer work, and small-scale practice. The journey toward homesteading thus becomes a formation process, building not just practical capability but the personal qualities needed for a sustainable agrarian life—patience, perseverance, problem-solving, creativity, comfort with uncertainty, and especially trust in God’s providence.

28 – Oasis of Peace

Dawn slowly rises above Our Lady’s Ranch as the presence of Jesus hovers within our souls. The rooster’s call mingles with church bells ringing in the morning Angelus. Light spills across the meadows where sheep graze and gardens proliferate. Doors open as families and helpers emerge for morning chores—children collecting eggs, teenagers tending livestock, and adults gathering for a morning meeting.

This ordinary scene bears witness to an extraordinary opportunity. What began as a child’s dream, then a young architect’s vision, is slowly becoming a living reality. Not the perfect implementation of every ideal, but a humble striving to live heaven on earth as imperfectly as our own fallen nature. While much of what I have described has only occurred through periodic samples and seasons, a broad foundation has been established. The vision has been clarified, and we stand at the threshold of implementing this community life in its more complete form.

Looking back at Church history, I’m struck by how God initiates particular responses to particular challenges. When the Roman Empire crumbled and barbarian invasions threatened civilization, St. Benedict’s monasteries became outposts that preserved not just the faith but learning and culture. When the medieval Church faced corruption and needed renewal, Saints Francis and Dominic answered the call with movements embodying radical simplicity and profound intellectual tradition. St. Thomas Aquinas emerged when faith needed to engage with reason in new ways. Each instrument of change arose at precisely the moment they were needed.

I believe we are living in another such pivotal moment in history. Our Lady says that her appearances in Medjugorje will be her final apparitions before the fulfillment of her plans.

“I have come to call the world to conversion for the last time. Afterwards, I will not appear any more on this earth.” (May 2, 1982)

She has been preparing us with remarkable patience, appearing daily for over four decades, teaching us like children who need constant reminders. These homestead communities aren’t about apocalyptic prepping, rather they are a positive response to her call for an Oasis of Peace where authentic faith can be lived and shared.

“Dear children, God is allowing me along with Himself to bring about this oasis of peace.” (June 26, 1986)

Visitors often ask what the future holds for Our Lady’s Ranch. While specifics remain in God’s hands, the vision continues unfolding in ways both expected and surprising. Unlike conventional development projects that prioritize growth and scale, we envision Our Lady’s Ranch developing organically through deepening relationships rather than expanding numbers. The twelve home sites identified in our master plan provide natural limits to our size, ensuring we remain small enough for an authentic community while large enough for mutual support.

This approach stands counter to modern assumptions about success. We are not building a model to franchise or scale nationally. Rather, we are cultivating deep roots in this particular place with particular people. The fruit of our work won’t primarily be measured in numbers of residents or acres farmed, but in the spiritual formation of families and the witness our community provides.

Beyond Our Lady’s Ranch, we envision the emergence of diverse Catholic Homestead Family Communities across the country—not isolated outposts but regional clusters that support one another while maintaining distinct identities. This movement has already begun appearing in several regions throughout the United States and indeed worldwide, where several communities are beginning to sprout from small seeds of faith and determination.

This vision of small, faith-centered communities scattered across the landscape echoes what was witnessed in the early days of Medjugorje, as described in It Ain’t Gonna Happen (pp. 81-82) by A Friend of Medjugorje.

In Medjugorje, in the beginning days, many saw a strange occurrence on Cross Mountain. Some even saw it from afar. One of those who witnessed it was the visionary Marija’s brother, Andrija. He said that he and others saw the whole of the sky over Cross Mountain, covered in what looked like a white veil, except one could see through it. Through the veil, they could see a small church with four or five houses around it. The four or five houses were surrounded with green fields. Then there was another church with four or five houses around it, surrounded by green fields. And then another and another repeat of the scene. When Andrija was asked how many, he said hundreds of churches were surrounded the same way… the little village churches were descending to the earth very slowly.

Through the years, Andrija was asked about this several times, and what he thought it meant. He would say, “It meant what I saw.”

This image of a small church surrounded by several homes and productive fields aligns perfectly with the model of Catholic Family Homestead Communities we feel called to help establish. We desire to assist the formation of small, intentional, agrarian communities where faith and daily life are seamlessly integrated.

These clusters will naturally develop different emphases according to their founding members’ charisms and regional contexts. Some groups will focus primarily on agricultural production, while others on education, and still others on particular ministries or traditional crafts. This diversity strengthens the broader movement by providing different entry points for families according to their unique callings. Someday, we should have enough of these communities spread across our country so that individuals and families can choose which one to join.

Future gatherings between communities will create opportunities for mutual encouragement, resource sharing, and collaborative learning. Annual conferences, seasonal celebrations, and informal visits will build connections without requiring formal institutional structures. This organic network approach seems particularly suited to our time. Rather than building monolithic institutions, we are creating interconnected clusters of Catholic culture—each small and locally adapted, but linked through shared values and practical cooperation. This distributed model provides resilience while allowing authentic diversity within fundamental unity.

Not every Catholic family is called to full-time homesteading, so we envision multiple paths of participation that accommodate different vocations, life stages, and circumstances. Extended visits and internships can offer people an immersive experience without long-term commitment. Our visiting programs allow families to spend weekends, weeks, or months living alongside community members and participating in daily rhythms, while discerning whether this lifestyle aligns with their calling. For young adults, structured internships provide hands-on learning in agriculture, crafts, and community living without premature decisions about their life direction.

We build bridges between urban and rural Catholics that benefit both. Families that live in the city support us by purchasing our farm products, attending seasonal celebrations, volunteering during peak agricultural seasons, and providing professional services that complement our agricultural expertise. These connections give us greater economic resilience while helping urban families stay connected to agricultural experiences and rhythms they can’t fully embrace in their current circumstances.

We regularly share our hard-won wisdom with families and groups starting their own Catholic Family Homesteads, while encouraging their unique expression. Each new homestead becomes a fresh incarnation of timeless principles in particular people at a particular place.

When I began this journey, Catholic homesteading represented a radical counterculture. I presented a lifestyle so markedly different from mainstream American life that it required extensive explanation and justification. While still distinctly different than our current culture, we are now witnessing early signs of a broader acceptance and interest.

The COVID pandemic accelerated existing trends toward remote work, home-centered life, and food security concerns. More families began questioning industrial food systems, institutional education, and technology’s impacts on family life. What once seemed extreme—growing food, educating children at home, and limiting electronic entertainment—increasingly appears more aptly prudent than ridiculously radical.

Meanwhile, the Catholic Church is currently experiencing renewal through lay movements of authentic discipleship, family catechesis, and intentional community. These movements naturally align with homesteading practices that integrate faith throughout daily life rather than relegating it to Sunday worship alone.

Without naive optimism about cultural transformation, we believe Catholic Family Homestead Communities will become increasingly recognized as a viable alternative rather than a curious anomaly. This shift won’t represent mass adoption, for these communities will likely remain minority expressions for the foreseeable future. But our witness will speak more powerfully as conventional structures continue facing ecological, economic, and social challenges.

When I began with only a simple childhood vision of community life, I recognized that many questions remained unanswered. Where exactly would this homestead be? Who would make up the community? How would we balance our autonomy and individuality with unity in Christ?

Some of these questions have found answers through lived experience. Others remain open, continuing to unfold through daily faithfulness and ongoing discernment. What has become clear through this journey is that the answers never arrive all at once, but emerge gradually through the interplay of divine guidance and human cooperation. Our cooperation with God has united Karen and me in a divine bond that grows each day as we develop a community in His grace.

Our Lady’s Ranch now bears both similarities and differences to the initial vision. We are not developing a community by implementing perfect plans. Rather, we are moving forward through trials and joys, making mistakes and experiencing unexpected grace, always returning to prayer as our foundation. The community emerging today does not represent the perfect implementation of human plans but something much richer—God’s work among imperfect people seeking to live according to His will.

This grace-filled process will continue characterizing the broader movement of Catholic Family Homesteads. Each community will discover its particular expression through lived experience rather than theoretical blueprints, and each family will find their unique calling within a broader vision. The movement will grow through the Holy Spirit’s work among the faithful people who respond to divine invitation, as opposed to institutional planning.

With these understandings, we can now extend a simple invitation to discern your path toward a more integrated, faith-filled family life. Whether that means joining an existing Catholic Family Homestead Community, pioneering something new in your region, or incorporating elements of this lifestyle in your current situation, the divine calling remains the same—take one faithful step toward the vision God has placed on your heart.

The Catholic Family Homestead movement doesn’t require massive resources, institutional support, or perfect circumstances. It simply needs faithful families responding to Our Lady’s invitation with a daily fiat to living in God’s will. Like tiny mustard seeds, these small beginnings contain transformative potential far beyond their apparent significance.

Karen and I are convinced that Catholic Family Homesteads represent something far greater than merely a response to cultural challenges. These communities embody divine wisdom in fresh expression, creating places for authentic human flourishing in Christ.

Through her School of Holiness, Our Lady teaches us how to live in the new springtime of Christianity that Pope John Paul II envisioned. Through her messages of Medjugorje, she gives us A Way of Salvation that explains to us the meaning of the Gospel and shows us how to live it in the practical applications of everyday life. Through her witness of love and her role as Mother, she inspires us to pray and work each day for the Glory of God and the Salvation of Souls.

“Do not forget that I am your Mother and that I love you.” (May 23, 1988)

It is a simple village that we desire, A Catholic Family Homestead Community… A place where God is first and people are free to live, love, and laugh… A place where we can live in peace and share it with others… A place where Our Lady can bring us into union with her Son so that we can all experience His love, peace, and joy… An oasis of peace called, Our Lady’s Ranch.

“I call you always to bring harmony and peace.”
(July 31, 1986)